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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
diddl · 04/09/2021 18:32

@icedcoffees

It's the best part of a year away-she might be thinking that that's enough notice & a lot of people won't have booked anything yet.

People have always booked things like holidays that far in advance, though. So it's not ridiculous to think someone would double check their friends' plans before booking something as important to them as a wedding.

Well yes, there's always a risk that someone will have booked something.

I think at lot of people get caught up in being able to co ordinate venues for ceremony & reception & take what they can.

Monkeytapper · 04/09/2021 18:34

Glastonbury

Bobmonkfish · 04/09/2021 18:35

I checked with my family and close friends that they could make my wedding date. You have a prior engagement; it's not like you said yes and then booked the tickets.

ConsulTremas · 04/09/2021 18:36

Whether she was expecting people to have booked something so far in advance or not, the fact of the matter is that someone has. That’s life.

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 18:47

Well, I have told her that I can’t come because it’s the weekend of Glastonbury. No reply as yet 😬 Am relieved though- have really agonised over it but ultimately I really don’t want to miss Glastonbury! I have waited SO long to go!

OP posts:
ConsulTremas · 04/09/2021 18:55

@Campingcarryon

Well, I have told her that I can’t come because it’s the weekend of Glastonbury. No reply as yet 😬 Am relieved though- have really agonised over it but ultimately I really don’t want to miss Glastonbury! I have waited SO long to go!
You’ll have an amazing time, I’m hugely jealous. The people saying it’s “just a festival” haven’t got a clue.
NemesiaPinkLagoon · 04/09/2021 18:56

People shouldn't book their wedding on Glastonbury weekend!

Opus17 · 04/09/2021 18:58

Ah I see you've already told your friend. Hopefully she'll understand but I can see her being upset by this. Fingers crossed for you

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 18:59

@ConsulTremas yes, there’s nowhere like it! It’s the best place 💚

OP posts:
Plumtree391 · 04/09/2021 19:00

I'm glad you've told her, op.

I also hope Glastonbury goes ahead next year, better than ever, and that nothing else stops you going. I always wish I had been - I know I won't now but never mind. It is such an experience (I have been reliably informed).

Mybestgirl · 04/09/2021 19:03

Go and enjoy Glastonbury!!

HeronLanyon · 04/09/2021 19:03

campingcarryon well down and I hope all is ok with her when she replies.

Essexgirlupnorth · 04/09/2021 19:05

One of my friends got married Glastonbury weekend one year (was the weekend they had finally got together as a couple) I had tickets for the year but had only paid the deposit so cancelled them and went to went. However when the invite came it was only me invited not my at the time boyfriend so he could have gone which was a bit annoying.

I think I would go to Glastonbury especially as it is the 50th anniversary.

DoubleShotEspresso · 04/09/2021 19:10

You describe the bride as a "close friend" OP?
I'd go to the wedding and watch Glasto highlights on tv at home in the warm! I'd imagine your friend being offended if you chose a festival over her big day...

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 19:11

I think at lot of people get caught up in being able to co ordinate venues for ceremony & reception & take what they can.

Definitely, but equally you can't get annoyed that people can't make it if you haven't spoken to them about it first.

icedcoffees · 04/09/2021 19:13

@DoubleShotEspresso

You describe the bride as a "close friend" OP? I'd go to the wedding and watch Glasto highlights on tv at home in the warm! I'd imagine your friend being offended if you chose a festival over her big day...
She should have spoken to OP and made sure she was free on her chosen date if she was that bothered about it.
Original poster
Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 19:15

@DoubleShotEspresso I don’t want to watch the highlights at home! I want to be up to my knees in mud and glitter drinking warm cider and dancing my arse off with 100k other people!

OP posts:
AngelsWithSilverWings · 04/09/2021 19:21

Go to Glastonbury! My DH also is tickets carried over from 2020 and I know he'd be gutted to miss it.

I gave up tickets to see my favourite band because my cousin got married. They divorced after 6 months so I was really pissed off.

His second wedding clashed with Pulp at the V Fest in 96 so I said bugger the wedding I'm going to V.

They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

legoriakelne · 04/09/2021 19:22

@DoubleShotEspresso

You describe the bride as a "close friend" OP? I'd go to the wedding and watch Glasto highlights on tv at home in the warm! I'd imagine your friend being offended if you chose a festival over her big day...
How self important must a person be to sulk or end friendships because everyone in their life doesn't cancel pre-booked holidays and events to attend their wedding? Hmm

Some people need to get a grip.

Stroopwaffle5000 · 04/09/2021 19:30

Weddings are boring. Go to Glastonbury!

FibroidFanny · 04/09/2021 19:31

@Aprilx

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.
Have to admit I'd think the same.
littlebird13 · 04/09/2021 19:37

Glastonbury 1 million percent!!
The wedding is her big day, yes it would be lovely but I'm sure you'll go to plenty of weddings in your lifetime!
Just say sorry but you already have tickets but say you'd like to still go in the hen do or celebrate with her before etc

DoubleShotEspresso · 04/09/2021 19:38

@FibroidFanny I agree. Acyears noyuce post Covid I'd have thought was "sufficient for save the date purposes"...
I really get that we have all missed the fun things that bring us joy- but seriously it's friends and family I've missed most. I'd take any of my friends since the pyramid stage for one day 💁‍♀️

snowballer · 04/09/2021 19:44

@Aprilx

I am astonished than anyone would put a festival before a good friends wedding. It would really tell me what a low priority I am to a friend that did that.
But it's not like she's half thinking of going to Glastonbury - she's already got the tickets, and prior to the friend's invitation/save the date coming out.

Honestly, if I was getting married again and I'd chosen the Glasto weekend, half my friends wouldn't have been there! We got married on a bank holiday weekend and knew that would mean some wouldn't make it. OP might also not be the only person on this bride's list who is already booked for Glastonbury. As a bride I would never have assumed people would give up those tickets for a wedding. Go to Glastonbury OP. The wedding is a once in a lifetime for her, but this is one for you.

PurpleOkapi · 04/09/2021 19:44

It's a wedding invitation, not a summons. Certainly the bride and groom don't owe it to their guests to consult everyone's schedules before picking a date. But if they choose not to do that, they're choosing to accept the risk that some people who are important to them will have conflicts.