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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
Joystir59 · 05/09/2021 07:04

Your friend will surely understand

Fubitch · 05/09/2021 07:05

She's booked a weeks holiday. I checked that my close people were available before I booked my wedding.

Chakaparm · 05/09/2021 07:05

I would go to the festival but send her a nice card and gift for her wedding on her wedding day for arrival at the reception venue.. Then maybe take her for a meal post wedding.. I'm assuming this is a good friend..
You booked the festival first, you go there.. That's the long and short of it.

NavyNails2 · 05/09/2021 07:10

I'd miss my own wedding to go to Glastonbury!

Sadiecow · 05/09/2021 07:12

@NavyNails2

I'd miss my own wedding to go to Glastonbury!
Now that may be an issue!

GrinGrinGrin

Simonjt · 05/09/2021 07:13

I wonder how many people who expect OP to cancel would be willing to refund the costs of cancelled holidays and events if they booked their wedding when an intended guest had an event booked and paid for.

Pottedpalm · 05/09/2021 07:18

@itsgettingwierd

You've already made plans.

I'm often surprised when people book weddings on weekends where there are major festivals or on BH weekends and act surprised that some of their have previously made plans!

Because many people don’t give a shit about festivals, major or otherwise. Or football matches, formula 1, Wimbledon… what else would you expect them to avoid? I wonder how all those saying ‘Go to Glastonbury’ would feel if a very good friend chose one of these events over their wedding?
FrangipaniBlue · 05/09/2021 07:20

@Simonjt

I wonder how many people who expect OP to cancel would be willing to refund the costs of cancelled holidays and events if they booked their wedding when an intended guest had an event booked and paid for.
Exactly this!

It's not like OP is going for one night, it's literally 5 days!!

If she's had a long weekend abroad already booked would people expect her to cancel that?

It's no different IMO.

Pottedpalm · 05/09/2021 07:21

@TomBradysLeftKneecap

I'm officially old as this thread makes no sense to me. There is no way in a million years I'd miss one of the most important days of a close friend's life to spend a weekend in a muddy field.
I sgree!
Nel246 · 05/09/2021 07:22

Same for you...you not liking the idea of Glastonbury has nothing to do with it 🤷 but you make the same comment as me!

bobblebeebob · 05/09/2021 07:22

Gah Glastonbury is hell in earth but you seem to
Like it, so go

foreverlobsters · 05/09/2021 07:23

I think the point here is that OP needs to accept that she may well have upset her friend, as shown by the mixed responses to this thread.

Simonjt · 05/09/2021 07:23

@Pottedpalm It wouldn’t bother me, I wouldn’t book my own wedding on a weekend when I had a holiday booked and paid for, so if an intended guest was in that situation I wouldn’t be bothered at all. Weddings are boring for guests, a wedding is about making a commitment to your partner, apart from the couple and the people needed to make the ceremony legal everything else really doesn’t matter.

CecilyP · 05/09/2021 07:25

I’ll also be at glasto for 5 days!

Then it’s the equivalent of a holiday! You wouldn’t cancel a holiday. Your friends wedding clashes with a holiday, so I would go to Glasto.

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 05/09/2021 07:26

No one has to go to any wedding, at all.

Neew789 · 05/09/2021 07:28

Has your friend gone a bit bridezilla?

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 05/09/2021 07:29

There are some serious bridezillas on Rhys thread!

When I got married, some people could come and some people couldn’t. I enjoyed the company of those that came but I certainly didn’t Chuck those who couldn’t come out of my life in a strop. I just accepted that people have busy lives and other plans like holidays, weekends away, concerts, whatever.

Honestly, I accepted that the world didn’t revolve around my wedding.

OP posts:
jacks11 · 05/09/2021 07:29

It’s up to you. If she is a really close friend I’d go to her wedding, personally, but everyone is different. I would give this some careful thought due to the close relationship.

Though I agree with others- let her know now and be upfront about it so she doesn’t think you got the Glastonbury tickets after her invite.

In her shoes, given you are really close friends, I think I’d be hurt but I’d try to understand.

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 05/09/2021 07:29

*this thread not Rhys thread 🤣

OP posts:
treenu · 05/09/2021 07:29

You've done the right thing.

Cannot believe all the guilt trippers on here, but then I just don't get weddings either. If it's a good friend they'll understand!

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 05/09/2021 07:31

@Neew789 I think a lot of the bridezillas are on this thread to be honest 😬

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 05/09/2021 07:31

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Go to the festival. About 1 month before the wedding invite your friend to a weekend getaway, she can either tell you all about the wedding craziness or you guys can pretend it doesn’t exist if that’s what she wants. I bet cash money at some point she says the words “I wish I was going with you to Glastonbury instead of getting married”
Yeah,right! 😂
LavenderAskew · 05/09/2021 07:36

The only awkwardness about this should be if the OP had responded going in about how she couldn't wait for the wedding and how amazing the day will be, whilst knowing full well he couldn't go.

Seeing she didn't (you didn't did you, @Campingcarryon!?) then it's a non-issue, the date is not free for her to "save".

LlamasintheFog · 05/09/2021 07:39

Music festivals are my worst nightmare and I still say go to Glastonbury.

I was about to a say surely everyone knows last weekend June in Glastonbury so wise to avoid that weekend when wedding planning but then I remembered my anniversary is 28th June Blush

It is unfortunate, but you have a prior, much anticipated, engagement. Your friend will understand, I hope. Much as I hate festivals, in the current circumstances, I would have done.

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 05/09/2021 07:39

@LavenderAskew of course I didn’t! I have been up front (after having to really think about it and with the mostly helpful comments on here) and told her I can’t come as I am going to glasto!

She might be pissed off as we are close mates but honestly, I do think in adult life there has to be some acceptance that everyone is busy and that covid has also messed up long held plans.

OP posts:
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