Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

[PoppyWoods]

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

This is rapidly turning into cancel the cheque!

So just tell her what you found, what's the worse that can happen. She will either say she knows but didnt want anyone else involved or she will say she didnt know. If she asks have you told anyone else just say yes, discussed it with DH and posted it on mn, if she gets upset or angry then deal with it at the time. If her H gets angry that you snooped then deal with that too and apologise for being nosy and bored at work.

I am amazed at all these people who are never curious or bored!

For what to do, I think I would not say directly to SIL, but (assuming you like her and want to be supportive) I'd make an extra effort to stay in touch and give her space to talk about her life.
Even if she doesn't know, there will be repercussions in her life, so she needs a friend.
Think of this as a helpful signal to you to actively be her friend before she is really struggling.

You were being nosy and something you discovered something, it’s handy in these situations to think before you act as obs now you’ve found out you can’t unknow and you want to tell your sister. I would too. But will your sister be happy you’re snooping I know mine wouldn’t!! It’s none of my business you should’ve thought about the consequences of your actions in this case. Especially if it’s done in work time on work equipment.

I’m a nurse and I can’t look up anyone I know or my family on work time on computers to even find out the date of an appointment nor can my colleagues do it for me. It’s not allowed for good reason. This may be a public register but it’s also part of your job. Seems an odd thing to do it wouldn’t cross my mind to access this register and enter people I know details into it.

@justfuckoffthelottayer

I think you may find you are breaking all sorts of data protection and fsa rules and laws by randomly searching people you know, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a sackable offence people have a right to privacy and you have no right to snoop. None of your business they didn't tell you because they don't want or need to discuss it with you so keep your nose out and stop spying on people.

Agree with this.

@Tinkerbellfluffyboots79

You were being nosy and something you discovered something, it’s handy in these situations to think before you act as obs now you’ve found out you can’t unknow and you want to tell your sister. I would too. But will your sister be happy you’re snooping I know mine wouldn’t!! It’s none of my business you should’ve thought about the consequences of your actions in this case. Especially if it’s done in work time on work equipment.

I’m a nurse and I can’t look up anyone I know or my family on work time on computers to even find out the date of an appointment nor can my colleagues do it for me. It’s not allowed for good reason. This may be a public register but it’s also part of your job. Seems an odd thing to do it wouldn’t cross my mind to access this register and enter people I know details into it.

Medical info in a private database is entirely different. OP accessed public data published by the goverment.

15 pages in and this is still not clear to everyone?

Seems an odd thing to do it wouldn’t cross my mind to access this register and enter people I know details into it

I bet that's only because you didn't know about it. Be honest, if you thought someone you knew might be on the register, would you really go all holier-than-thou and refuse to check? Even if you were thinking of lending money to them?

I am sure OP can fess up ask her employer if this was morally and legally ok and if it's a disciplinary offense just to clarify the situation for us all.

Why do you agree that this could break data protection rules, @DoItAfraid? Which section of the Act does looking at information on a public website breach?

Just for those who still try to hang on to whether there is GDPR or HR issues, here is one of multiple ways to view the register for insolvency/bankruptcy as well as disqualified directors

Public record.years ago, before I tweet, the gazette would be published similar to a news paper and readily available just like ordering a newspaper or going to the library to read it as well as past publications on microfiche

www.gov.uk/search-bankruptcy-insolvency-register

Urghhhhh

SeptemberAlexandra
If I was the SIL I’d be pretty annoyed that someone was snooping on my family, irrespective of whether it was public information or not.
Would you still feel the same if you hadnt known about the bankruptcy? I seriously doubt it.

I would consider neither one of them trustworthy or worthy of my time. They would both have breached my trust. So, yes, I would have felt exactly the same.

@MurielSpriggs

It worked when I tried it just now putting a random surname on.

It's very odd, I get the message in the picture. (Obviously I'm a nice respectable lady, and would definitely not be using to look at neighbours, colleagues, ex-husbands etc.)

Wrong register perhaps

www.gov.uk/government/organisations/insolvency-service

Never ceases to amaze me, the onslaught of idiocy, projection and not RTFT on mumsnet.
The very few articulate voices of sanity just about make it worthwhile posting, but ffs, the inability to think past one's knee-jerk reaction

I've worked in many a job where looking up people on various databases/ paperwork for non-work related reasons would get you fired.
None of these were public registers, designed to be accessed by the public, to find out about other members of the public. Because that is a key difference.

Op can you see if there is a notice in the paper and tell BIL you saw it?

No it isn't a Data breach for looking up someone on a public register!
Yes, your SIL will know as she would probably have to provide her information for the OR ( our rules are different North of the Border, but unlikely that a spouse wouldn't know due to the information to be provided). I work in the Advice sector.
Your SIL didn't tell you for a reason, because most people are embarrassed about money issues. Oh and because of the fact that it is none of your damn business.
And I would keep quiet! Even on the slim chance she doesn't know , she won't thank you for your deliberate snooping, ditto ig she does.
What do you think will be gained by this, apart from a " I know something you don't know"

This is the real crux of the matter, not accessing a public website.
If he is a compulsive gambler there will be lies, deceit and almost definitely loans and credit she knows nothing about. It's the nature of the beast.
So it is entirely feasible she knows nothing about this. Will she eventually, yes probably.

But if you read the OPs posts and can get past the fact she is going to lose her job for accessing public information (not) and is probably the worst person ever for putting family names into a public data base (like loads of people do), you see that she states she has a close relationship with SIL and have discussed personal things before AND the BIL has a history of secretive gambling debts.
So it is reasonable to think the SIL might not know. As PP have very clearly said, there can be situations when the first a spouse knows is when the house is taken or the bailiffs arrive.
Don't assume all communication has got to the SIL from creditors or the Courts.
Just read the threads on living with a pathological gambler to see what they will do to facilitate their addiction.

It's a really tough one but I would say something. I would say you came across it on the public register and just wondered if there was anything you could do to offer support in getting through it. No judgement but just supportive.

It's fine to tell her, it's public information after all. No different to telling her that a house on her street sold for 230K last month or that the director of a company has a registered address down the road. It's just mundane everyday information, it's not harmful information because otherwise it wouldn't be publicly available. Even if he hasn't told her, he should have been aware that she could find out.

You just need to be a little cautious as to how you've done it, you don't want to come across as being bitchy or point scoring (not "Guess what I've found out about your husband!"). Try to be sensitive and aware that she might not react well.

Ultimately if he is hiding the truth from her, she needs to know. Not necessarily because him being bankrupt is anything to be ashamed of (depending on how he got into that position) but because of the deceit.

[quote luckylavender]@blueshoes - how am I scare mongering? If the OP has nothing to hide she'll be fine. [/quote]
You are are scare mongering because OP has nothing to hide. She will be fine. I am afraid your advice is misleading.

OP does not work in Financial Services. OP is not accessing a company confidential database - for the nth time, it is a public database meant for public to check.

At most, it is a breach of her company's IT Acceptable Use Policy if she accesses the internet during work hours (we do not know that) or if she is skivving during work hours (hey, tell me you have never done that). I can assure you that managers have bigger fish to fry than to monitor internet usage and if they wanted to enforce the 'employment contract' to the letter, then be prepared for the manager and almost all the workforce to be fired for these peccadillos.

Under data protection rules employers are also not always entitled to monitor employee internet activity. Employers have to balance the employees' expectation of privacy and the employer must have a legitimate interest to monitor and have clear policies around it, particularly if the employer wishes to discipline or sack for such breaches.

Yes, you are scare mongering in the OP's case.

@PoppyWoods if you want to make sure your SIL knows but without the fallout of your snooping, then print a copy of the order and post it to her.

Anonymous tipoffs are rarely a good idea because then she will be preoccupied with "who is the mystery sender? " (and it's likely to all come out anyway)

I'm going with the minority view YANBU. It wasn't my first instinct, but as you say it is public information, and it's also something that could hurt SIL if he somehow manages to cover up.

Isn't it not uncommon for a man to have a financial screwup and the first the wife knows is when the bailiffs knock on the door to evict her and the children?

@SeptemberAlexandra

Urghhhhh

SeptemberAlexandra
If I was the SIL I’d be pretty annoyed that someone was snooping on my family, irrespective of whether it was public information or not.
Would you still feel the same if you hadnt known about the bankruptcy? I seriously doubt it.

I would consider neither one of them trustworthy or worthy of my time. They would both have breached my trust. So, yes, I would have felt exactly the same.

Oh wow...

The glee is just pouring out of all your posts, OP

No it isn't.
What a bizarre thing to write.

@FleasInMyKnees she doesn't need to ask her employer. It's a public database she checked, one that any of us can access. What possible legal issue do you think arises here?

@Jemand

No Data Protection issues, public register

That’s irrelevant that it’s a public register. You should only be accessing an individual’s data as and when your job requires it. Not to snoop on people you know

Self-evidently, the fact that it's a pubic register is 100% relevant to the question of whether there are Data Protection issues. Why do you think otherwise, @BritWifeInUSA?

I didn’t mention anything about data protection issues. I don’t know why you misinterpreted my list to assume that I did. I’m talking about ethics and morals. Just because the information is in the public domain, doesn’t mean it’s right to snoop.

She snooped because she wanted to find something, otherwise she wouldn’t have snooped. Now that she’s found something, she should have the decency to tell the people that she looked them up and what she found. If she can’t bear to do that, it shows she knows it was ethically and morally wrong.