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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
Booboosweet · 04/09/2021 14:15

I sympathise with your predicament but I think you have to prepare yourself that she's going to be pissed off. If I were getting married and a close friend said they were going to a music festival instead, I would definitely feel sidelined and upset. Go to Glasto but accept that it might affect your friendship.

BritishSummertime · 04/09/2021 14:15

Or.is just just people being judgemental about it being a festival...

tttigress · 04/09/2021 14:15

**If OP is the brides' best friend and it's so important she attends, the bride should have asked OP in advance before she booked.

---
This is a good point, you sound like some one that talks about you Glastonbury tickets a lot so, if she really was your best friend she would have known what your plans are.

GarnetsandRubies · 04/09/2021 14:15

So easy to spot the nightmare brides on this thread

Isn't it!!!!! GrinGrinGrin

LadyGAgain · 04/09/2021 14:15

You already have a booked and part paid for holiday. It doesn't matter whether it's Glasto or a week in the canaries. Unfortunately it clashes. Wish her a wonderful wedding. Go on the hen do, buy a gift and share her excitement. With respect, she won't notice on the day unless it's a teeny tiny wedding. One of my best friends was unable to make our wedding. It did not in any way change our friendship. She's still one of my best friends!

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 14:16

@Booboosweet

I sympathise with your predicament but I think you have to prepare yourself that she's going to be pissed off. If I were getting married and a close friend said they were going to a music festival instead, I would definitely feel sidelined and upset. Go to Glasto but accept that it might affect your friendship.
If having your friends at your wedding is so important, why would you not check they're free before booking the venue?
KatherineJaneway · 04/09/2021 14:16

Alternatively, the bride clearly doesn't mind too much if she didn't check with OP before setting the date.

Alternatively, maybe she thought a 'good' friend would want to be at her wedding rather than at a festival

PhoboPhobia · 04/09/2021 14:16

@PollyPepper

YABU and Glastonbury is shit anyway.
I’m your opinion. What a weird thing to say. Obviously @Campingcarryon doesn’t think it’s shit otherwise this thread wouldn’t exist.

Of course only you know your friend OP but if it was my wedding, I think I’d understand. There are lots of people at a wedding and the day isn’t going to be ruined by the absence of one friend.

godmum56 · 04/09/2021 14:17

@Scrunchies

Loads of my husbands best friends went to Glastonbury instead of our wedding. Slightly different in that we sent our save the dates before they bought their tickets, and they cancelled on us. I didnt care as they aren’t my friends, but I think dh was a bit upset. I think if you’ve already bought tickets that’s fair enough
did they respond to the save the dates with a firm committment to go to your wedding?
LargeBouquet · 04/09/2021 14:18

@caughtinanet, it's not so much about knowing when it's on every year (late June), it's more that the OP will have had her tickets for years, with two cancellations, and is probably likely to have talked about it to a close friend, given that tickets are gold dust.

readytosell · 04/09/2021 14:19

@MaudBaileysGreenTurban

So easy to spot the nightmare brides on this thread Grin
My thoughts too exactly!

It's always the thing with weddings though, not everyone will be able to attend for various reasons. I wouldn't even give it any more headspace if someone had already got something booked.

So enjoy Glasto, especially on behalf of those who weren't able to get tickets Grin

Honeymare · 04/09/2021 14:19

That's a really tough one OP. I ticked yanbu because I don't think you are but it's a shame. I'd tell her soon - "I didn't realise this when you announced your wedding date but Glasto is on. Can we have a pre-wedding celebration together? I am gutted to be missing it "

SirVixofVixHall · 04/09/2021 14:19

@BigWhooper

You're busy that weekend ie you have a prior engagement. It would be the same as if you'd booked a holiday. Even more so really because you can hardly rearrange. It's a shame but you can't do everything.
I agree. A very good friend couldn’t come to my wedding due to a prior engagement, I didn’t even ask her what it was, just accepted that she had something else on.
Snoken · 04/09/2021 14:19

I hate weddings and would choose Glasto over any wedding. Even my own.

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 14:20

@KatherineJaneway

Alternatively, the bride clearly doesn't mind too much if she didn't check with OP before setting the date.

Alternatively, maybe she thought a 'good' friend would want to be at her wedding rather than at a festival

Would you really expect a friend to give up tickets they'd spend several hundreds pounds on just to attend your wedding?!

If it's that important to you, you need to arrange your wedding around her. She booked the tickets first.

godmum56 · 04/09/2021 14:20

oh Glasto in a heartbeat.
So far as the wedding goes, if the bride and groom and celebrant are there, then that is all that matters. No one else is essential.

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 14:20

@MaudBaileysGreenTurban

So easy to spot the nightmare brides on this thread Grin
Isn't it just Grin
TabithaTiger · 04/09/2021 14:20

Definitely Glasto. I would totally understand if you were my friend. Glastonbury tickets are so hard to get hold of, you may never get the change again.

HeronLanyon · 04/09/2021 14:21

I 100% would go to Glastonbury. She’ll know how important it is to you as she’s a really good friend. Will others in her invite list also have trouble with that date ?
Just be open ASAP. ‘Oh I’m so sorry but that is the Glastonbury weekend and I’ve already got my ticket and have made plans. I am so so sorry because I’d love to be at your wedding obviously’.
Is your camper van going to have more than you ? Ie is anyone else going ie not just your own plans thrown into disarray ??
Honestly if this were a close friend I’d not think twice about you not coming and suggest a post wedding meal out or catch up.

LavendulaAngustifolia · 04/09/2021 14:21

did they respond to the save the dates with a firm committment to go to your wedding?

Why would you expect a response from a save the date? It's not the invitation

User657849 · 04/09/2021 14:22

Are you planning to go to the festival with common friends or a different set of people?
You might not be the only one to decline.

godmum56 · 04/09/2021 14:24

@LavendulaAngustifolia

did they respond to the save the dates with a firm committment to go to your wedding?

Why would you expect a response from a save the date? It's not the invitation

that's why I asked, because the Op then said "they cancelled on us" you can't cancel something you never accepted.
Dozer · 04/09/2021 14:24

You clearly want to go to the festival much more than the wedding, so do that. Friend might be hurt but it’s unlikely to mean the end of the friendship.

PinkiOcelot · 04/09/2021 14:24

Go to Glastonbury, but tell her today about the clash in dates.
You’ve had the tickets for 2 years now-3 by the time you go. She can’t be pissed at that surely.

diddl · 04/09/2021 14:24

@icedcoffees

Then she clearly isn't a 'good' friend if you prefer Glastonbury to her wedding.

Alternatively, the bride clearly doesn't mind too much if she didn't check with OP before setting the date.

It's the best part of a year away-she might be thinking that that's enough notice & a lot of people won't have booked anything yet.