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Original poster

Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

487 replies

PoppyWoods · 02/09/2021 20:08

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

OP posts:
worriedatthemoment · 03/09/2021 18:34

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent she doesn't say she did it in her own time either , but its irrelevant really
My post was to a poster who said no one would get sacked for this
Point is purely done to be nosey and if I was her sil I would be pissed she was snooping on us regardless

worriedatthemoment · 03/09/2021 18:35

@MurielSpriggs what because people have different opinions ? And haven't all said wel done op

worriedatthemoment · 03/09/2021 18:37

@Jemand doesn't say she did or didn't but its easy to imply at work as she was in looking anyway , prob worse if she then went home and logged back into check up on all her family members
As like you say we all have access to it but can't say I have sat there looking up my family and friends

bakebeans · 03/09/2021 18:46

Have you ever thought that your SIL may actually know given her and your BIL may have joint financial arrangements. She just doesn’t want YOU to know.

LizzieW1969 · 03/09/2021 18:49

It’s not confidential, so I doubt the OP could be in trouble for doing these searches. But it was nosey and intrusive of her. It wouldn’t even occur to most of us to even think about doing such a search on family members. It isn’t as if she was doing it out of concern for her SIL, she had no reason to suspect that her BIL was about to go bankrupt.

Nayday · 03/09/2021 19:01

A few possible scenarios here:

  • SIL doesn't know (unlikely with all the associated paper work and letters arriving to the house) - a very difficult point to hide from someone you're married to. But if she doesn't - you'll tell her and she'll know. She may be relieved, or actually pissed with you for snooping (shoot the messenger type thing).
Or
  • SIL knows, and didn't tell you. You'll 'tell' her and she'll be pissed at you for snooping, and annoyed you know their business. Highly likely - not exactly a point one goes around announcing. This scenario could actually end a positive relationship. Can you risk that?

You found out and that part is done, but really you need to forget it. It's none of your business and a good reason to not look up people you know, even though it's public information.

WhatAShilohPitt · 03/09/2021 19:03

It is absolutely none of your business and I’m not sure why you feel you should know anything about their personal finances - you seem slightly offended by the thought that nobody confided in you! You had no reason to look other people up except sheer nosiness. I’m glad that other posters are telling you that you’re out of line!

Nayday · 03/09/2021 19:07

@PoppyWoods the 'nerve or two' that you've touched on here that you refer to may actually be a useful indicator on how your SIL will react when you inform her you checked on her business ie seems it's a standard reaction, you probably need to consider that.

MorganKitten · 03/09/2021 19:55

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything.

Why? That’s rude and weird.

Excelthetube · 03/09/2021 23:02

Still can’t believe there are idiots out there in the world that think she’s going to be in trouble at work for using a public database.

Especially a public database that’s run by the government.

Crikeyalmighty · 03/09/2021 23:06

Am I cynic in now thinking some on here will be outraged and at sometime in the future be possibly doing the same , now they know this info is out there — sadly I have quite a low opinion on human nature

takehomepay · 03/09/2021 23:20

@Crikeyalmighty

Am I cynic in now thinking some on here will be outraged and at sometime in the future be possibly doing the same , now they know this info is out there — sadly I have quite a low opinion on human nature
Why would they? I haven’t done it myself but I would not be interested in checking to see if anyone I know has gone bankrupt. Those who are closest to me who have done it have told me. I’ve heard people say bankruptcy is under-used and I agree, so fair play to whoever does it, if they’re desperate.
skyisblue21 · 04/09/2021 00:43

How correct is the register. I know someone that is bankrupt and they didn't appear in that register

Madge55 · 04/09/2021 04:09

My pedantic tic is firing-If it's her brother in law that is bankrupt then it is her sister she potentially will tell.
I have had money issues historically never told a soul especially not my siblings. Not married or in long term relationship at the time so only affected me. Never as far as bankruptcy but if my siblings were being nosey that used to really p me off. I would never want to know their business but they had no right to fish around in mine. We all can be a bit nosey but I think you've overstepped the mark here and now you know something you technically shouldn't, public register or not. If your sister wanted you to know she would tell you. If she doesn't know then as his wife surely it would influence their financial choices, credit cards, hp, mortgages, and limits on borrowing etc and she would find out eventually. Covid has thrown up alot of crappy situations for people so maybe that has made a bad situation worse for them. Now you're aware the subtleties of their finances may become more evident over time eg no holidays and less indulgent at Christmas but it's not your business unless she makes it your business and tells you.

willithappen · 04/09/2021 07:51

@Madge55

My pedantic tic is firing-If it's her brother in law that is bankrupt then it is her sister she potentially will tell. I have had money issues historically never told a soul especially not my siblings. Not married or in long term relationship at the time so only affected me. Never as far as bankruptcy but if my siblings were being nosey that used to really p me off. I would never want to know their business but they had no right to fish around in mine. We all can be a bit nosey but I think you've overstepped the mark here and now you know something you technically shouldn't, public register or not. If your sister wanted you to know she would tell you. If she doesn't know then as his wife surely it would influence their financial choices, credit cards, hp, mortgages, and limits on borrowing etc and she would find out eventually. Covid has thrown up alot of crappy situations for people so maybe that has made a bad situation worse for them. Now you're aware the subtleties of their finances may become more evident over time eg no holidays and less indulgent at Christmas but it's not your business unless she makes it your business and tells you.
Or it's her husbands brother/sister and partner - making both her brother and sister in law no?
DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 04/09/2021 08:17

How correct is the register. I know someone that is bankrupt and they didn't appear in that register

If you are at risk of violence you can ask not to appear by applying to the Court. Not w common procedure but some people do it.

Apart from that, it's usually completely accurate.

mumtoallbhoys · 04/09/2021 08:27

I think OP is getting a hard time here, she hasn't done anything illegal. It is a new tool she was given and she was just messing about... the same way when google earth was first about we looked up our house, ex boyfriend's house etc. No really drama just intrigue. Don't get me wrong if I was bankrupt and someone looked me up I probably would be gutted but I would know that information was going to be in the public domain.

Anyway back to the question.., Do you have any other reason to think she wouldn't know? Like has he hidden things in the past?

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 04/09/2021 08:29

Anyway back to the question.., Do you have any other reason to think she wouldn't know? Like has he hidden things in the past

OP has already come back to say that he's hidden gambling debts in the past. So yes, he does have firm for hiding things that would affect them both financially.

MurielSpriggs · 04/09/2021 09:55

We all can be a bit nosey but I think you've overstepped the mark here and now you know something you technically shouldn't, public register or not.

The reason there is a register is because we are all entitled to know who's on it. In fact if you are speaking "technically", technically we do all know who's on the register! It's presumed knowledge. The register is notice to the world. It would not be a valid argument in law to say that you didn't know someone was bankrupt when that information is freely available on a register exactly so that anyone can check.

Bankruptcy has a lot of advantages to the bankrupt, not least being released from his debts. There are quite a few downsides to balance it out, and a public record is one of them. The message is that someone who has been declared bankrupt is likely to be unreliable or incompetent when it comes to financial obligations, and other people are entitled to know that.

GnomeDePlume · 04/09/2021 10:04

@skyisblue21 I believe you are removed from the register after 12 months. Is it possible that the person had been made bankrupt longer ago than that?

WineInTheBlood · 04/09/2021 10:17

@PoppyWoods you've probably had this answered by now, but there are so many posts. I actually work in insolvency and yes, it's entirely possible that he's either been declared bankrupt by a creditor, or petitioned himself without his wife's knowledge. The petition now is a simple online application and most if not all paperwork is sent by email.

You said though that they jointly own the house and so if she doesn't know, she definitely will very soon. Also if they have any joint bank accounts she will have found out by now as they'll have been frozen almost immediately.

As you know she'll definitely find out, maybe just don't say anything? You telling her won't change the outcome for her and it's very likely that she knows by now so it'll just probably cause conflict between you.

cricketmum84 · 04/09/2021 12:46

That's really not "accidentally"....

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 04/09/2021 13:18

*he does have form.

forinborin · 04/09/2021 13:30

99% that she does know. It is something that would be really hard, practically impossible to conceal from a spouse (assuming they live together and don't keep 100% separate budgets).

Jemand · 04/09/2021 22:02

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Jemand doesn't say she did or didn't but its easy to imply at work as she was in looking anyway , prob worse if she then went home and logged back into check up on all her family members
As like you say we all have access to it but can't say I have sat there looking up my family and friends [/quote]
If her employers don't object - and OP has confirmed they don't - then the issue of her doing this at work is totally irrelevant. Every office I've worked in, people have been perfectly free to use the computer for their own purposes within limits and provided it doesn't affect their work productivity. If OP spent 5 minutes mucking around on this website but worked 5 minutes overtime, would any employer realistically care?

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