Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just sack off this weekend

232 replies

TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 06:46

Don't want to post too much as outing, but if you were due to go on a weekend away on Friday and still no arrangements had been made regarding leaving time, travel, food or sleeping arrangements would you bother?

Despite asking repeatedly I'm just getting nowhere.

I do suffer with anxiety and need a plan to work to, I need to be organised.

Would you just stay home?

OP posts:
Jemand · 07/09/2021 18:54

I know you like to know what you'll be doing, but seriously does it make any difference to you whether you know tonight or Thursday night? You know roughly how long the journey will take, and shopping won't take more than an hour at most.

HugeAckmansWife · 07/09/2021 18:56

I'm sorry but I do think YABU here. So if you get the postcode tomorrow what are you actually going to do with that info before Friday morning? I assume you know the county / Town it's in so you know the approximate route. Leave food to others or pack a bag full of snacks, bread, bacon etc. Stuff you can make do with. This is all assuming you really want to go and wouldnt rather secretly stay home. Which is fine, but be honest.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/09/2021 18:56

I totally relate anxiety wise but I do think saying you are not coming when you have actually told them your issue or attempted to get anything organised yourself is unfair.

As far as they know you are happily bobbing along like they are knowing it will come together at some point over the next few days, when actually you’re struggling and would just like some things sorted.

I think you really need to articulate that to them.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 07/09/2021 18:57

Blimey OP, it’s Tuesday - you’ve got a whole 2 more days to plan the route, get to the supermarket etc.

Also, I’m confused why there is a ‘check in time’ when you’re going to stay at a friends house.

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2021 19:05

@TomAllenWife

Yes the 4th person is the cottage owner Obvs she knows where her cottage is but I haven't been given any details

One of the group did discuss briefly this week that they'd like to go out Friday evening and I replied saying was happy with that
But nothing since

Stop messaging then and just phone the cottage owner.

Get the postcode, Google the nearest supermarket and then tell the others the time and route you've planned.

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 19:20

Just as an aside, ive just arranged a nite out with my friend on 8th October WhatsApp convo was a bit like this:

Daytime or nighttime drinks - day until we can't go on
Town or not town - town
Are we on it - yes
Wagamama - probs

It's that simple, and that's a month away

OP posts:
notanotherjacketpotato · 07/09/2021 20:20

@TomAllenWife

Just as an aside, ive just arranged a nite out with my friend on 8th October WhatsApp convo was a bit like this:

Daytime or nighttime drinks - day until we can't go on
Town or not town - town
Are we on it - yes
Wagamama - probs

It's that simple, and that's a month away

In her you've found someone just like you. But it's absolutely the exception rather than the rule. I think most people would have stopped at say or night time then planned the rest a day or two beforehand
HugeAckmansWife · 07/09/2021 20:20

but that's also pretty vague. Its not an exact time or definite plan.

sillysmiles · 07/09/2021 20:30

Have you picked up the phone and spoken to someone?

Gladioli23 · 07/09/2021 20:39

It sounds massively flouncy honestly.

Can you not say something along the lines of "for the sake of my nerves, do you mind if we make a bit more of a plan - I need to know what I'm doing or I'll be worrying. If someone lets me know the postcode and address I can find s supermarket/book a supermarket delivery and get my route planned"

hopeishere · 07/09/2021 21:05

Why are you checking into someone's house??

Do you want a plan for the full weekend or just the drive down. Can you not just go with the flow.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/09/2021 21:12

@TomAllenWife

Just as an aside, ive just arranged a nite out with my friend on 8th October WhatsApp convo was a bit like this:

Daytime or nighttime drinks - day until we can't go on
Town or not town - town
Are we on it - yes
Wagamama - probs

It's that simple, and that's a month away

Two people is much easier to organise than 4, especially one day meet up vs going away. There’s literally less of everything involved.

How many of the decisions for the meet up with this friend did you choose? I can’t help but wonder who lead the planning in that situation.

RampantIvy · 07/09/2021 21:21

But why would the cottage owner ignore the OP's request for her address? Her evasiveness is a bit odd don't you think?

Mindyourbusiness22 · 07/09/2021 21:21

@TomAllenWife

So still no postcode or idea of check in time

I said I was happy to eat out Friday and be flexible Saturday
1 person said 'I'm happy whatever'

I've really had enough now, I don't mind driving anywhere and that's not the anxiety.
I like to know what I'm doing and when and where I'm doing it. I don't think that's to much to ask

I can make plans with DP and then have a nite in on Saturday

On the other hand I feel a bit flouncy saying 'we'll no one has given me any information so I won't be coming'

I'll give it until the morning then I'm out

Have you actually told your friends you need a plan?

I don’t understand why if you need it if you’ve not made one.

I think for your sanity it would be best to say you weren’t going anymore.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 07/09/2021 21:24

@RampantIvy

But why would the cottage owner ignore the OP's request for her address? Her evasiveness is a bit odd don't you think?
She’s probably read it, busy, realises it’s Tuesday, and will think no more of sending it the day before or on the day of the journey because what difference does it make?!
BarbaraofSeville · 07/09/2021 21:26

But surely you know you're going to Blackpool/Brighton/Bridlington?

It is a bit flouncy to say you're not going just because no-one's given you the exact destination 3 days ahead.

I wouldn't start threatening to not go unless there's no address and set off time by Thursday evening.

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I once went to work and was told to drive to a city 200 miles away that afternoon. They couldn't tell me where exactly I was going except I had to set off and they would send a precise destination by text a couple of hours after I'd set off. If someone told me I was driving 2 hours some time on Friday, I wouldn't start thinking about the detail until Weds or Thursday anyway.

Erwhatno · 07/09/2021 21:47

May be a good opportunity to start developing some spontaneity op!

RampantIvy · 07/09/2021 22:00

She’s probably read it, busy, realises it’s Tuesday, and will think no more of sending it the day before or on the day of the journey because what difference does it make?!

Well, it clearly makes a difference to the OP. It takes seconds to write down a postcode, so the "busy" excuse is rather weak.

hopeishere · 09/09/2021 13:47

Any update @TomAllenWife are you still going??

notanotherjacketpotato · 09/09/2021 14:17

Oh yes what's happening? Do we know where it is yet?

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 09/09/2021 15:53

Well I know the town!

But no postcode, no leaving time arrangements. I've done some food shopping and they said 'sounds lovely'

So I've asked again today what time we're leaving, the person I was driving is now not coming, but no reply

OP posts:
ohthatbloodycat · 09/09/2021 15:56

Don't be a bore! Either step up and coordinate some plans, or simply tell the others what you plan to do.
I'm sure you'll have a great time when there Smile

myotherusernameistaken · 09/09/2021 16:26

Well I know the town!

So when you asked specifically for the postcode they just replied with the name of the town?

That's just weird.

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 09/09/2021 16:32

She said I'll get you the postcode tomorrow - that was Tuesday

But she did say it's in ***

OP posts:
Droite · 09/09/2021 16:39

So I've asked again today what time we're leaving, the person I was driving is now not coming, but no reply

Doesn't that simplify matters? You can just leave when you want and make arrangements to pick up the keys if you get there first.

Swipe left for the next trending thread