Is this CF’ery or am I just a mean spirited old grump.

[Missymisenthrope]

I’ve lost perspective on this so am hoping you’ll all put me straight. I live on a street that leads down to a train station and is close to town so residents require parking permits. We can also pay extra (£12 per year) for a visitors permit. My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago and since then they have borrowed my visitors permit EVERY single time they have visitors, which is most weekends. I live alone and they are a family with small children, they get a lot more visitors than me. I’ve made the odd comment about getting their own permit but they always laugh it off with things like ‘oh I know, we’re terrible with admin’ etc. I know for a fact it’s not a question of money for them, I think they just can’t be bothered when they can use mine all the time. Incidentally, they very often knock the door for me to ‘lend’ them milk/sugar/store cupboard ingredients. It’s really getting to the point where I feel like refusing to lend it to them anymore because I feel resentful about it. Is that silly?
My question is, AIBU to feel this is cheeky or am I just being a mean spirited cow? If I’m not using it what’s the problem etc.

Are all the visitors' passes the same, or do they have the house it belongs to written on it? I would be curious enough to have a quick look at windscreens as I walk along the street, just to see if they is a visitor's pass for their house that is being used by someone who is not a visitor.

Is Saoirse the neighbour, by any chance?

We have the same system where I live.
However, an awful lot of households were abusing the system. They were selling their visitors permit for a week or a month at a time, and making a good deal of money!
The council has now got rid of the yearly visitors permit, and you have single day permits. Which cost £2 per day…..
Stopped the misuse in its tracks, and a very nice earner for the council….
It’s a bit of a pain but it would stop your CF neighbours….

Well done, OP! Hopefully the other neighbour they blagged a pass off will react similarly when they ask again, because it's so obvious they won't bother to get one sorted. CFs indeed.

@MinnieGirl

We have the same system where I live. However, an awful lot of households were abusing the system. They were selling their visitors permit for a week or a month at a time, and making a good deal of money! The council has now got rid of the yearly visitors permit, and you have single day permits. Which cost £2 per day….. Stopped the misuse in its tracks, and a very nice earner for the council…. It’s a bit of a pain but it would stop your CF neighbours….

We have similar day permits, at £1 per ticket. And they make you use 2 tickets to cover an overnight stay.

Well done you @Missymisenthrope!!!

If I were you, and if you can do a bit of sleuthing to find out who they borrowed the permit from, I'd actually knock on that neighbours door and just bring them up to speed on the CFers borrowing your permit for the past 7 years and you just thought they should know so that they can nip it in the bud now and direct the Cfers to getting their own visitor permit.
They'll only stop when people stand up to them (just as you did) but they clearly knew there were others who are a soft touch in the neighbourhood.

Are visitor permits not linked to your address (as in your name and address) so they aren't transferrable?
If they aren't transferrable, could you perhaps contact the council and say that you have become aware of a neighbour who is regularly using other peoples permits and they aren't using their own so you're wondering what if anything could be done to sort out the situation? Is there a better option for permits available?

Hi All,
There’s a lot more replies than I was expecting so I’ll do my best to answer them.

The visitor permits are linked to an address, they have a serial number I think but the wardens don’t seem to have any electronic information so they don’t pay attention to who is using them. As long as a car has a valid permit displayed that’s enough. I really wish they would update what is clearly an outdated system. I love the idea of the day tickets that so many have mentioned, that would solve a multitude of problems. Parking is the main talking point on this street! 😂

I saw my friend this morning on my way to work, she lives a bit further up but is the street busybody (every street should have one) I briefly filled her in on the situation and she’s made it her mission to find out who lent them the permit. I just know she’ll be doing all her front garden jobs today so she can accost any passing neighbours! The whole road will be involved come home time! 😂
The visitors car was still there with borrowed permit in place as I left this morning. We shall see!

I can’t believe your council still farts about with paper permits! We went online years ago you pay for your own permits and log visitor registrations on the website. Really outdated where you are.

Well done for involving someone else, hopefully word will get round & no one will lend them passes or anything else!

Why not email the council and tell them that you understand the current permit system may be open to abuse and they could switch to a fairer and more modern system of single day permits!

Bravo on you being assertive yesterday!!

Well done op your neighbours are so rude.

I think if you don't mind the fine. But you obviously do mind - rightly. This would annoy me too. Next time they knocked for the parking pass I'd say something like; "Oh sorry, it was in my bag and it got stollen."
Then every time after that; "no sorry, I haven't got a new one yet!"

BEAMURE I think a polite get out is to say you had a guest borrow it and they forgot to give it back so you don't have it right now.

JingsMahBucket
YANBU. They’re just being lazy and are taking advantage of you.

Those above and this:
You have to get into the practice of saying 'no'. If you are uncomfortable saying 'no' recognise that but those uncomfortable feelings won't kill you . As with any habit the more you do it the easier it will become . Good luck

@Beamur

I think a polite get out is to say you had a guest borrow it and they forgot to give it back so you don't have it right now. Do they replace the borrowed items? If so, I don't think that would bother me, but if you find it annoying be less amenable.

This is an excellent suggestion. After a while, of course, they will wonder why you don't get a new one, but if they say something you can just say "I'm hopeless with this kind of thing and don't really need one anyway. If I did, I guess I could just borrow yours."

Bravo!
Well done for standing up for yourself and not being mugged off any longer. It sounds like these guys are a take take take family. Take the piss family.

They are cheeky fuckers. They can't be bothered getting their own stuff when that soft woman next door gives us what we want!

'Sorry, I've mislaid it! Bye!' would work?

I've just found this thread, but I got sweaty palms just thinking of the conversation - you were so brave! An inspiration. I am going to channel you next time I need to stop being a doormat (mainly at work, I am "stand-offish" and "give a f* off vibe" apparently in my non-work life, so tend not to get put upon so much).

Get some new friends/visitors so you can use your own more? Xxx

If they come to your door, say:
“Oh I can’t talk, I’m right in the middle of something right now”
Then shut the door before they have time to think up a response.
Shut the door in their lying, scrounging faces!!
The admin and non-renewal responses are good too 😅

@Twinkled

BEAMURE I think a polite get out is to say you had a guest borrow it and they forgot to give it back so you don't have it right now.

JingsMahBucket
YANBU. They’re just being lazy and are taking advantage of you.

Those above and this:
You have to get into the practice of saying 'no'. If you are uncomfortable saying 'no' recognise that but those uncomfortable feelings won't kill you . As with any habit the more you do it the easier it will become . Good luck

Scroll back a bit, & look for the post where OP describes how she handled the (hopefully last) CF request.

It'll warm the cockles of your heart!

Just seen your response op!
Well done!!

Well done for being assertive! Now watch the next lot get taken for a ride and see how long it takes them to get pissed off. Honestly the cheek of it!!

"I've sold it to someone else" ?