AIBU to never let my daughter have a drink again?

[Lauraloveshimback]

Yes I know IABU. I posted this in the Health section but have had no replies. Now posting here for traffic. My daughter is 8 1/2 and still wets herself on a night so has to wear pull ups. We have tried everything - no water after 6pm, regular toilet visits, wake up at 10pm to go and wake her up early morning to go - and a mixture of these together. I have tried the alarm but she doesn’t like the feel of it. She does not wet herself in the day. I have been to see a doctor but her advice was just to persevere. Does anyone have any advice? I would be so grateful. Thank you in advance

Hang in there. DD was similar and all of a sudden it stopped. I she was such a deep sleeper, never wet in the day. I think it’s to do with enough hormone to surpress urine function. The alarm thing helped a bit.

We went through this with ds until he was at least 12. Nothing we were told to do worked, but one problem was that he just would not drink enough during the day. This was probably the root of the problem - it wasn’t until much later that I learned from a physio that one of the commonest causes of bedwetting is constipation. He did get constipated a lot.

As pp have said, you need to ensure she’s hydrated so don’t restrict fluids, but if she gets constipation that’s something to address.

With ds we kept calm about it, used waterproof mattress cover, then two layers of sheets and bed mats so that in the night we just had to quickly take off one layer and then he could get back to sleep. It really was a lot of pee sometimes. Poor lad was really embarrassed about it but we always reassured him it wasn’t his fault and he did appreciate that.

In the meantime I recommend Brolly sheets. They are cotton and quilted and can be spread over the usual sheet and removed without stripping the bed.

The threshold was age 8 for help years ago so might be worth going back to the gp. My dd needed meds

www.brollysheets.co.uk/

I think i was around 10 before i stopped wetting the bed completely. It wasn't every night but i remember a few nights a week at least. Then i just stopped. If it was an every night thing i think my mum would have looked into something to help/

A few people have mentioned blackcurrent juice - would that include things like blackcurrent no added sugar squash? This is what we always have at home, but DD does like Orange or just water anyway

While you're in the middle of it, it seems like the worst thing in the world but it doe pass and they do grow out of it. My DD was dry at night more or less as soon as she was dry during the day but DS1 was 8/9 and DS2 was 10/11 and still had the odd accident. Please try not to worry- they all get there in the end.

I was 15 before I stopped. My mum tried everything, alarms, sensors medication, etc, nothing worked. I just stopped at 15.
There is alot of evidence now to suggest its linked to hormones - so alot of kids tend to stop as they hit puberty. It's best to just support your daughter as best you can, help her to not feel bad about it because it had a big impact on me growing up.

My younger son had this problem. We tried everything including alarms and it became extremely stressful.
He was 10 when we returned to this country and the problem continued. I took him to our GP who prescribed some sort of medication (can’t remember what it was called as 30 years ago). Within one week he was dry at night. I was so angry that such a simple solution existed and our bloody expensive paediatrician hadn’t suggested it.

DN10 was an occasional bed wetter. DSIL took her to GP and GP asked whether DN was constipated. It turned out that she was. She took a very mild laxative to get things moving and bed wetting stopped. Bed wetting can be a sign of constipation apparently so may be worth monitoring your DC’s bowel movements just in case?

Its normal and its often genetic. Both of mine were late. I think DS1 was 10 and DS2 was 7.
We tried everything with DS1 who went to the enuresis clinic from 7, including the tablets, following a strict timetable with more water during the day and then stopping all fluids at 6pm. Alarm didn't work. We just kept him in drynites because him constantly waking up wet was stressing everyone out especially him.
One day he woke up dry and that was that. Nothing that we did. His body was just ready.

Stick with the alarm. Short term discomfort for long term gain. It's the only thing that worked for my dc.

How does she feel the alarm as it was under the bedding? My child was unaware they had alarm and it worked almost instantly. Expensive but well worth it. The charity ERIC are fantastic help. Most important to drink loads of water all day, no juice especially blackcurrant and ensure no constipation as most night wetting is due to undiagnosed constipation

Sorry hadnt read the previous posts. Our alarm was wireless and fantastic. I personally woudnt use one with wires. Good luck

Some alarms clip to underwear @kitchensnew.

Benji - Thanks. Yes I realized that after my first post. I definitely wouldnt recommend one with wires as that would surely affect sleep. Ours was fantastic. Child would be unaware.

Bedwetting can be hereditary and lots of kids just naturally grow out of it when they get to 11 years old
My daughter went through this and I found most GP’s clueless on the matter and their usual response was carry on.
Get in touch with the school nurses and they can refer you to the local bladder team or continence team.
My daughter had desmopressin tablets in the end which helped and then she simply stopped aged 11

This is probably going to sound batshit crazy, but neuro linguistic programming (NLP) worked for DD.

She was dry at night before her third birthday but in the run up to starting school aged 4.5 she started wetting the bed every night, sometimes more than once.

Within a week of starting affirmations with her at bedtimes it went down to once or twice a week and within 3 or 4 weeks had stopped completely.

If she went through the occasional relapse, we started doing them again at bedtime and it stopped almost instantly.

I'm aware it sounds bonkers but anything is worth a try.

www.changingstates.co.uk/issues/bed_wetting.html

Some really good advice already been suggested- in my previous work I did a children’s continence clinic often called the bed wetting clinic m, things may have changed but this is what we did, might be helpful

• rule out any urinary infection
• rule out or sort any constipation
• the majority of the time those wet at night weren’t drinking enough, so up fluids in the day depending on age ( her recommended intake should be on Eric website already posted about), as PP’s have said this encourages the bladder to hold more
• calculate bladder capacity for age then get parents to measure the urine passed over a few days and record on chart, this would usually show the bladder was holding smaller amounts hence the increase in drinks to allow and “train” the bladder to hold more
• avoid pure fruit juices and diluted black currant as these can irritate the bladder causing the child to want to pee more
• don’t restrict fluids last drink an hour before bed
• chart the accidents is it multiple times a night, little or large patches, if she is wetting 3am, 4am or 5 for example, she’s nearly there
• pull ups aren’t recommended as they are so good at soaking the urine the child isn’t woken by wetness ( saying this in the winter without a dryer, it’s horrendous if you can’t get sheets washed and dried so we would say use them if you need to but maybe over knickers do she can feel the wet)
• getting them up for dream wee’s doesn’t help really ad they are too sleepy
• as others have said the hormone that slows urine production doesn’t develop in some children until 9 yrs old or later
• your gp can refer to continence clinic, alarms can be issued, desmopressin given as others have said and also if she has an over active bladder a med called oxybutin
• fluid intake is key though until the fluids are right in the day no alarms or medication will help

Things may have changed but this was how we worked with night wetters a few years back , Also super common for her age as well, hope that helps and good luck it’s such hard work when you just want them dry

Is she scared at night.
I wet the bed until much older than your daughter simply because I was too scared to get out of bed for the toilet but I never told my mum.

I think the main urgency about this starts when the child gets to the age where they might be wanting to do sleepovers with friends or there are camps with cubs/brownies etc. They don't want to be left out or be embarrassed, so whilst it might be something that resolves itself, there is some pressure sometimes to intervene.

As you can see this is very very common.

DS is 8 and we've been referred to the school nurses who have a continence specialist. She's worked with us for about 3 months increasing drinks, monitoring wees and trying to expand his bladder.

We've now got a referral into our hospital based continence service who will hopefully rule out any other causes (bladder / bowel I guess) and then I'm really hoping they will prescribe something for sleepovers etc

Apologies if someone has already said this (I've read OP's posts but not all of the others) but I'd recommend you contact ERIC (the children's bowel and bladder charity) who have lots of experience with this sort of thing

Yes don’t take them for a sleepy wee. I did in dedd at desperation but it doesn’t teach them not to wet the bed. Funnily enough, she never did it on sleepovers or school trips. This is why I think her very deep sleep (at home) was part of it. I just had a gut feeling it would stop and didn’t want to take her to clinics as she was really shy about it. I just reasoned that not many adults have this issue so it must just stop. It did. It’s hard but she’ll get there.