Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this CF’ery or am I just a mean spirited old grump.

408 replies

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 12:28

I’ve lost perspective on this so am hoping you’ll all put me straight. I live on a street that leads down to a train station and is close to town so residents require parking permits. We can also pay extra (£12 per year) for a visitors permit. My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago and since then they have borrowed my visitors permit EVERY single time they have visitors, which is most weekends. I live alone and they are a family with small children, they get a lot more visitors than me. I’ve made the odd comment about getting their own permit but they always laugh it off with things like ‘oh I know, we’re terrible with admin’ etc. I know for a fact it’s not a question of money for them, I think they just can’t be bothered when they can use mine all the time. Incidentally, they very often knock the door for me to ‘lend’ them milk/sugar/store cupboard ingredients. It’s really getting to the point where I feel like refusing to lend it to them anymore because I feel resentful about it. Is that silly?
My question is, AIBU to feel this is cheeky or am I just being a mean spirited cow? If I’m not using it what’s the problem etc.

OP posts:
category12 · 05/09/2021 18:27

What did he ask for?

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 18:38

Apparently they did knock earlier because they have friends visiting who are now staying over because they’ve all had a drink and they need (!) the permit so they don’t get a ticket. I’ll do my best to transcribe the conversation…
‘Are we thought you were out Missy, we knocked earlier to get the pass’
‘I didn’t hear the door’
‘No problem, we were just wondering could we borrow the pass’
‘No sorry, I’ve got a friend visiting later, there are never traffic wardens on a Sunday evening anyway’
‘Well no but we want it for the morning if that’s ok?’
‘My friend is coming so I’ll be using it tonight and I’m going to work in the morning’
‘Ok. Do you mind posting it through our door on your way to work’
‘No, sorry, I’ve decided it’s really not great to be lending it out all the time, I can’t take responsibility for it. This sharing a permit isn’t really the best idea when we both need one anyway is it??
‘What do you mean’
‘Well you borrow it almost every weekend’
Blank stare.
‘I just don’t feel happy about lending it out all the time, it’s my responsibility and I barely use it for my own visitors’
Blank stare
‘I can show you how to apply for one if you need me to’
‘No I know how to do it’
‘Ok then’
‘Well can we borrow it tomorrow then and then we’ll get our own’
‘ No, I’m not going to be home tomorrow. Sorry’
Blank stare. Followed by walking away utterly shell shocked as if he’d just had an alien encounter.

My heart is racing! I have never been that assertive in my life! Honestly thank you all so much because it’s only your encouragement that gave me the courage to do that! Might not seem like much to some but I’m terrible with confrontation! I’m shocked at myself!

OP posts:
GettingItOutThere · 05/09/2021 18:39

"My friend used it and still has it, but you should get your own you cheeky bastard and stop asking for mine?"

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 18:39

I’ve just been out in the garden and what has been merriment all afternoon has now turned into hushed tones! I know they’re talking about me! I don’t care! I’m thrilled with myself!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 05/09/2021 18:39

Well done!! Keep it up.

category12 · 05/09/2021 18:41

Well done!

Noshowlomo · 05/09/2021 18:42

YEEESSS OP. Think I’ll raise my next gin to you clink
At 41 I’ve only started to be assertive and now telling people NO is bloody brilliant.

FOJN · 05/09/2021 18:43

I know they’re talking about me! I don’t care! I’m thrilled with myself!

This is excellent. It's exhilarating when you put your foot down and find the world doesn't end. Good for you.

BlusteryLake · 05/09/2021 18:44

Oh infinte applause to you OP!

Leftbutcameback · 05/09/2021 18:44

Wow - you were brilliant! Well done OP. Expect them to be a bit off with you now, but also to have to buy less milk!

Gensola · 05/09/2021 18:45

I find this sort of thing SO hard! Well done OP!!

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 18:48

Thank you all! I couldn’t have done it without you! Honestly I couldn’t. I fully expect them to be a bit off but I couldn’t care less to be honest and I also fully expect them to ask again but I’m certainly not afraid to say no again!

OP posts:
Cagedbirdsinging · 05/09/2021 18:49

My heart was racing reading that , OP .
Well done you !

Tistheseason17 · 05/09/2021 18:54

EIPC!! Well done, OP!!
Feels good when you actually do what you want to do and not want others want you to do!

makkapakka212 · 05/09/2021 18:55

Lol I'm terrible with confrontation and reading your transcript had my heart racing 😂😂 you did so well, hopefully that's it sorted and the CF'ers will get their own

PyjamaFan · 05/09/2021 18:58

Well done OP!

twilightcafe · 05/09/2021 19:06

Well done, OP!

IloveJudgeJudy · 05/09/2021 19:10

Very well done, OP! 💪

Muchasgracias · 05/09/2021 19:16

Well done OP. Proud of you Star

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/09/2021 19:16

Wow he didn't give up easily did he? Full CF mode! Well done!

GeorgeMichaelBluth · 05/09/2021 19:19

"The pass" not "Your pass" he thinks he owns it!

HappyintheHills · 05/09/2021 19:22

Well done OP 👏

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 19:23

@GeorgeMichaelBluth absolutely. I made sure to include that because it says everything doesn’t it really!

OP posts:
ElephantOfRisk · 05/09/2021 19:26

It's asstounding really. I'd gladly pay £12 a year so I never had to knock on my neighbours door, I really don't know how they can be bothered to do that every weekend to save a £1 a month. I mean, it's not like they are sharing something to save the environment. Cheeky fuckers. If they ask for milk, tell them you've gone vegan, bread? you are on a low carb diet. Or just tell them to fuck off and buy their own groceries....

MrsClatterbuck · 05/09/2021 19:27

Well done op 👏👏👏

Swipe left for the next trending thread