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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
Velveteena · 09/09/2021 11:12

I could not expend this much energy worrying about what my partner was going to eat and whether he'd find it acceptable. Nope.

Tonkerbea · 09/09/2021 11:12

I know you're post is quite light-hearted, but honestly, stop pandering to this shit. It's a really bad example to your kids.

Moelwynbach · 09/09/2021 11:13

Why women pander to their partner's giant man baby whims ill never know.

Tonkerbea · 09/09/2021 11:13

*your. So annoyed by your DH I forgot basic grammar

Rewis · 09/09/2021 11:15

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

Our discussion during WFH is "I'm gonna heat up some lasagne for lunch, want some?" "Don't feel like it, gonna make an omelet"

Unicorn34 · 09/09/2021 11:16

Food is food, it is there to stop you being hungry and to allow your body to function..... I love having yesterdays leftovers (if they can be leftover) as they taste soooo much better! Send DH back to his mums for dinner - job done!

EarringsandLipstick · 09/09/2021 11:21

I must admit I'm a bit Confused at all the let him get his own lunches

That's more than a little disingenuous of you OP.

We all said - let him get his own when he doesn't want to eat what you prepared. That's the relevant bit.

We also took issue with the idea of 'serving' him at all.

BoredZelda · 09/09/2021 11:26

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

Yes for dinner, but not for lunch. My lunch time varies depending on various things.

Jmaho · 09/09/2021 11:29

Please tell me you were confused when you wrote this post and meant to say your young child and not your adult husband

Velveteena · 09/09/2021 11:34

Women really shouldn't make this rod for their backs where they pander to their menfolks' food foibles. He should take what's on offer or make something else. Even if he is wfh it will take him all of 3 mins to sling a sandwich together.

MusicTeacherSussex · 09/09/2021 11:37

OP you need your head checked. If he doesn't like what's on the menu after he changed his plans and decided to wfh he can get his own lunch. That is all.

Ridiculous.

saraclara · 09/09/2021 11:37

I'm slightly confused by a family that is able to have lunch as their main meal together. Are the kids grown up and working from home too? No-one at school? No-one working away from the home?
Even working from home I'd find it difficult to schedule a meal break at the exact same time as the rest of the family for a round-the-table main meal.

TatianaBis · 09/09/2021 11:37

I must admit I'm a bit confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

If DH is home at lunch time, we might eat at the same time but we tend to get our own.

I always have stuff for lunch in the fridge- soups, cold meat, tarama, hummus, salad etc.

CaptSkippy · 09/09/2021 11:40

OP, you may like this video:

Motherdare · 09/09/2021 11:42

Good lord. If I’m out I might pick him up a sandwich or some sushi and he’s grateful. Other than that I have no interest in what my husband eats for lunch. He knows where the kitchen is. And the shops. And yes, I’m a sahm. And he’s wfh. He sorts himself out in the same way he did when he was in the office.

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 11:43

I think people are getting over excited about "lunch". This is this family's main meal of the day. Surely it's normal for one person to cook and everyone sit down together, rather than one person get themselves a sandwich.

He needs to eat what there is or do it himself, but the general principle that a diet should be well varied is a good one.

Redjumper1 · 09/09/2021 11:49

If he gets a takeaway when at the office then he can get one if he is not happy with lazanga or eggs? Just say it to him and say you are not prepared cos he is wfh so does he want the lasanga/eggs/a sandwich or we can get a takeaway.

CantChatNow · 09/09/2021 11:51

Petty question, does it have to be at least 7 days before he can eat lasagna again, or could you have lasagna on Sunday then again on Monday because it is a different week?

He'd starve in our house OP, my DH has leftovers pretty much everyday (and he microwaves them himself!) if you want to cook something else that's your lookout but I wouldn't be arsed!

Airyfairymarybeary · 09/09/2021 11:58

ZOMBIE POST from the 50’s

TatianaBis · 09/09/2021 12:00

@LegendaryReady

I think people are getting over excited about "lunch". This is this family's main meal of the day. Surely it's normal for one person to cook and everyone sit down together, rather than one person get themselves a sandwich.

Fair point about the main meal. What do they do for supper?

But either way I wouldn’t brook any whinging about meal repetition. Casseroles, lasagne, moussaka etc last 2 days.

Techno56 · 09/09/2021 12:07

@KidsAreMean

Blush I don't usually expect the kids to eat the same thing three times in one week. But, they begged for lasagne, I hate making it so they can eat it til it's gone! I don't want to freeze it as I don't like defrosted lentils.

We eat our main meal at lunch time. I usually do M/W and T/T although if I don't have enough for two meals, I portion some up for DH to take to work the following day and we eat something easy like scrambled eggs or fish fingers the other day of the pair. Otherwise he gets a cooked meal from the canteen or takeaway when he's at the office.

DH cooks one or both of the main meals at the weekend.

I must admit I'm a bit Confused at all the let him get his own lunches when he's working from home. If you're all at home at a meal time, don't you all eat together?

No we don't.

My husband used to have a cooked meal at work so evenings were easier for us (son has ASC and food aversion so there was rarely a meal where everyone ate the same thing anyway, or had an activity so ate at a different time to us).

Now he works from home, I make main meals in the evening if I feel like it. If I don't we have whatever we can find in the fridge or freezer. He makes his own lunch and eats it wherever he wants. So do I.

If he wants something specific on a certain time.kr a certain day of the week he can make it himself. No interest in being his personal chef, it's bad enough catering for my son's dietary needs.

Goldbar · 09/09/2021 12:13

There have been a couple of threads recently about men unhappy with their partners' cooking.

Fwiw, the correct response if anyone cooks for you is "Thank you, I really appreciate it". If they're close family and ask you for feedback, I think it's acceptable to say "I prefer this" or "I didn't think it was one of your best". So you don't need to lie. It's also fine to say "Thanks, I'll grab my own" if offered something that doesn't appeal to you.

What is not acceptable is expressing open dissatisfaction or discontent with the food cooked or (for anyone over the age of 18) making out that your partner has failed in their duties by not feeding you properly.

It is a privilege to be cooked for.

BertramLacey · 09/09/2021 12:13

Lentils - in lasagne?

I make veg lasagne with lentils. It's great.

EL8888 · 09/09/2021 12:14

@Airyfairymarybeary it’s the ultimate retro zombie thread! I’m sure there will be some along shortly about if someone can vote differently to their husband or go to work

Sweetchocolatecandy · 09/09/2021 12:15

Wow, whenever I cook for my DH he is extremely grateful and eats whatever I make him, likewise I’m the same when he cooks for me. It sounds as if you have a very patriarchal, old-fashioned set up OP where you pussy-foot around your DH and he dictates what meals you make. Does he ever cook for you?