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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour issues!

150 replies

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 08/09/2021 11:13

Morning all.

Our cottage has a front path which runs past our front door and through our garden. It borders the back of some other cottages gardens and the cottage occupants have rights to access the path and use it for taking bins out, access etc. When we moved in we noticed that one cottage had a gate onto the path which was in disrepair, quite low and that their fence was falling down. We knew our dogs would be straight through it so we erected a post and chicken wire fence in our garden which ran alongside the path on our side. We can get onto the path via a gate and the neighbours have uninterrupted access to the path. We even placed the fence a foot or so further away from the path so that the access was wider than the path to make it easier to use.

Yesterday the neighbours called me over while I was outside. They have asked us to move the fence so that it runs further along, so they can more easily access their fence if the want to repair it. I agreed to this straight away, I have in no way been difficult about their access.

They have recently removed their hedge so that their garden now completely overlooks the path and our garden. The neighbours proceeded to point out that now the hedge is gone, our garden is their view, and that they would appreciate it if we could keep their view tidier. Specific things were pointed out such as a compost bag, a child's plastic chair that looked "dumped", some dogs toys and a bag of garden rubbish Id bagged up but not taken round to the bin yet. I was asked why we don't use the old green house which is a storage space and not used for growing (we have a larger one round the back of the garden!) and generally expected to hop to it and tidy up. The female neighbour "joked" that she would be doing an inspection later to check if I'd picked everything up.

I want to stress that these items were not up against the path, but in our garden. We generally keep the house and garden visitor ready but not immaculate as we are busy, and have a take us as you find us approach to visitors who pop round. We have livestock, DCs, dogs and both work/study full time. Our gardens are tidy and mowed but will inevitably have children's toys, feed sacks, hay and dog toys around.

So wwyd? DH wants to erect a solid fence pronto. I am avoiding going out there whilst also being tempted to pile up a load of pallets round there for storage and "accidentally" block their view!

There were also comments made about our dogs, chickens and ducks but as the birds are kept on part of our land that is not within sight of their "view" and a good distance away from them (nearly an acre) I'm inclined to ignore that. We aren't noisy or difficult neighbours and have always been very accommodating but this seems incredibly cheeky. Her justification for the request to keep the garden tidy was based on the fact that we "have all space" whilst they "only have this little bit". They are retired and sitting outside a lot at the moment with the nice weather so I'm hoping for rain soon!

Thoughts? Advice? How would you handle this? I will provide a diagram if requested 😁

OP posts:
DroopyClematis · 08/09/2021 11:17

Id be inclined to carry on regardless and if they don't like the view then they can grow another hedge or put up their own fence.

PTW1234 · 08/09/2021 11:17

I would put up a solid fence, I would not like neighbours overlooking my garden like that it’s a breach of your privacy.

I would also be petty enough to just fence where there hedge used to be (on my own land of course)

EvilPea · 08/09/2021 11:19

Yeah. Dh is right, fence it is.
As fun as it is to put stupid gnomes out etc the games will soon wear thin. You want to have your garden how it is without judgement or worries about if anyone’s goldfish bowling you.

RocketPanda · 08/09/2021 11:23

Good fences make good neighbours. I wouldn't be able to relax in my garden if Mr and Mrs Busybody were looking in. Luckily my only neighbours are cows and donkeys.

TaraR2020 · 08/09/2021 11:25

I'd put up a fence at the boundary - no more of this leaving extra space to make the path wider for comfort. If you're not careful you'll lose the land.

The neighbours in question are CF.

TheChiefJo · 08/09/2021 11:26

I'd ignore their requests and do your thing (DH fence idea is good) in your own time. I wouldn't fall out with them, I'd just adopt a smile and nod policy.

averylongtimeago · 08/09/2021 11:27

@RocketPanda

Good fences make good neighbours. I wouldn't be able to relax in my garden if Mr and Mrs Busybody were looking in. Luckily my only neighbours are cows and donkeys.
Rocket has got it in one. Good fences make good neighbours. Get a good high solid fence up- right up to your boundary, none of that making the path wider or you will find part of your garden has been claimed as "theirs".
averylongtimeago · 08/09/2021 11:29

And yes please for a diagram! It's the lawGrin

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 08/09/2021 11:32

However, how you’ve mentioned chickens, they have to be included in the diagram too Grin

Notaroadrunner · 08/09/2021 11:33

Put up a 6ft fence, if you can afford it, for the sake of your own privacy - not theirs. And I agree that it needs to be placed on the boundary, not as much as an inch less.

Rollercoaster1920 · 08/09/2021 11:33

You should have asked them to put the hedge back so they weren't spoiling your view!

santaslittlehohoho · 08/09/2021 11:34

Definitely a fence!! And right up to your boundary otherwise they'll encroach - already shown themselves to be CF.

FairFuming · 08/09/2021 11:37

Its time that you and your DH make friends with your local nudist community and invite them all round for a (front) garden party.

FannyBrice · 08/09/2021 11:40

Do nothing. If they continue to pass comments I'd tell them that you were considering getting a tall fence. I bet they'll soon back down
They chose to remove their hedge, that's their prerogative but they can't dictate how 'tidy' they want your garden to be
I'd probably tell them that too

Horst · 08/09/2021 11:41

Fence it and move your fence to the boundary otherwise you face losing that land too.

Or move your chicken wire fence back to the boundary and erect a shed that just happens to be the same length or width as the end of their garden that over looks you, you know storage so you can use your green house Wink

StaceysmomandIhavegotitgoinon · 08/09/2021 11:43

Tell them to look the other way so. Cheeky feckers.

Also before you do this we need the diagram.

LuaDipa · 08/09/2021 11:45

I’d be whacking that fence up pronto.

And while it’s nice to be neighbourly, they have no right to dictate how you keep your garden.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/09/2021 11:46

Thoughts? Advice? How would you handle this? Take away anything and everything you have done to make her life easier; reinstate the original boundary, quickly; demand she reinstate her boundary and tell her to piss off!

Chloemol · 08/09/2021 11:48

Just carry on as you are. If they complain tell them a view is not a right, and in fact you are not happy that your own privacy has been lost

You will put what you want in the garden, and in fact are now thinking about a six foot fence so you are no l9nger overlooked

Personally I am with your dh and would be putting a solid 6 foot fence up, trellis on top of that arms growing clematis up it,

WhyMeLord · 08/09/2021 11:48

I'd buy a hot tub and stick it in the middle of their 'view' and introduce naked Sundays, get the whole family involved

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 08/09/2021 11:50

Point out they chose to take the fence down and if usual garden 'stuff' offends then so much, they're welcome to erect a 6 foot fence...

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/09/2021 11:50

Oh! Let your DH put up his fence... along her boundary only, leave all the rest as it is. She can look at that view.

I can be petty, mind!

Pipsquiggle · 08/09/2021 12:07

Obviously a diagram is needed.

They are CF. Smile and nod. They were the ones that decided to cut the hedge down so it is their problem. If they keep making comments, point this out to them.

PegasusReturns · 08/09/2021 12:12

Just put up a fence. No one needs the stress of a tidy garden monitor

FrenchBoule · 08/09/2021 12:14

I’m with your DH.Fence straight away.

Your neighbour is an interfering cow.

Until the fence goes up get yourself this gnome.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00CWK2G4Y?psc=1&linkCode=gs2&th=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21