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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
Jasmine11 · 09/09/2021 13:33

I voted YABU for even pandering to this in the first place!

2021Vision · 09/09/2021 13:40

It appears OP that you are making the mistake a lot of women make when they are SAHP. t's a mistake that many men take full advantage of and that is this - because you don't earn money you are responsible for absoluately everything else and are in fact the house servant.

During lockdown I wasn't working, my 2 teens and DH made their own lunch. It gave them an opportunity to have a break and they could decide what they wanted. The only time we all 'lunch' together is when we have a full brunch and eat the same because invariably we are all eating different things.

Please be mindful of the fact that your children are seeing you pandering to your DHs needs and this is not a good example to set, it is very 1950s.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/09/2021 13:41

If he doesn't like what you provide he can make a sandwich or open a tin of soup or something. I assume he hasn't lost the use of his arms as well as his brain?

We have had the same meal two days running if there's loads of it and I haven't had time to cook anything else. There is never a complaint.

sueelleker · 09/09/2021 13:48

Twice in a WEEK? My husband will happily eat the same meal 3 days running! (eg; if I make a large casserole or similar)

ghostfacers · 09/09/2021 13:48

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together

there's a difference between eating together and pandering to your Dh's whims by 'serving' him his desired lunch ... Confused

Mojoj · 09/09/2021 13:50

What century are you from? Or is this post a wind up?

zingally · 09/09/2021 13:51

I wouldn't personally want to eat the same meal 3 days in a row - so I'd make something of my own!

What did his last slave die of?!

StrawBeretMoose · 09/09/2021 13:52

@Fruitloopcowabunga

Ha, I often get 4 days out of a chilli/curry, without complaints!
I'm grateful that DH cooks but not grateful enough to have the same meal 4 times in a week. I know I could cook my own, but I have other chores in our division of labour.
VestaTilley · 09/09/2021 13:52

YANBU. If he doesn’t like it, he can cook the meals. You’re not a personal chef.

HaveringWavering · 09/09/2021 13:54

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

Not during the working week, no. We are too busy with work to synchronise our diaries to have lunch at the same time and often have lunchtime meetings anyway. If not working over lunch we both prefer to use it to browse the Internet or whatever. We have dinner together in the evening but barely see each other during the day.

On occasion, if I am making something like a salad for myself I might make enough for 2 and he can serve himself when he fancies.

scully29 · 09/09/2021 14:03

Yes I dont believe this is a real thread. No one could be that entitled surely?

georgarina · 09/09/2021 14:13

apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it.

So he expects you to be his mum??

You're both doing jobs and he's not a child. If there are leftovers that someone is making, he can either have them or make something himself. It's not a restaurant...

Youarethecurry · 09/09/2021 14:13

Oh 'MIL never did'.

Could that be the root of your problem?

Home made food like lasagne and stew tastes better the next day. I would tell him this. I think Nigella Lawson actually wrote that in one of her books.

Next time he paints something or cuts the hedge, try telling him that your father did it better, and see how he likes it.

RedToothBrush · 09/09/2021 14:15

Is he 5? Or does he think you are a replacement mother?

Or just not capable making his own dinner?

If he doesn't like what is put in front of him for dinner then he goes hungry.

The end.

Lollipop40 · 09/09/2021 14:16

@sueelleker

Twice in a WEEK? My husband will happily eat the same meal 3 days running! (eg; if I make a large casserole or similar)
Same here! But to be honest if he did complain he’d be told in no uncertain terms to wind his neck in and make himself something!
Flipflopblowout · 09/09/2021 14:20

I like second day roast and second day mince.

Bellyups · 09/09/2021 14:31

He’s not your pet. You don’t have to ‘feed hun’

AmIamum10 · 09/09/2021 14:46

You are a saint. Or are you being manipulated? Or is this a troll question? I do not even cook. My husband cooks most of the time. We both work full time. Never has he complained about food. He actually can, coz I am a sh*t wife. I cannot imagine someone like your husband being so unreasonable and also have managed to make you feel unreasonable. DONT FEED HIM ANYTHING. You're not his chef.

ImprobablePuffin · 09/09/2021 15:14

I've read the word 'lasagne' so many times now it's lost all meaning and sounds like a made up word.

DressBitch · 09/09/2021 15:24

And now I really want lasagna.

user1493494961 · 09/09/2021 15:34

I'm sure he won't starve.

Plumtree391 · 09/09/2021 15:37

I love lasagna.

'Lasagne' is plural of lasagna.

I also like second day roast, cold, with mashed potato and Branston pickle.

Velveteena · 09/09/2021 15:38

I love a single lasagne and a single panini.

If Italy has a problem with that they can come and speak to me.

SeriouslyISuppose · 09/09/2021 15:40

@ImprobablePuffin

I've read the word 'lasagne' so many times now it's lost all meaning and sounds like a made up word.
Though what I’m taking from this is, surely it’s a bit unusual to have a substantial ‘dinner’y lunch in the middle of the day (unless it’s their main meal, I suppose?) I think I would be semi comatose digesting lasagne at noon, and my afternoon’s work would suffer.
ImprobablePuffin · 09/09/2021 16:07

@starfishmummy

I must admit I'm a bitat all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

My dh works from home too. I'm currently on MN while he is making lunch for us all...again.
I think he realised that if he wanted more than an elderly banana or a piece of several days old bread with a side of a cube if cheese, then this was the way to go.

Was anyone else tickled at 'elderly banana'?