AIBU to never let my daughter have a drink again?

[Lauraloveshimback]

Yes I know IABU. I posted this in the Health section but have had no replies. Now posting here for traffic. My daughter is 8 1/2 and still wets herself on a night so has to wear pull ups. We have tried everything - no water after 6pm, regular toilet visits, wake up at 10pm to go and wake her up early morning to go - and a mixture of these together. I have tried the alarm but she doesn’t like the feel of it. She does not wet herself in the day. I have been to see a doctor but her advice was just to persevere. Does anyone have any advice? I would be so grateful. Thank you in advance

Time, it will all come in time, there’s a reason pull ups can found in ages 8-15 because it’s more common than you think. I would limit caffeine and other bladder stimulants such as black currant juice.

My lad was like this until age 10. Then it just stopped, no problems since. I think it may be a genetic thing, though, because lots of his dads family had this issue.

It is a hormone. She cannot help this.

Firstly the link to ERIC above is useful for you to read.

We produce a hormone called vasopressin which suppresses urine production at night, no full bladder, no need to empty it.

Ds wet the bed until he was 10. Because of school residential trips etc we took him to the GP at 7. He was prescribed Desmopressin which is the synthetic hormone of vasopressin.

It worked, instantly dry. However, we were not prepared the medicate him all the time so we just used the Desmopressin for school trips, sleep overs and holidays. We even monitored Ds's input and output, ie he had a wee in a measuring jug so we could monitor everything.

They cannot help it if they do not make the hormone, that comes with age and it can be late. Firstly I still think there is a stigma attached to bed wetting, but they are asleep, they cannot help it. Secondly, supermarket shelves are filled with pyjama pants, why do you think they would give over precious shelf space? Because lots of children are not dry at night for a long time.

Ds wore pull ups which massively helped. I also wet the bed as did my Dad.

Mine were 7 and 8 and the alarm worked for both of them. I did wait until they wanted to use it themselves though because it's not a very nice experience. I was also told to get them having 8 200ml drinks in a day to get the bladder used to filling and then emptying fully. I had mixed success with this tbh but we probably managed 3 or 4 plus whatever they drank at school.

I should have said, we tried dream wees, alarms which worked but he woke completely hysterical, we stopped red drinks, we made sure his bladder was very full from drinking during the day and monitored his bladder capacity. Then we suddenly realised, its just wetting the bed, or pull ups in our case, nobody died, he doesn't need kidney dialysis every week. He will grow out of it and he did.

After age 7 the GP should refer them to clinic. You may be offered desmopressin, which works really well on many children.
So go back to the GP.

Wow! I didn’t expect so many replies so quickly. Thank you to all! Definitely food for thought here - and yes will head back to the gp and be a little pushier.

I have an 11 year old who still does it. We've been referred by GP to enuresis clinic. It's not their fault. There's a hormone we all secrete which suppresses kidney function at night which develops later in some children. It's hereditary. my BIL and FIL were late bedwetters too.
we've been given an alarm which is attached to the pants and makes a very loud noise if wee is detected. Think it's a form of waking up training. Don't know if it's working or whether my DC is just growing out of it but since 10th August we've had just a few wake ups compared to 15 wet nights in July. Please chat to your GP as there is help available. Also worth looking at (and supporting) the charity ERIC.

Wetting at night is generally a hormonal issue - there's nothing you can do to train them out of it until the relevant hormone kicks in and either suppresses the urge to pee, or she wakes up to go herself.

You can't just "persevere" she isn't producing the hormones she needs to wake up at night. It's a medical problem, a common one but one that can be fixed. A Dr shouldn't be telling a 7+ year old to persevere.

Ask for a referral, depending on trust it could be a urologist or an incontinence dept. My son went on medication and was slowly weaned off, at 10 he's off all meds now and completely dry.

And yes she will grow out of it, but you don't need to wait until she does, it's distressing for them and fixable until they start producing the hormones themselves so I wouldn't just wait it out.

I would stick with the alarm - it’s worked wonders for our DD. We are back using it again after a run of accidents - she is 7, almost 8.

We were completely dry following using the alarm, but have had blips this summer and last summer. I assume due to the heat and her drinking more 🤷‍♀️

We will head to the GP if the alarm doesn’t work in the longer term.

The alarm was considered pointless when my parents tried it with me around 35 years ago. All it does is alert you to urinating in the bed. But wetting the bed does that anyway! It's supposed to be a disincentive but that doesn't magically help the hormone release that stops you needing to wee at night. Considering humans aren't supposed to go 8 hours (+) straight at night it's amazing how few people are affected by this. Learning to wake then go back to sleep for a second stretch was the only thing that worked for me. The alarm didn't achieve that.

This is a bit random and probably not applicable to your situation but my daughter was dry at night from about 4 until she started a new school at 6. She was quite bullied in that school and during the two years she was there she wet the bed most nights. We got her into another school at 8 and she instantly found a group of friends and she stopped wetting the bed as she was no longer being bullied but felt safe and happy. I have since read that things such as anxiety or trauma can cause bed wetting, although it is probably more likely to be hormone.

@namechange7865

You can't just "persevere" she isn't producing the hormones she needs to wake up at night. It's a medical problem, a common one but one that can be fixed. A Dr shouldn't be telling a 7+ year old to persevere.

Ask for a referral, depending on trust it could be a urologist or an incontinence dept. My son went on medication and was slowly weaned off, at 10 he's off all meds now and completely dry.

My DD sometimes wets the bed still - we go through months where she doesn’t then weeks where it’s either nightly or multiple times per weeks. Then she is dry again. So I wasn’t sure if here is hormonal. Was your DS wet most nights before he started the meds?

The alarm was considered pointless when my parents tried it with me around 35 years ago. All it does is alert you to urinating in the bed. But wetting the bed does that anyway!

I think there are some kids who are very deep sleepers (or at least, wee when they are in a very deep sleep phase) and so would not be woken by wet sheets but would by an alarm. So gradually the alarm teaches them to associate the weeing feeling with waking up

I have to say when we used the alarm before when DD was smaller, maybe 6, she went from wetting the bed every night to not at all from night one of the alarm. The alarm went off once the whole time we used it.

Why is that?! She didn’t pee the bed again after that first night!

Our GP referred my son to a clinic. The doctor there said that he should drink more during the day in order to stretch his bladder (prob not correcr wording). It worked for DS, after a few weeks he was very rarely wetting at night.

If this hadn't worked, they were going to prescribe the tablet mentioned above.

Apparently restricting drinks can be counter productive, the bladder needs to stretch and the brain to recognise it is stretched.

One approach is to actually get them to drink more so the feedback of the full bladder kicks in.

2 of my 4 DC wet the bed until 8/9. What was worse was their bed was set up for accidents (waterproof sheet, bed mat etc) but DD especially would get in with us during the night and wet in our bed! The other 2 were dry at night as soon as they were dry in the day.

As PP says it’s not unusual as this age. Don’t restrict her drinking or lift her before you go to bed. It doesn’t help. Keep on with the pyjama pants, bed mats, and see GP about the Desmopressin (google it).

www.ruh.nhs.uk/patients/Urology/documents/patient_leaflets/UR0043_Overactive_Bladder_Syndrome.pdf

Echoing everyone who has recommended Eric

A random comment with the note this is anecdotal and I've only seen reports from adults - but I've known a lot of people to develop incontinence which clears up when they stop using products that contained particular sweeteners.

I was like that till I was around 10. When I was about 6 or 7 my mother took me to the dr who told her it was development not naughtiness. Mattress protector, pull up pants, wet wipes and plenty of spare bedding and pjs in the room. Her body just hasn't gotten there yet.