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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour issues!

150 replies

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 08/09/2021 11:13

Morning all.

Our cottage has a front path which runs past our front door and through our garden. It borders the back of some other cottages gardens and the cottage occupants have rights to access the path and use it for taking bins out, access etc. When we moved in we noticed that one cottage had a gate onto the path which was in disrepair, quite low and that their fence was falling down. We knew our dogs would be straight through it so we erected a post and chicken wire fence in our garden which ran alongside the path on our side. We can get onto the path via a gate and the neighbours have uninterrupted access to the path. We even placed the fence a foot or so further away from the path so that the access was wider than the path to make it easier to use.

Yesterday the neighbours called me over while I was outside. They have asked us to move the fence so that it runs further along, so they can more easily access their fence if the want to repair it. I agreed to this straight away, I have in no way been difficult about their access.

They have recently removed their hedge so that their garden now completely overlooks the path and our garden. The neighbours proceeded to point out that now the hedge is gone, our garden is their view, and that they would appreciate it if we could keep their view tidier. Specific things were pointed out such as a compost bag, a child's plastic chair that looked "dumped", some dogs toys and a bag of garden rubbish Id bagged up but not taken round to the bin yet. I was asked why we don't use the old green house which is a storage space and not used for growing (we have a larger one round the back of the garden!) and generally expected to hop to it and tidy up. The female neighbour "joked" that she would be doing an inspection later to check if I'd picked everything up.

I want to stress that these items were not up against the path, but in our garden. We generally keep the house and garden visitor ready but not immaculate as we are busy, and have a take us as you find us approach to visitors who pop round. We have livestock, DCs, dogs and both work/study full time. Our gardens are tidy and mowed but will inevitably have children's toys, feed sacks, hay and dog toys around.

So wwyd? DH wants to erect a solid fence pronto. I am avoiding going out there whilst also being tempted to pile up a load of pallets round there for storage and "accidentally" block their view!

There were also comments made about our dogs, chickens and ducks but as the birds are kept on part of our land that is not within sight of their "view" and a good distance away from them (nearly an acre) I'm inclined to ignore that. We aren't noisy or difficult neighbours and have always been very accommodating but this seems incredibly cheeky. Her justification for the request to keep the garden tidy was based on the fact that we "have all space" whilst they "only have this little bit". They are retired and sitting outside a lot at the moment with the nice weather so I'm hoping for rain soon!

Thoughts? Advice? How would you handle this? I will provide a diagram if requested 😁

OP posts:
EL8888 · 08/09/2021 12:18

Another vote to maintain your boundary. But they don't get to specify what you do and don't have in your garden Confused
None of their business at all, CF's on the escalation

Seesawmummadaw · 08/09/2021 12:24

Point out that they’ve ruined your view and ask them what they are going to do to fix it. Tell them you’ll be out to check later.

Flickeringgreenlight · 08/09/2021 12:29

What the actual?? If the view bothers her, she can erect her own bloody fence. That's exactly I'd be telling her, in a very respectful manner. Cheeky cow! Absolutely no way I'd even entertain another conversation about this any further. I doubt your garden is in a state but let's be honest, retired people have all the time in the world to keep their houses and gardens immaculate if that's what they wish to spend their time on. Working families not so much. My retired neighbour is out weeding every other day so their garden is pristine. I'm lucky if I get a chance once a month!!

PatsyJStone · 08/09/2021 12:41

Firstly if they don’t have much space they have the option to move and get more outdoor space. You could mention that, as you yourself have done so in buying your house.
If she says anything again I’d point out that you are a busy family, this is how you live, and it is not unreasonable. The comments regarding tidying are rude and that as this seems to be an issue you will seek to sort it out so that they don’t suffer with a poor view. If they ask what, tell them a fence, and that their rude comments have made you decide this course of action is the only way forward, as you want to live your life your way. Not the way they would like it. With a flick of your hair turn and walk off.
Make sure you don’t do any favours with boundaries and access that could allow any of the neighbours to encroach on your land. That just gives potential for further disputes in the future.

ShrimpBarbarian · 08/09/2021 12:42

The neighbours proceeded to point out that now the hedge is gone, our garden is their view, and that they would appreciate it if we could keep
their view tidier.

they paying for it to be tidier? they own your garden? no? fuck off

SirChenjins · 08/09/2021 12:45

Your DH is right - solid fence it is. CFs of the highest order.

Gimlisaxe · 08/09/2021 12:48

The female neighbour "joked" that she would be doing an inspection later to check if I'd picked everything up.

Thats nice but I have shit to do

our garden is their view, and that they would appreciate it if we could keep their view tidier

I am not happy you have taken away my privacy. You don't own a view

So wwyd? DH wants to erect a solid fence pronto

I would get the fence, making sure its on my property line and if they say anything, again about the fact that you have all the space, I would say they are welcome to move to get move outdoor space.

I would also smile everytime

Cattitudes · 08/09/2021 12:49

I would be torn between a large fence/ fast growing hedge and having fun decorating their view with inappropriate items!

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/09/2021 12:51

I'm with your DH, fence.

PersonaNonGarter · 08/09/2021 12:53

Solid fence on the boundary.

They believe themselves entitled to your space and you need to react firmly.

tempchecked · 08/09/2021 12:57

Ah, the garden police are active here! They have some neck.

Ignore or nod and smile. I would have a fence put up on my side immediately, as I would absolutely hate to have nosey interfering people like that watching me and commenting on my every move. Nope, they will bite off their nose to spite their face.

I cannot believe that someone would dictate how you live your lives and watch your garden like a hawk. Big Fence Now.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 08/09/2021 12:57

I agree with the fence idea.
If you start tidying they’ll always find things to criticize and it will never end.

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 08/09/2021 13:01

I'm loving the idea of joining the local nudist society but knowing my luck they'd probably turn out to be part of it and then I'd have to deal with a naked interfering neighbour 😁

Fence it is. DH is measuring up later so we can call round for some prices. In the meantime I've tidied the rubbish she pointed out but will be encouraging the DC to keep their garden toys round there for now, to make the point that we do use that part of the garden and it isn't theirs to monitor. I've also been a bit slow calling the dogs in when they've been out patrolling the perimeter, as they mentioned they weren't overly keen on the dogs.

PP comments about them ruining over view too are spot on. We previously had the benefit of a beautiful mature honeysuckle that was full of bees, birds and looked gorgeous. We now have a view of their pants swinging on a washing line which is less picturesque.

And I wholeheartedly agree with the poster who mentioned that the size of their garden is not our problem. They can bloody well move if it's that much of an issue, it seems ridiculous to resent our space and how we use it.

OP posts:
LemonFantaGin · 08/09/2021 13:03

I agree with a solid fence, if the request has already started imagine what it will be like in a years time, it will sour relations.

tempchecked · 08/09/2021 13:05

OP, please let us know how the neighbour reacts to your fence. Be interesting to see what happens.

Here's to having your privacy back and giving a clear signal to neighbour too.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 08/09/2021 13:09

Fence bit I would dump everything on my garden and have it as untidy as possible until the fence is up
CF

TwoLeftElbows · 08/09/2021 13:10

I think your husband is right on the fence but it's quite important you let them know before the work starts. I would wait until they approach you again about the stuff in your own garden(!) and let them know you will putting a fence up, citing privacy. And mention that it'll need to be on the boundary. The more they object, the more you say the word "privacy". Be a broken record, don't try different ways to convince them.

I really wouldn't budge on it being on the boundary. They will hate it, but most people's brains reacts badly to change and they will probably calm down over time. You can say thing like it was fine when the hedge was there, and you could consider whether you'd be prepared to compromise with a new hedge, or willow wall or something. See what they come back with when the alternative is a solid fence. But don't feel obliged to compromise for their sake, remember how they treated you.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 08/09/2021 13:16

Imo tidying up is a mistake and they will be encouraged to make even more unreasonable demands.
You should have dumped more stuff in the garden

Beautiful3 · 08/09/2021 13:24

They removed a hedge and don't like their view looking into your garden!!! Thats so funny. If ignore them. If they ask, just say its my garden, I can do what I want and ignore them!! What a cheek!

LongTimeMammaBear · 08/09/2021 13:25

In addition to the fence, I’d be planting anther honey suckle.

Having a bit of a chuckle here. We have new neighbours. All neighbours along our street had leylandi across the back of the garden. No one from the street behind could see our houses and vice versa. All have very long gardens. NDN also had mature beautiful trees so we had very private garden. Trees full of birds.

They took out all the trees. Completely stripped the garden of everything. Only grass. Neighbours behind them have now planted leylandi their side. Yeah. In a few years we will get back that privacy. If I could find any gardeners who’d actually come quote for work, I’d have planted trees my side to get back some privacy as I do use the end of my garden regularly with a purpose built seating area and pergola, now overlooked.

Cocolapew · 08/09/2021 13:27

I would do fuck all, they can pay for a fence if it annoys them that much
Actually I'm a liar, I'd put more stuff out but I'm very petty.

GunsNShips · 08/09/2021 13:30

Other than wondering why it should cost you a single penny when they have caused the issue, the thing that concerns me re the fence, is does that effectively cut off your access to your own path? Would that affect your right to the land at some point in the future?

I really do need that diagram Wink

aloris · 08/09/2021 13:31

I'm just here for the diagram.

MattHancocksSexTape · 08/09/2021 13:33

So you’ve tidied up for them…. So they’ve won.

tabulahrasa · 08/09/2021 13:49

I’d be getting an old mattress and some tyres and putting them out there...if I could get one a washing machine too, just really make it a mess.

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