Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
EmilyEmmabob · 09/09/2021 06:47

There is so much wrong with this I don't know where to start.
You need to change this dynamic and quickly, then you can address his stupid and controlling demands about food.
Don't check with MIL.

Hamster1111 · 09/09/2021 06:48

I bet this isn't the only thing he demands from you as a sahm parent. It sounds like he thinks you are his servant rather than his equal because he is the 'man of the house'.

Needthesun · 09/09/2021 06:48

I voted YABU because all the talk of you ‘serving’ him lunch and rushing to consult MIL on the poor dear’s eating habits is ridiculous. Can’t he make a sandwich for himself? Why is feeding him your responsibility (even as a SAHM)? I’m currently at home and, yes, I see dinner as my responsibility but the rest of the time we cater for ourselves.

EarringsandLipstick · 09/09/2021 06:48

So AIBU to serve him the lasagne?

YABU to 'serve' him anything 😳

Come on, what decade are you in? Fine that you make most of the meals, but you don't serve him, surely.

And yes, as PP have said, if he doesn't like the meal, he makes something else for himself.

DobieGrayshark · 09/09/2021 06:49

My DH is lucky if we remember to save him a portion of food for dinner. If we don’t he doesn’t even complain and just makes himself beans on toast and a salad. Lunch in our house is never really planned and is just “eat what you can find in the fridge or cupboards”. Usually soup or sandwich type stuff.

Anon135798642 · 09/09/2021 06:50

You: DC and I are having leftover lasagne for lunch, would you like some too?
DH: Let me count the days since I last ate lasagne (counts) Hmmm, it's less than 7, so of course not!! What else is there?
You: Not sure, have a look and help yourself.

You are not his servant.

lannistunut · 09/09/2021 06:50

Oh wow! OP have you read back what you posted???

He sounds genuinely awful, and you sound so servile.

Tell him to fuck off to the chip shop if he won't eat the lasagne.

I answered YABU because I can't believe you're even talking like this! You need to get your self-respect built up and get out of 1950s thinking.

Unless there is domestic abuse, in which case please try to reach out for help, this post makes no sense.

garlictwist · 09/09/2021 06:51

Why are you "serving" a grown adult lunch? Can't he make his own? I find this a bit weird.

Chiwi · 09/09/2021 06:51

My DP does the majority of the cooking. I wonder if he wonders if it is acceptable to serve me lasagne two days in a row 🤔 for the record it is absolutely not, I demand new and exciting options at each meal!

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 09/09/2021 06:51

Yabu for “serving” him anything for lunch

He can get himself lunch (eg bread and add salad/cheese)

Stop being so subservient

BeaFlowers · 09/09/2021 06:51

Tell him to make his own fucking tea !
Are we in the 1950's Grin

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 06:51

Blimey. My DH would make himself a sandwich and be glad someone else had done the shopping.

Are you doing a home cooked dinner too?

I'm hoping that this is a problem of your own imagination and that whilst he'd prefer not to have the same meal twice in a week he'll actually appreciate that as you didn't know he'd be there on this occasion he'll have to have what there is.

FWIW I agree with him that variety is important in your diet. I wouldn't plan to give the family the same main meal 3 days in a week, but dinner leftovers for lunch is different.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 09/09/2021 06:52

My DP doesn't like to eat the same meal in a row, or even with the same ingredients (so pasta dishes etc) but it doesn't change what I cook, he will just make himself something else.

LadyGAgain · 09/09/2021 06:52

It's like a post from 1952. I think you have the answer you need OP.

HoppingHamster · 09/09/2021 06:52

What a knob.

Claudethecat · 09/09/2021 06:56

Has the world timeslipped back to the 1950s while I have been asleep?

I am not young and have never indulged a man in this way. It makes me sad that young women go along with this sort of crap. OP, he should be grateful you make him any sort of breakfast/lunch/dinner. You are not his servant.

hellcatspangle · 09/09/2021 06:56

Missing the point of the thread a bit but why do you eat a proper cooked meal every day for lunch? Do you cook again at night? Either way, stop pandering to a grown man and let him make his own lunch.

RightYesButNo · 09/09/2021 06:56

Just tell him it’s already been a week. I mean, if he’s such a spoiled baby, he probably doesn’t know the days of the week yet, anyway.

bubblepond · 09/09/2021 06:58

If he doesn't like it, he can cook! He's an adult

GoogleWhacked · 09/09/2021 06:58

How bizarre?! In this house you either eat what's going or make something yourself. And regularly it's what's on offer is something that's already been served this week, especially like lasagne, stew etc...
I'm curious though, is it within the last 7 days? Or Mon to Sun? Either way, it's ridiculous!!

Wagglerock · 09/09/2021 06:59

YABU for a number of reasons

  1. Leftover lasagna is better than just made lasagna therefore this is a great meal, he'd be a fool to reject
  1. He can make his own food if he's foolish to want something else
  1. "Serve him" "feed him" it is not the 1950s nor is he a baby
femfemlicious · 09/09/2021 06:59

OP I wonder why you brought this question here. You must have known what we would all sayGrin.

Sceptre86 · 09/09/2021 07:00

My dh wouldn't eat leftovers when we first got together, it's not the done thing in his family. They would normally chuck them out until I arrived and hoovered them up for lunch. I couldn't and still don't understand why my mil would feel the need to cook fresh food everyday when there was enough leftover food for dinner the next day. It didn't make sense to me as religious people that they would create so much waste.

In my own home, dh is now used to leftovers as I previously had 2 under 2 and wasn't going to make my own life harder by adding cooking everyday to the mix as well. He often cooks extra himself so we can freeze a portion for a later date or have the next day but then cooking is not just my job in our home.

You were always going to get a hard time with the way you have worded your post on aibu. It sounds like as the sahm cooking and planning is your domain which is fair enough but you are pandering to him. I would br inclined to tell him to sort out his own lunch or dinner if he doesn't want leftovers.

NewlyGranny · 09/09/2021 07:00

I would put out some crackers and cheese for DH and eat the lasagne in front of him. I suspect his objection to having the same thing twice might quietly evaporate in the face of that.

OrangeTortoise · 09/09/2021 07:01

OP, you need to be careful not to confuse SAHM with skivvy.