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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
MdNdD · 03/09/2021 22:33

So it screamed weird to me until I re-read the the order of events. Perhaps husband just wanted to eat steak with someone? Given you are a vegetarian. Though as I write that it sounds like code for something bedroom related…
Emerging from a very nasty divorce where my sociopath husband took control of the money and went out of his way to hide it away, I think you are so very sensible to have your own money and investments. It is not about expecting your marriage to fail, it is about being able to take care of yourself (and kids if there are any) should something awful happen. No one can predict the future and awful things happen to good people. I will never merge finances again after my experience.

LalalalalalaLand123 · 03/09/2021 22:56

Your not-so-"D"-H is a total dick.
HE offered you the massage as a treat, HE (bizarrely!!) offered the massage person a steak dinner (just totally bizarre), the he CHARGED YOU £20 for this steak dinner - on top of which you are veggie. I am just astounded. I've never heard of anything so odd. I could not contemplate a marriage to someone like this. As they say on MN, his actions would make my fanny drier than the Saraha dessert.

Blackcat333 · 03/09/2021 23:03

Ugh, I hope she washed her hands... Steak breath too

🥩🤮

Blackcat333 · 03/09/2021 23:05

I'm actually crying I'm laughing 😂 so much.

Yorkshiretolondon · 03/09/2021 23:07

Open a joint account t and both pay equal amounts into that for food, take always and general household shopping

Harls1969 · 03/09/2021 23:08

Wow, we've been to Costco tonight and you can get 4 massive fillet steaks for £35 so you've definitely been overcharged. It's very odd him offering her a meal (it's not even 14th March so not steak and blow job night!). Also I'm another one who doesn't get the separate bank account thing. We have a joint account. DH earns 3 times as much as me - but it's all OUR money. And he might earn the majority of the money, but I do the majority of the cleaning and I also passed his huge son out of my tiny vagina Grin

watingroom2 · 03/09/2021 23:14

I have a personal account and a shared joint account with OH (the steak would have come out of the joint account.. although I would have been asking him what he was doing offering a a masseuse - a steak!)

SummerHouse · 03/09/2021 23:16

@GeorgiaMcGraw I use the wax melting pot as a bain-marie for the sauce of course!

Tiantian21 · 03/09/2021 23:24

Run for the Hills!

katesbushh · 03/09/2021 23:30

I'm nor sure what I'm more horrified by.

The couples massage (at home)
The financial set up
The meal served to beautician after
Or the previous poster who said they would want roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings... with a steak! Shock

I met the beautician went home and was like " you know that shirley and trevor, I did their massage and they cooked me a steak dinner..wtf Grin"

katesbushh · 03/09/2021 23:31
  • not

** bet

RAOK · 03/09/2021 23:45

You’re about to become swingers. If you’re going to share one another, you may as well share a bank account too.

Kiduknot · 04/09/2021 00:13

Ah well, as long as she enjoyed your husbands meat and two veg, and it wasn’t forced down her throat, then so what?

rachtimm · 04/09/2021 00:16

I think he was hoping for more than just a massage.

Phobiaphobic · 04/09/2021 00:23

This whole thing is a wind up, isn't it?

Darbysmama · 04/09/2021 00:25

I genuinely don’t understand the division of finances. You’re married. You share a life together. You share a home together. Sharing finances only makes sense! What’s the reason to not have a joint account??? Then silly things like this wouldn’t even be an issue???

MrsJuliaGulia · 04/09/2021 00:40

The thread has 717 message as I type so I’m sure it’s moved on, I haven’t read any of it bad the very first post and to that I say. YANBU. The steak was his gesture, he should buy it.

MissyMooKins · 04/09/2021 01:41

What a mean thing for him to do. You basically paid towards your massage.

Bleachmycloths · 04/09/2021 03:28

Seriously weird. Almost creepy…

LuvMyBubbles · 04/09/2021 03:33

Weird set up Hmm

silverlinin · 04/09/2021 04:59

Did she give him a happy ending?

LEMtheoriginal · 04/09/2021 08:30

Nah, im notbuyung thus at all. The OP clearly thinks she's terribly funny though.

CamdenLurker · 04/09/2021 08:48

@LEMtheoriginal

Nah, im notbuyung thus at all. The OP clearly thinks she's terribly funny though.
Yeah I this op is trying to kick off a career as a comedian.

It's not funny, just really weird.

sue20 · 04/09/2021 08:48

Sorry to say this but it sounds as though possibly your DH knows this masseuse in some context unbeknown to you. The fact that he invited her to lunch without asking what you thought? The fact that she accepted? The fact that it’s supposed to be a professional work relationship???? Sorry

Shade17 · 04/09/2021 08:50

How does steak for 2 people cost £40???

Very easily if you want it to. Check out Tom Hixson, get most of my steak there. A world apart from any supermarket shit.

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