To say being late all the time isn't a trait you are just rude

[username4s]

AIBU to thinks it's not funny. it's plain rude and shows a lack of respect for the other person?

I often see/hear about people who are always late and it's as if it's just a funny trait of theirs. I don't agree it's shows a lack of care for other peoples time. Are these same people always late for work/school runs/other important commitments or do they suddenly manage to organise themselves and be on time.

@UserNameNameNameUser

YABVU

Poor neurotypical people unable to understand what having an executive function disorder is like.

Must be hard.

It’s not just that though, is it? Everyone has their own lives, everyone has their own commitments. Being neurotypical doesn’t mean you have unlimited time/energy/patience to wait about for people who are late. There have been numerous examples given of ‘friends’ who are late for no reason other than they didn’t give themselves enough time to be there - these are the people this thread is aimed at.

IWantT0BreakFree

The thing is that anyone can claim to struggle with this.

I started organising meeting with them at places where after 3 hours of being there by myself or with my partner I/we could go home, or watch a movie and go home.

Because on one memorable occasion not only had we managed to have a meal but watch a movie in a cinema and still met them in the foyer as they arrived.

They then complained that we had to leave as I had a late shift to go to.

@manipulatrice

Someone explain to me, in detail, how you can be "shit at timekeeping"

How?

How can someone be shit at maths?

YANBU. I had (notice I say “had”) a friend who was ALWAYS late. I found it infuriating, but most people thought she was fabulous and oh so funny.

She was even late to my hen weekend, she was in the same car as me so made me late as well

And I also know that this is something that posters won't see eye to eye on.

@AntiSocialDistancer

You can't blame maths for being late. It isn't a complicated equation.

Time management is a skill and no matter how much I practice I just mostly can't get it right. Like many skills, some people are better at it than others. It isn't always about you.

Clearly it’s then all about you then.

Your examples are all things that you control but actively choose not to.
So don’t have a drink just before you leave precisely so you don’t throw it down yourself.
You don’t wear tights that might snag and if you must, knowing they are prone to ladder, you have a back up plan.
I like just about every other adult occasionally can’t find my keys. The difference is I haven’t left it until I’m walking out the door to find them.
I factor in 5 minutes extra for traffic or half an hour if it’s somewhere new that I don’t know where I can park.

It’s the flip side of the coin to procrastination.For whatever reason you choose not to think about how you can leave and arrive on time.

To be fair the people I know who are late all the time are late even for important stuff (work etc). Even though it causes them loads of stress, always late.

Drives me mad.

I have a friend who revels in her continual lateness - like some on this thread she seems almost proud that she can never be on time.

I’ve finally decided to do something about it.

Am I the only person on Planet Mumsnet for whom punctuality, or lack there of is not a problem?
I find people who turn up early very rude, whereas turning up late is good for me.
Anyway, it’s only been since the invention of railway timetables in the Victorian era that the rigid time rules have been in place.
And no, imho being late is not an expression of rudeness. But it can be a symptom f underlying problems such as dyspraxia and ADHD.

[quote manipulatrice]@AntiSocialDistancer

You can't blame maths for being late. It isn't a complicated equation. [/quote]
Well, it was an analogy, like people can't help what they have a natural proclivity to.

Having said that, if you don't understand how being shit at maths means people also struggle to estimate time aka the amount of minutes, add up journey times plus add ons etc. I can't help you!

My absolute pet hate. So unbelievably rude. They think their time is more important than others

@Ionlydomassiveones

I hate the wasted time that is ‘being early’ - so I always aim for ‘on time’. Sometimes shit happens and on time becomes late. Unless it’s a really important thing or there are serious consequences to being late I frankly don’t give a shit.

So if you leave a friend sat in a pub or the like waiting for you then you don’t give a shit? Do you even have the grace to apologise?

@shesellsseacats

Yes you are being a sanctimonious arse - you are judging others who you leave in the frigging lurch because you have prioritised yourself and made excuses for your lateness (and not even acknowledged how those who are on time feel to be constantly left hanging)

It is not about ADHS - so don't make that a thing. What about those with ADHS who are there early?

Absolutely selfish behaviour in my opinion - yes you can do Something about it (not a 100% solution - but at least make the effort and try and empathise with those who are opposite to you)

I hate being late, and all of the occasions I’ve ever been late have been because of public transport, 3 occasions my bus broke down. I all ways leave plenty of time. I don’t mind other being late as long as they don’t take the piss and Turn up like 2 hours, I won’t be there still if that’s the case. I’d rather be early than late... I wouldn’t go as far to say it’s always disrespectful as most times Life can get in the way.... you can’t help it...

@UserNameNameNameUser

YABVU

Poor neurotypical people unable to understand what having an executive function disorder is like.

Must be hard.

Or a parent of a non NT child who gets pissed off how often those conditions are used as an excuse for such behaviour.

Which then feeds into a narrative of low expectations for such children.

Anyone posting on here by definition is reasonably high functioning and as such is capable of looking into coping strategies to manage their diagnosis.

If DH and I had listened to what DS probably would find hard to accomplish and just said "oh well it's because he isn't NT" he wouldn't be starting a degree at a top U.K. university in October.

He's had to learn ways to both overcome and embrace his non NT brain and it's absolutely both a blessing and curse.

He can do things that leave me in awe wrt his mental dexterity and a second later struggle to do something ridiculously simple.

For the latter we've always focused on how we can find ways to make those actions/tasks achievable and not just brushed them off as an inevitable burden.

[quote manipulatrice]@AntiSocialDistancer I'm not sure I want your help if you can't work out simple maths 🤣

Piss poor excuse, try again. [/quote]
Here is the real crux of the matter - people being unkind to those who have learning difficulties.

What a time to be alive

And don't get me started on people who are late to work which is usually every single day. Winds me up so much that they get paid same amount as me.

He's learned to work backwards from when he is meant to arrive and plan all the steps and time required (plus adding some contingency).

Isn’t that what everyone does?

Oh my god I had a friend like this. Emphasis on the had. I see a few on this thread have gone NC with former friends.
In this case she was a major narc, and lateness was just one of her things that showed her arrogance

Time-blindness is a very real thing.

@EastWestWhosBest

He's learned to work backwards from when he is meant to arrive and plan all the steps and time required (plus adding some contingency).

Isn’t that what everyone does?

Yes, that's pretty much how it works...

@GreyhoundG1rl

Jesus, telling the time on a clockface and doing simple counting can hardly be described as "maths"! Yes, there are numbers involved, but there the resemblance ends 😂

dyslexiaoctopus.com/3-tips-for-teaching-the-time/