Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
scarpa · 05/09/2021 17:46

YANBU. Like you said, people wouldn't be annoyed if you had to miss a wedding because you had a holiday booked abroad - this is no different to a holiday, it just happens to be in the UK (and by the time the festival over, would probably cost the same... including ticket, some equipment, travel and an entire weekend of cocktails, my last Glasto cost me almost £800!).

cushioncovers · 05/09/2021 17:52

If you were abroad for a holiday she would not expect you to fly home to attend the wedding so a five day festival 200 miles away is the same thing afaic. As others have said I'd just be tactful with her.

Baxdream · 05/09/2021 17:56

Personally I think you made the right choice! Glastonbury will be amazing.
To me, that weekend is crazy to book a wedding if you have any hint your friends are into Glastonbury! It's the same weekend every year!

Plumtree391 · 05/09/2021 18:01

I'm glad to read the update, op.

You made the right choice and your friend obviously understands, particularly as you're not the only one.

RazorSharp · 05/09/2021 18:03

Hopefully your friend is now realising why the venue was available at such short notice!

pollymere · 05/09/2021 18:06

My bestest friend planned her wedding for the weekend of my wedding anniversary. She had already married in the Registry Office without me. I spent my Wedding anniversary in Paris as was already booked. It hasn't affected our friendship at all. I think maybe she realized she should've thought about the date. Your friend may find that others also have tickets for Glastonbury as obviously they were booked ages ago so less concerned people will just politely decline.

Mumontour85 · 05/09/2021 18:09

How good a friend is she??
How hurt will she be??
Will your friendship recover??
Is a festival actually, genuinely more important than seeing a good friend on the happiest day of her life?!

I understand you looking for people here to justify your (already made!), decision, but we don't know your friend, relationship, or how she may react to this kind of hurt so its on you and your own conscious to decide!

RazorSharp · 05/09/2021 18:10

@Mumontour85

How good a friend is she?? How hurt will she be?? Will your friendship recover?? Is a festival actually, genuinely more important than seeing a good friend on the happiest day of her life?!

I understand you looking for people here to justify your (already made!), decision, but we don't know your friend, relationship, or how she may react to this kind of hurt so its on you and your own conscious to decide!

And the other two that have said the same!
pollymere · 05/09/2021 18:11

You posted whilst I was writing! I'm glad she's realised it's a big clash so she can decide what to do about it. And that people are being honest enough to say it's Glastonbury.

cherish123 · 05/09/2021 18:12

Depends on how much you value the friendship. There are plenty of music festivals.

Cornettoninja · 05/09/2021 18:17

That’s a relief for you @Campingcarryon. Obviously it’s not great for the bride but it does kind of prove the point that it’s not just an uncommon view.

Mumontour85 · 05/09/2021 18:17

Yep, just read the updates from OP!
I actually already thought Glasto should win out, I just didn't think should be anyone else's decision... wedding days do not necessarily trump everything else going on in the world!
I'm glad that they Glasto ticket holders have all made the same decision!

Erwhatno · 05/09/2021 18:22

Yanbu but I do feel
Sorry for her 🙈

Concestor · 05/09/2021 18:26

I think YABU although it's clear from your comments that you don't really care.

You keep saying Glastonbury is your favourite festival, but also that you haven't been in ten years, so how can it be?

My best friend didn't come to my wedding because of what she called a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to Dubai. I was really hurt and still am 13 years on. I wanted to share my day with my favourite people and to not have her there when actually she could go to Dubai any time (they have plenty of money) was very upsetting. I wish she was in my photos and that I had memories of her being with me on the day.

You CAN go to Glastonbury another year, it might be hard but it is possible. You will never be able to make up to her for missing her wedding when you are supposed to be what you describe as a good friend.

I can't believe you feel better because lots of her so called friends are as flaky and selfish as you. She needs to find better friends in my opinion.

Harmonypuss · 05/09/2021 18:26

(Hopefully) your friends will only be getting married once, Glastonbury (with the exception of 2020&21) is one every year.

Go to the wedding!

RazorSharp · 05/09/2021 18:29

@zurala

I think YABU although it's clear from your comments that you don't really care.

You keep saying Glastonbury is your favourite festival, but also that you haven't been in ten years, so how can it be?

My best friend didn't come to my wedding because of what she called a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to Dubai. I was really hurt and still am 13 years on. I wanted to share my day with my favourite people and to not have her there when actually she could go to Dubai any time (they have plenty of money) was very upsetting. I wish she was in my photos and that I had memories of her being with me on the day.

You CAN go to Glastonbury another year, it might be hard but it is possible. You will never be able to make up to her for missing her wedding when you are supposed to be what you describe as a good friend.

I can't believe you feel better because lots of her so called friends are as flaky and selfish as you. She needs to find better friends in my opinion.

She's not got long to get better friends, so maybe she reconsiders the date?
Ironmanrocks · 05/09/2021 18:29

One of my closest friends didnt come to my wedding because she had pre-booked tickets to a festival. I was disappointed, I admit, very disappointed - because I love her and wanted her there. But I haven't let it spoil our friendship as it is WAY too good and very important to me.

I think for you, having waited 3 years, I would DEFINITELY go to the festival. It's booked. If it was a holiday already booked, you wouldn't think twice.

JFM27 · 05/09/2021 18:34

Personally i think all these comments make me realise how little friendship means to people today,i m not a wedding fan but if a close friend of mine choose a Music festival over my wedding i wouldnt be happy,Never understood the appeal of spending days in a muddy field with grubby loos in close proximity with many others quite frankly even more so with covid still around and though not a wedding fan id rather go to that.

minimecantrollerskate · 05/09/2021 18:35

YANBU OP, you had the Glastonbury tickets first, so are unable to attend her wedding.

I can understand her being upset, but that's life and we can't do everything when things clash.

Maybe she will have a change of date if lots can't attend. I have seen it happening to a lot of people though, due to so many weddings and holidays being rearranged there are lots of clashes this/next year.

LilMum23 · 05/09/2021 18:36

I've been in this situation twice.
1st time I chose the gig, 2nd time I chose the friends wedding.

Your missing out whichever you choose, but if she's a really good friend/bestie it's pretty harsh to miss one of the biggest days of her life for a festival that happens almost every year.
Unless there's a specific act you really want to see that you might never get to see again.

RazorSharp · 05/09/2021 18:36

@JFM27

Personally i think all these comments make me realise how little friendship means to people today,i m not a wedding fan but if a close friend of mine choose a Music festival over my wedding i wouldnt be happy,Never understood the appeal of spending days in a muddy field with grubby loos in close proximity with many others quite frankly even more so with covid still around and though not a wedding fan id rather go to that.
Are people in muddy fields more likely to spread COVID, when they're outside? What about all those people at the wedding, singing, dancing in close proximity and indoors, surely they'd be more likely to spread COVID?
HugeAckmansWife · 05/09/2021 18:36

zurala she hasn't been for 10 years ecause it's so incredibly hard to get tickets.. Have you read ANY of the thread??

Nootkah · 05/09/2021 18:39

Youve got a holiday booked, essentially, havent you. Pre existing commitment that weekend that you cant change. Enjoy the festival.

Fwaltz · 05/09/2021 18:39

I’d be gutted if someone missed my wedding to go to glasto. But the idea of festivals fill me with dread, so I am defo not the right audience for this question! Do what you think is right.

dapsnotplimsolls · 05/09/2021 18:39

@Campingcarryon

Oh god, I have had a reply and apparently I am the 3rd person to respond to her saying they have glasto tickets and can’t come 😬 Am hoping she might consider a different date now....
Ooh. That makes things interesting!
Swipe left for the next trending thread