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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour issues!

150 replies

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 08/09/2021 11:13

Morning all.

Our cottage has a front path which runs past our front door and through our garden. It borders the back of some other cottages gardens and the cottage occupants have rights to access the path and use it for taking bins out, access etc. When we moved in we noticed that one cottage had a gate onto the path which was in disrepair, quite low and that their fence was falling down. We knew our dogs would be straight through it so we erected a post and chicken wire fence in our garden which ran alongside the path on our side. We can get onto the path via a gate and the neighbours have uninterrupted access to the path. We even placed the fence a foot or so further away from the path so that the access was wider than the path to make it easier to use.

Yesterday the neighbours called me over while I was outside. They have asked us to move the fence so that it runs further along, so they can more easily access their fence if the want to repair it. I agreed to this straight away, I have in no way been difficult about their access.

They have recently removed their hedge so that their garden now completely overlooks the path and our garden. The neighbours proceeded to point out that now the hedge is gone, our garden is their view, and that they would appreciate it if we could keep their view tidier. Specific things were pointed out such as a compost bag, a child's plastic chair that looked "dumped", some dogs toys and a bag of garden rubbish Id bagged up but not taken round to the bin yet. I was asked why we don't use the old green house which is a storage space and not used for growing (we have a larger one round the back of the garden!) and generally expected to hop to it and tidy up. The female neighbour "joked" that she would be doing an inspection later to check if I'd picked everything up.

I want to stress that these items were not up against the path, but in our garden. We generally keep the house and garden visitor ready but not immaculate as we are busy, and have a take us as you find us approach to visitors who pop round. We have livestock, DCs, dogs and both work/study full time. Our gardens are tidy and mowed but will inevitably have children's toys, feed sacks, hay and dog toys around.

So wwyd? DH wants to erect a solid fence pronto. I am avoiding going out there whilst also being tempted to pile up a load of pallets round there for storage and "accidentally" block their view!

There were also comments made about our dogs, chickens and ducks but as the birds are kept on part of our land that is not within sight of their "view" and a good distance away from them (nearly an acre) I'm inclined to ignore that. We aren't noisy or difficult neighbours and have always been very accommodating but this seems incredibly cheeky. Her justification for the request to keep the garden tidy was based on the fact that we "have all space" whilst they "only have this little bit". They are retired and sitting outside a lot at the moment with the nice weather so I'm hoping for rain soon!

Thoughts? Advice? How would you handle this? I will provide a diagram if requested 😁

OP posts:
TonytheDog · 08/09/2021 15:06

I'd start piling up as much (dry) wood as possible to have a lovely bonfire but it might take you a while to gather it all into an untidy heap. I'd also add a washing line and hang all your household's pants on it.
Then put up a fence, give them the ugly side.

TonytheDog · 08/09/2021 15:08

Could you borrow some pigs too so they make it all lovely and muddy.

LakieLady · 08/09/2021 15:10

@MummyMummy01

There's a shortage of new fencing. You will need to use old doors various colours and stylesWink
Good call!

Add some old pallets for a bit of textural variety.

trumpisagit · 08/09/2021 15:23

I would make their view as naturally messy as possible in the short term.
Maybe they will put their fence back up?

LookItsMeAgain · 08/09/2021 15:25

If they comment again, just say "Well I had a lovely view of a honeysuckle hedge and it was so good for the wildlife and bees around here. I now have a view of people's washing including their not so smalls drying on their lines so, we all have our hardships".

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 08/09/2021 15:25

I bet they knew what they were doing when they removed the hedge... 6 foot fence. With bare arsed gnomes on every post facing their way...

TheSpottedZebra · 08/09/2021 15:52

Maud DOES look happy.

I don't think she'd be as happy with a fence, but she's clucking delightedly at the thought of the bath ducks.

averylongtimeago · 08/09/2021 16:06

Having studied your excellent diagram, I would put your fence along the actual boundary of your land, leaving the chicken wire to fence the path from the rest of your garden.

This would be dual purpose: it would reinforce where your boundary actually is (you don't want the path to suddenly become "communal" ) and it would block their view.

Sugarandtime · 08/09/2021 16:11

When you get the new fence, make sure to give yourselves the ‘good’ side card your neighbours the ugly side.

Hawkins001 · 08/09/2021 16:14

Offer to put a higher fence up, if they cover the costs. Or they could offer their help to assist with the maintenance of the garden

Bargebill19 · 08/09/2021 16:16

If I didn’t have the money I would carry on as is. They don’t own your garden or the new view they have made for themselves.
I do like your dh solution, and funds permitting, that would be my ultimate goal… but it would be put up right on my boundary so as not to lose any ground. (Later sales problems).
I do like the idea of a pallet fence, but suspect it wouldn’t be high enough.
I would not negotiate with them. They have chosen to be annoying/awkward/demanding so tough.

Bargebill19 · 08/09/2021 16:20

Just seen you own the path. I would be putting up a sign on your new fence to the effect of, this is a permissive path only to cottages xyz. Please do not store items on it or block access. Kind regards abc cottage.

Make it very clear who owns it.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 08/09/2021 16:29

I was tempted to say you should put the fence along the far side of the path, but then remembered there'salready a fence there.

I'm not sure I'd put a huge fence your side though as it takes the path away from you. Personally I think I'd do nothing. They caused the issue by removing their hedge.

LaBellina · 08/09/2021 16:31

Fence it. Create as much distance possible between your home and these massively entitled twats.

simitra · 08/09/2021 16:38

Another vote for a fence as high as your local regulations permit - prefereably with lockable gate so you can keep your CF neighbours out!

It would be a cold day in hell before I would do anything to tidy up for a CF NDN. I would tell them "well I lead a busy family life but as you clearly have nothing to do all day but sit on your lazy fat ass admiring the view you can come along and tidy it up for me."

What a pity we dont have a neighbour hunting season.

HannaHanna · 08/09/2021 16:57

“I wonder why you removed your hedge if you did not want to look at our garden?”

Seashell1234 · 08/09/2021 16:59

Fence it. They won't get better.
I love the idea of then putting more honeysuckle up, your side of the fence.

cakewench · 08/09/2021 18:52

That diagram is splendid, as is the drawing of Maude. I am even more on your side than I was at first, somehow.

I do hope there is a fence followup

WhenwillSleephappen · 08/09/2021 18:57

Could you put a massive shed there? To keep the clutter contained, of course Wink
That will stop their “view” of your garden and the chicken wire fence can stay up to remind people where the path is.

Or 6 foot fence on the boundary & chicken wire to show where path is,

SirChenjins · 08/09/2021 18:58

Oooh - you’re very artistic OP 🙌👏

Keeva2017 · 08/09/2021 19:00

Just here to show appreciation for @WhyMeLord ‘s comment.

YorkshireLass2012 · 08/09/2021 19:00

The neighbours decided to take their hedge down and change their view. You can do whatever you like in your own garden (within legal limits) so carry on as now. If it comes up again, tell them to jog on.

Westerman · 08/09/2021 19:07

While I'd love you to send a sarky reply, I think you should just get a fence up pronto and make sure it goes up right at the edge of your boundary. Being a good neighbour is fine, but they didn't reciprocate.

I hope your new fence blocks out the sun for them. And I still want them to get a sharp retort.

bicarbonateofcherrysoda · 08/09/2021 19:15

I think the path would love lovely with a large wooden archway that covers all but a gate sized gap of their back garden.

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/09/2021 19:19

Great diagram!

I have a couple of fencing suggestions....

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