To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

[Campingcarryon]

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

Oh and it's ludicrous that someone actually suggested you could drive 300 miles to a wedding and be back for the evening at Glasto... nuts

Glastonbury- no question-have loved it every time have been. I've not got tickets the last 3 times I've tried including for next year you could be waiting another decade to get this lucky.

Ps if you don't go please can I have your tickets!

@CP26

Wow clearly I’m in the minority! Personally I’d want to be there for a close friend on such a significant day in her life. I know you probably won’t spend much one on one time with her on the day but it’s a sign of support for you to be there. I do everything in my power to go to weddings and I think it’s an honour to be invited. Though clearly it helps that I’m Irish, our weddings are great craic

I’m Irish, and it wouldn’t even occur to me to put a wedding above a long-awaited, pre-booked event I really wanted to go to.

@CP26

Wow clearly I’m in the minority! Personally I’d want to be there for a close friend on such a significant day in her life. I know you probably won’t spend much one on one time with her on the day but it’s a sign of support for you to be there. I do everything in my power to go to weddings and I think it’s an honour to be invited. Though clearly it helps that I’m Irish, our weddings are great craic

I'm Irish too and enjoy weddings but deffo think OP is right to pick Glastonbury.

@BornFreee

"200 miles apart so once I am on site, I won’t be leaving!!"

A 3 hour drive each way and arrive back in time for the headline act, definitely do-able.

Apart from the 3 hours each way it takes to get on/off the site as well as the 3 hour drive each way, wouldn't be worth it. If my partner planned a wedding on Glasto weekend we wouldn't be getting married full stop as I wouldn't attend my own wedding over Glastonbury.

@Treecreature

Wedding without a doubt.

I take it you’ve never been to Glastonbury?

Glastonbury. It's a already booked holiday. How many people would actually cancel their planned holiday that you have no guarantee you'd get to go to again for a wedding?

Can you tell us how closer friend she is op?

I really don't enjoy weddings and always feel annoyed at how far in advance people invite me as I never book things like holidays very far in advance so don't have a legitimate reason not to go

Definitely Glastonbury.

When we booked our wedding, we checked carefully for relevant clashes like this, so more fool them, frankly.

I'm officially old as this thread makes no sense to me. There is no way in a million years I'd miss one of the most important days of a close friend's life to spend a weekend in a muddy field.

@Campingcarryon

Well, I have told her that I can’t come because it’s the weekend of Glastonbury. No reply as yet 😬 Am relieved though- have really agonised over it but ultimately I really don’t want to miss Glastonbury! I have waited SO long to go!

Did you word it to explain you have already got tickets otherwise obviously you would have prioritised the wedding? Something to explain a little?

@MyOtherProfile of course! I explained that I had the tickets rolled over from 2020. I haven’t heard anything back still but can see she has read it so 😬

@TomBradysLeftKneecap I’m assuming you have never been to glastonbury as it’s really not just a muddy field. It’s the biggest performing arts festival in the world so if (like me) you love music, there are 100 stages of it to get lost in!

I wouldn’t miss a close friends wedding for Glastonbury or any other festival.

Your 'good' friends wedding and being part of her day should be first rather than a field full of mud.

Sounds like your 21...and the idea of a no sleep and no showers for a few days is appealing. I personally couldn't think of anything worse.

You can go camping again and have the opportunity to go to a Festival but your friends wedding will only happen once.

Tell her ASAP! Then it's done.

Oh dear. If she really is a close friend then you've probably really hurt her- but I can see it's probably too late now.

I could understand if she was a friend you hadn't seen in a long time, colleague or something similar- but you've essentially just told your close friend that you value an annual festival over one of the biggest days of her life. I wouldn't be calling her a close friend anymore if I were you.

@Nel246 but why ‘should’ it be? As others have pointed out, if I had booked a week long holiday to the Seychelles, would you be falling over yourself to tell me to cancel?

And is there an age limit on enjoying live music? Nope.

It's not really an annual festival though is it. Leaving Covid out of it, its v v hard to get tickets so there's absolutely no guarantee the op will get them again anytime soon. Unless you're a bridesmaid, most guests only spend a few mins tops with the bride at a wedding.. You not being there will really not spoil the day and if she's a good friend she'll understand. I'm not a festival person myself but unlike many on here I understand the concept that we all like different things. I'd make a point of doing something really nice with her separately, to acknowledge you're missing it, and send a really heartfelt message to be read out at speech time.

[quote Campingcarryon]@Nel246 but why ‘should’ it be? As others have pointed out, if I had booked a week long holiday to the Seychelles, would you be falling over yourself to tell me to cancel?

And is there an age limit on enjoying live music? Nope.[/quote]
I do understand that logic, however if it were my wedding and my close friend, for some reason it would sit much better with me if the reason was a prebooked holiday abroad rather than a prebooked festival. I'm not sure why as I agree it isn't logical- but just tying to put myself in your friend's shoes.

She probably shouldn't have booked her wedding over Glastonbury weekend if she knew a close friend was likely to want to attend though- that was a bit shortsighted, but then planning a wedding is a stressful thing with so much to think about.

It's a rubbish situation for both of you to be honest.

I could understand if she was a friend you hadn't seen in a long time, colleague or something similar- but you've essentially just told your close friend that you value an annual festival over one of the biggest days of her life. I wouldn't be calling her a close friend anymore if I were you

Jesus @foreverlobsters do you guilt trip all your friends in the same way? It’s literally not my fault that the wedding she has only just decided to have in June next year falls on the same weekend as an event I have had tickets for since 2019. It’s really unfortunate but it’s just the way it is.

@Aprilx

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.

Yup.

@Nel246

Your 'good' friends wedding and being part of her day should be first rather than a field full of mud.

Sounds like your 21...and the idea of a no sleep and no showers for a few days is appealing. I personally couldn't think of anything worse.

You can go camping again and have the opportunity to go to a Festival but your friends wedding will only happen once.

You not liking the idea of Glastonbury has nothing to do with it!

I can't think of anything worse, no offence OP!

But I appreciate that OP clearly loves it. I'm sure that OP wouldn't fancy coming on long county walks with me and if I'd booked a weekend away with a specially organised event, I wouldn't want to miss it.

Not everyone can attend a wedding if invited, it happens.

@Campingcarryon

I could understand if she was a friend you hadn't seen in a long time, colleague or something similar- but you've essentially just told your close friend that you value an annual festival over one of the biggest days of her life. I wouldn't be calling her a close friend anymore if I were you

Jesus @foreverlobsters do you guilt trip all your friends in the same way? It’s literally not my fault that the wedding she has only just decided to have in June next year falls on the same weekend as an event I have had tickets for since 2019. It’s really unfortunate but it’s just the way it is.

I don't guilt trip my friends at all. As you can see from my posts I've tried to put myself in both of your shoes and can see both sides. You did ask for advice- I can see your friend's probable side as well as your own so pointed it out.

Hopefully she genuinely doesn't mind and can see both sides as well! I just know that wedding are for obvious reasons very emotive things.