Is this CF’ery or am I just a mean spirited old grump.

[Missymisenthrope]

I’ve lost perspective on this so am hoping you’ll all put me straight. I live on a street that leads down to a train station and is close to town so residents require parking permits. We can also pay extra (£12 per year) for a visitors permit. My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago and since then they have borrowed my visitors permit EVERY single time they have visitors, which is most weekends. I live alone and they are a family with small children, they get a lot more visitors than me. I’ve made the odd comment about getting their own permit but they always laugh it off with things like ‘oh I know, we’re terrible with admin’ etc. I know for a fact it’s not a question of money for them, I think they just can’t be bothered when they can use mine all the time. Incidentally, they very often knock the door for me to ‘lend’ them milk/sugar/store cupboard ingredients. It’s really getting to the point where I feel like refusing to lend it to them anymore because I feel resentful about it. Is that silly?
My question is, AIBU to feel this is cheeky or am I just being a mean spirited cow? If I’m not using it what’s the problem etc.

I got so hacked off with mine not bothering to buy regular household items that when I was in B&M once I bought a £1.50 mop bucket, a £4 sweeping brush and some other random kitchen item they were always wanting to borrow. It was a cheat but it was well worth it for less than a tenner. I've also bought new items for myself and given them the ones they were constantly borrowing. (CHEAP or old tart stuff only, I'm a wuss but not rich) Crazy.

Am I the only one thinking just don’t tell them if you ever buy a house in Mexico?

You’re not being mean spirited-just fed up of being used. I’d like to think we’d all help our neighbours but not to the extent where they take the piss. If I borrow something like sugar, I just get them a new bag. The permit issue would really get to me and I’d just tell them I’d mislaid it or someone hasn’t returned it.

When they had been in about 6 months they asked for my Netflix log in (they knew I had it because I mentioned something I’d been watching

Good Lord! How have you put up with such free loaders? You are a saint, and far too nice @Missymisenthrope Not a grump at all - quite the opposite.

I also can’t believe that filling in forms once for a permit isn’t easier than constantly calling at the neighbours to borrow it?

My guess is they have a permit. But multiple cars visiting,

For £12 I would give them one for christmas so they get the hint and then they can replace it each year. Next time they ask for milk say you ran out too can they pick you up some from the shop when they go.

@ittakes2

For £12 I would give them one for christmas so they get the hint and then they can replace it each year. Next time they ask for milk say you ran out too can they pick you up some from the shop when they go.

Mixed messages.

If you are going to gift the CF's a permit, shouldn't you be going the whole hog & making up a food hamper for them too?

The OP knows what she's gotta do. You can do it OP!

If you give them your parking permit every time they ask, what fucking incentive have they got to get their own?

Start saying no!

You need to be assertive and say no. Say no a few times they’ll soon learn

@bumhug

I would be tempted to write down the web link on a bit of paper with instructions of how to do it.

Pop it in an envelope with £12 in cash with a note to say that you're happy to buy them an annual pass the first time as they clearly need their own one and next time it's far easier to renew. Say you'd be happy to text or email them the link if that's easier for them.

I think that would make it very hard for them to ask again if you've physically handed over the cash for an annual pass. If they do ask again, a simple "are you kidding??" Laugh and close the door/walk away.

Eh?! Don't give the CFs £12.

Nah, that would piss me off too, more because they keep bothering me

@Billybagpuss

Am I the only one thinking just don’t tell them if you ever buy a house in Mexico?

hahahahahaha

Yes, don't!

Stop giving them a lend of anything especially the permit

My new neighbours started borrowing stuff
An extension lead
A pair of scissors
A shopping bag
A scouring pad
A few other things
None were returned

Now when they knock, I leave them at the door, trot off to the kitchen, make a big show of looking in cupboards and drawers and then trot back with a 'soooo sorry I don't seem to have them' shrug and say buh bye .......

I can't believe you've put up with this for 7 years and yet in your thread title you're still wondering if you're a mean spirited grump.

The parking permit you have paid for is yours, you do not need a reason not to lend it to anyone else. It is not your job to show them how to apply for the permit, they've had seven years to find out but it's more convenient to use yours so they're not going to and that is not your problem.

The contents of your fridge and cupboards belong to you, you do not need to make excuses for refusing to supplement their shopping. Few people would refuse an occasional request but it seems they don't know how to write a shopping list of things they've run out of and that is not your problem.

They are cheeky fuckers and will absolutely think you are a mean spirited grump when you say no, wear it like a badge of honour, it will mean you've eventually stopped allowing them to take the piss. In reality you have the patience of a saint, a less generous person (me) would have told the freeloaders to fuck off long ago.

7 years??
Didn't OP say 7 months?

Don’t give em £12 and the forms! They’ll expect this each year, use the money for something else and still keep on asking for the permit!!

No, “Sorry, I’ve lost the permit, do let me know when you get one so I can borrow it, ta”

£84

EIGHTY
FOUR
QUID

That's the 7 years of sponging off your visitor parking pass.

Have they ever given you £84 worth of stuff, @Missymisenthrope?

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

7 years?? Didn't OP say 7 months?

My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago

^ From the OP

Not to mention “borrowed” tea bags, milk sugar etc…

Bloody hell

Just say no?

You could say. Oh. Sorry. I’ve got visitors this weekend. Then when they say. But no one came. Say yeah. They had to cancel

Rinse and repeat.

Just when I thought this thread was going to be a total anti climax because for the first weekend in forever, they didn’t ask to borrow anything.. the husband came a knocking! You can’t make this stuff up!