I've just worked out that when I'm 70 my DD will only be 29

[SuperbLyrebird]

I've never done the maths before but I was reading a thread on the Elderly Parent board the other day (heaven knows why as I've never had elderly parents!) and it got me thinking and I felt sad.

How do others who had their kids in there 40s feel?

And to add the disclaimer: I know I will be fortunate to reach that age as neither of my parents did.

I've probably done everything wrong according to the MN parent rules. I had ds at 39, and he's an only child. So he is a lonely only (he isn't), he'll be a grabby adult and he will be the sole carer for older parents. Luckily he is a great kid, knows we love him and assuming no one needs to spend all their money on nursing care he will be well off when we go at whatever age. As for grandchildren I'm not fussed either way, his choice not mine

3 couples married before graduation (so 20/21)
3 more the following year (22/23)
Then pretty much 3-4 every year for the next 5 years.
Last of DH school friends was in 2007 ( so we were 33 and his wife was much younger)

I don’t think there’s perfect age to have children. I had ivf many times over 7 years and was 39 when finally had mine. My mum was 40 when she had me ( she had my two siblings when she was younger) and she’s now 94, and still independent. In fact at 70 was very active indeed. Sadly, My dad passed away when I was 47. So I don’t think about it much and just be happy with what I have and feel lucky that I was able to have a baby after many years of ttc.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

Child of older parents and extremely bitter about it - best not to ask :)

Yes, I am so mad they are not here, it isn't just about giving a person life, that doesn't come anywhere near it.

I get what you mean OP but my parents had me when they were 19. My mum died when I was 28, my sister was 18 and my brother 13. She was 47. You could live until your 90s. None of us know how long we have. No point dwelling on what you can't change. Just enjoy being a mum and make the most of every day

Like me, many of my family and some friends have become parents in our 40s. Would've liked to have been a bit younger but doesn't always happen that quickly. I will be 70 with a 27.

Captain Tom was 50 when he had his second daughter. Nuff said . Just enjoy your family. None of us know when the bell will toll. I had my son at 32 - And he’s 20, and I look after myself could pass for 40 - health wise - peak. Dw my dad is 92 so do the maths. My much younger mum bailed out when I was 30 - poor health latterly. She had me at 20.

I never really thought of it until my father died at 78 and my mother had an accident and had to go into a home at 76. I was 50 at the time with 12 and 10 year old. I realized the impact that could have. It is what it is and we hope to be healthy for them

I am 70 and I have two children, one is 30 and the other 32. I don't have any grandchildren yet. I don't worry about it.

Sad jenkel. Yes not easy. My dad had massive stroke in his 60s. Died at 76.

I was 43 when I had my daughter and my husband had 3 adult children and was 53. We are incredibly lucky to be in a position where we will be able to retire when she starts primary school next year and both be able to fully parent her without working. My husband built up a successful practice when his adult children were small but as a consequence was unable to spend any time with them due to working constantly. Yes our daughter has older parents but is loved, has our time and I am not spending Saturday nights with her wishing I was out raving with my mates (90’s child)! We have friends who have died due to all sorts of reasons with children of all ages so don't let anyone pass their judgement or “do it my way” onto you (another advantage of being an older parent - you don’t give a flying fuck what other people think of you)!

Oh and I still know which Nine Blazers to buy!!!!

Nike! For me not for her she wears Vans!!!!

Surprised you have never worked that out before op

I'm so glad I started this thread. To all those who say "enjoy your child" ~ thank you - I do

@somewhereoverthechipshop

Surprised you have never worked that out before op

Yawn

I am coming up for 60 and still have my dad. I also knew my great grandfather as well as my grandparents on both sides. I am lucky. My brothers were all late parents and their children have told them that they probably won't live to be grandparents which is true if their children are late parents too. There will be lots of children who have no grandparents due to this trend. I feel sorry for them.

My grandmother was still working part time at 72, and still travelling internationally until her early 80s ( til the SAGA insurance got too expensive!!). She kept busy and active and spent loads of fun time with us even though she was getting on. She lived til 102, so 70 seems quite young in hindsight (and shame on you SAGA!). You can't change it now, so just try to put it to one side.

This reminded me of convo I had with my 11 year old last week. She asked how old I will be when she is 18 and when I told her I will be 40 and her reply was OMG you will be well old then, why didn't you have me sooner!!!

My partner is about to turn 30 and his parents are turning 70. It's sad obviously. He's had the least amount of time with them out of his other siblings and they're getting on now. They've seen all the other grandchildren grow up and they may not get to see ours grow up as their still so young. That's just the tragic reality though, you have kids later in life so you have less time together.

I feel sorry for them

You forgot a

@Fleshmechanic

My partner is about to turn 30 and his parents are turning 70. It's sad obviously. He's had the least amount of time with them out of his other siblings and they're getting on now. They've seen all the other grandchildren grow up and they may not get to see ours grow up as their still so young. That's just the tragic reality though, you have kids later in life so you have less time together.

You must have had a charmed life if having parents turning 70 when you are 30 qualifies as “obviously sad” and “tragic” in your book.

I personally think it’s slightly more challenging for only children if their parents are older, simply because there’s no one else to help out when their parents do need support. I had to help my Dad clear and sell his house with a newborn baby in tow, for example. My DH’s parents are slightly younger and he has several siblings who can pull together if necessary.

Not that siblings are always helpful, though, MN has plenty of threads about that!

Not that siblings are always helpful, though, MN has plenty of threads about that!

So let's keep this thread free of sad-lonely-only bingo ...

Pros and cons. Had my first at 38 and my second is due when I am 40. DP is 7 years older. While our DC won’t have loads of time with their grandparents, they will have lots of time with their cousins and aunts and uncles. And we are so well set up financially compared with 10 years ago so can afford to live in a lovely safe community with brilliant schools, don’t need to work full time so can spend more time with them, take them on amazing holidays, pay for university if they want to go and set them up with a big deposit so they can get on the property ladder. All luxuries but nice to have.