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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/09/2021 12:21

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

My husband moaned about something I cooked once. After a while of getting his own meals he behaved.

Until a few years later when he did it again... It all came screaming back to him.

If someone is making you a meal and you don't want that meal then make your own fucking dinner.

Serve him indeed.

timeisnotaline · 09/09/2021 12:23

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?
Nope. Absolutely no idea what my dh had for lunch today. I saw our 6yo eating a toasted sandwich so dh made him that. I made mine between meetings- crisp bread with feta and avocado. Not dhs idea of a perfect lunch.

TempleofZoom · 09/09/2021 12:26

*must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?.
Breakfast and lunch are DIY in our house.

I like eating in peace and its not my responsibility what DH eats.
We just get our own.
Dinner is a joint enterprise
It would irritate me to have someone hanging around waiting for me to hand them food Confused

Bluntness100 · 09/09/2021 12:29

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together

Um no, only at dinner time, the rest of th time we sort ourselves when hungry.

gogohm · 09/09/2021 12:31

Unreasonable, I make lasagna and we have it Monday & Wednesday perhaps, then freeze the rest. Same with stew, sometimes with stew I stick it into a pie the next day. No moans here

SeasonFinale · 09/09/2021 12:33

I said YABU because you literally shouldn't either be "feeding him" or put up with the nonsense. If that is the dinner that is prepared he eats it or does his own or goes without.

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 09/09/2021 12:35

Can't he cook? If the answer is no, great -he can start learning. I wouldn't be cooking anymore for him -period.

weemouse · 09/09/2021 12:36

YABU for pandering to an adult’s food whims! No need to consult MiL!

This, a million times over.

Tell him to make his own fucking lunch

fuckoffImcounting · 09/09/2021 12:40

To "feed DH" - is he a baby or a dog that needs feeding? Jesus wept.

EmbarrassingMama · 09/09/2021 12:42

Call yourself a wife? Unbelievable.

LowlandLucky · 09/09/2021 12:43

He is a big man now, if he won't eat what you have prepared tell him to get off his pampered backside and feed himself. You are an equal partner not a skivvy

Fizzbangwallop · 09/09/2021 12:45

@KidsAreMean I’m another one who can’t believe you stand for any of this nonsense!

Aren’t you tempted to ‘serve’ DH his lasagna into his lap if he complains about having to eat leftovers? Smile

furbabymama87 · 09/09/2021 12:50

Besides the point, but how do you have no food in the house at all with kids? That's really bad. Having said that, he should eat what's on offer, or go and pick up a few bits himself and make something.

RussianSpy101 · 09/09/2021 12:50

YABU to have the same dinner twice in a week

YABU to make him all his meals

Seeingadistance · 09/09/2021 12:55

@Burnt0utMum

Don't serve him anything. If he doesn't like what you've provided he can make himself something else.
Yep!
starfishmummy · 09/09/2021 13:04

I must admit I'm a bitat all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

My dh works from home too. I'm currently on MN while he is making lunch for us all...again.
I think he realised that if he wanted more than an elderly banana or a piece of several days old bread with a side of a cube if cheese, then this was the way to go.

starfishmummy · 09/09/2021 13:05

Oh and it means he takes a proper break.

SpeckledFrogsLog · 09/09/2021 13:06

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

No, hardly ever! We have two teens and we’re all regularly doing different things so we all often fend for ourselves. And we never, ever eat lunch together when we’re WFH. I’d find that quite strange Confused

SeriouslyISuppose · 09/09/2021 13:07

@EmbarrassingMama

Call yourself a wife? Unbelievable.
I’m assuming this is sophisticated sarcasm.
Fruitloopcowabunga · 09/09/2021 13:13

Ha, I often get 4 days out of a chilli/curry, without complaints!

lazylinguist · 09/09/2021 13:21

I must admit I'm a bitat all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

Yes, we all eat together when we're at home. Sometimes I make lunch, sometimes dh does, sometimes we just chuck a load of bits on the table and everyone helps themselves.

But the point is that yes, getting lunch for your husband (or vice versa) is obviously fine if it's the convenient thing to do. But when one half of the couple issues diktats about what they will or won't be served, they should have to make their own damned meals, possibly forever, or certainly until they learn not to be such a twat.

Plumtree391 · 09/09/2021 13:25

You spoil him, op.

Funnily enough, when I cooked I used to hate serving the same meal twice, eg two days running, like lasagne; I'd apologise for it! My husband would tell me I was silly because there was nothing wrong with doing that.

I think your husband has a nerve, frankly. He's lucky to have someone cook for him. Tell him to do the cooking.

Don't we all do things differently to our mothers?

RampantIvy · 09/09/2021 13:28

DH and I sort out our own lunches when we WFH. We always eat together in the evening and at weekends.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 09/09/2021 13:28

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together

No, we all sort ourselves out as we will want to eat at different times depending on when we are hungry, when is convenient between meetings or in my case when my work dictates I should take a break. You seem surprised whereas I suspect you are in the minority, your way seems very old fashioned to me, like my grandmother used to be

SameToo · 09/09/2021 13:32

Surely this is just fishing to see how many of you bite Grin Lots it seems.

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