AIBU to never let my daughter have a drink again?

[Lauraloveshimback]

Yes I know IABU. I posted this in the Health section but have had no replies. Now posting here for traffic. My daughter is 8 1/2 and still wets herself on a night so has to wear pull ups. We have tried everything - no water after 6pm, regular toilet visits, wake up at 10pm to go and wake her up early morning to go - and a mixture of these together. I have tried the alarm but she doesn’t like the feel of it. She does not wet herself in the day. I have been to see a doctor but her advice was just to persevere. Does anyone have any advice? I would be so grateful. Thank you in advance

Go back to your gp I think

No advice but my daughter was the same until she was 11. Nothing we did helped. It wasn't something she could control in her sleep and would be very upset about it.

She's 13 now and no problems the last 2 years. I read on line that it's more common than you think and most children eventually grow out of it.

I was 11 before I stopped wetting the bed, my parents despaired, they tried all sorts, nit letting me drink in the evening, making me have a wee when they went to bed. Nothing worked. Then suddenly I just stopped.
I look back and feel awful for my poor mum, this was before automatic washing machines.

My son was like that until about 7, I think, and the GP gave him something to sniff at night. One sniff and the problem was resolved! He had to keep it going for the month, but never wet himself again. I'm not sure what it was - I'm sure someone here will know. It was to do with a hormone kicking in, I think.

I was similar as a child and the alarm worked for me. If she doesn’t like the feel of it is there anything that could be done to make it more comfortable for her? Wrap it in something (obviously something that lets wet through) or place it slightly differently?

Suggest don’t wake her up for the loo as her bladder needs to recognise when it’s full. She’ll grow out of it, but in the meantime ask dr about desmopressin

@HollowTalk

My son was like that until about 7, I think, and the GP gave him something to sniff at night. One sniff and the problem was resolved! He had to keep it going for the month, but never wet himself again. I'm not sure what it was - I'm sure someone here will know. It was to do with a hormone kicking in, I think.

This sounds amazing!

Until the hormone that stops night wetting kicks in there isn’t that much you can do other than wait. Has she been referred to a clinic?

Bedwetting charity website - loads of advice and resources. Sympathy OP - my younger dd wasn't dry at night until she was 11. Sometimes it's just a brain development thing and if they're not ready they're not.
She's a perfectly normal, happy, healthy adult now.

www.eric.org.uk/Pages/Category/bedwetting

She needs to persevere with the alarm - tell her it won't be forever, just till it's sorted

This isn't her faulty and nor is she faulty. The hormone needed for dry nights starts being produced when it's ready.

The only thing you can do is go back to the drs. There's a charity that's amazing for this stuff, but the name of it has completely left my brain.

Eric! That's it. Cross post.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I had a similar issue around that age. Recurrent UTIs, the alarm, no fluids, the whole hog.

What I will say is not being allowed fluids at night made me a bit obsessed with drinking at night. It's stuck with me to adulthood and I get loads of anxiety if I stay at a strange place, wondering if I can get water at night.
I'd try and avoid banning water for this reason. It didn't work for me anyway, but left me with this anxiety.
I stopped shortly around your daughter's age, I believe naturally as the bloody alarm thing just irritated me.
What I would say is can you get investigation done into possible UTI? Mine wasn't treated properly and sadly has marred my adult life quite considerably. I also think I'd have benefitted from some pelvic floor investigation, but NHS not interested once you are an adult.

Does she drink blackcurrant squash or juice? This was my yds cause of wetting. It was very frustrating but once we cut that out it really did help. I would also get her up in the night and make sure she was awake enough to know she was weeing on the loo and not in her bed. Pull-ups were a godsend. It's just a matter of time for her muscles to work how they are meant to, so just keep doing what you're doing and try not to stress about it. Easier said than done I know.

@Angel2702

Until the hormone that stops night wetting kicks in there isn’t that much you can do other than wait. Has she been referred to a clinic?

My youngest was quite late to be dry at night, and i remember hearing this. He's dry now - we kept him in pull ups until he was ready. We also didnt want him to be stressed out by it as it wasn't deliberate

@Poptart4

No advice but my daughter was the same until she was 11. Nothing we did helped. It wasn't something she could control in her sleep and would be very upset about it.

She's 13 now and no problems the last 2 years. I read on line that it's more common than you think and most children eventually grow out of it.

This is actually not as uncommon as you'd think, it just happens later for some kids. One tip is that carbs hold a lot of water so you might try cutting out sugar/sweets/fruit etc early in the day, and keeping dinner early and light, alongside limiting water from early on. That could really help. Also maybe teach her a bit about how her body might just not be ready which will take the stress away from her a bit and that might also help.

DS1 wet the bed until he was about 11. I'd read somewhere that it was due to a hormone and so so we just waited for the hormone to kick in and never really mentioned the bed-wetting to him, other than to tell him to get changed and, when he was older, to strip the bed.

@MrsRoyCropper

Suggest don’t wake her up for the loo as her bladder needs to recognise when it’s full. She’ll grow out of it, but in the meantime ask dr about desmopressin

Amitriptyline can be useful for bed wetting.

My DS was at least 7 when he stopped. No advice. Just pure sympathy. I will never forget a poster who once said she made her DC get up and strip the bed "if they are too lazy to get up for the toilet, they can change the sheets." Broke my heart a little. It's not laziness or something they can control, until they miraculously can. Hope that's soon for you OP. Hang in there.

Dd had bedwetting issues until around age 10. Doctor said it was hormonal so not much can be done until they start to produce the hormone. He did give her a nasal spray in the end that helped. Can't remember what it was called though sorry.

There is an organisation called ERIC which give support and advice about children's continence issues, they may have some helpful advice.

DD1 wasn't reliably dry at night until she was 10. If they are dry during the day sounds like you'll just need to wait until the hormones kick in. I feel your pain.

We went to a clinic when DS was about 7.5, and it was interesting! It worked, though I don't know really what she did... mostly talking to him and to me about how/why and some people just get that hormone to regulate it later than others. We met 4 or 5 times for a good 45 mins each time, she was very chatty. I'd thought she'd get us an alarm or something but we never had an alarm, or meds.

But what she DID recommend was upping his liquids...! Not limiting his drinks after 6pm; more like ensuring he had a good glass of water close to bedtime. She had me logging his water intake and wees. She said his bladder needed to grow - learn to contain more - and his muscles get stronger... I can't remember exactly now, that was a few years ago.

It all worked, the 'chats' and the extra water - within a month he'd stopped bedwetting.

What alarm did you use? We used one that is a flat sensor under their bottom sheet - might be worth a try if the one she doesn't like is the type that clips into their nightwear.

There’s a hormone that needs to be triggered to stop bed wetting as pps have said.

I’d go back to the doctors to discuss this.