DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

[atleastthepoochlovesme]

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

Jesus. I couldn't live like this. Faffing around with who owes what. Having separate finances is fine but sometimes it's just ott.

@ChargingBuck

I don't have a joint account with my DH due to his debts he had with his ex that took years to sort out, so I don't think that is odd.
Cooking the masseur a steak dinner is so weird I would think something more is going on there.
Charging you for it is the icing on the top of the weird cake.

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@GreyhoundG1rl fillet steak from the local butcher. Not sure where you get yours from but maybe you could recommend some cheaper London butchers?! Would be most grateful![/quote]
@GreyhoundG1rl
For £40 I would expect 3 fillet steaks of 400g each!!! Was it £40 for you the steak for the therapist or has he charged you half of the total cost (so effectively for her steak).
It's all a bit strange but at worst I would expect to pay half of the cost of her's not half the total.

Wtf kind of Twilight-Zone marriage is this!?

I'm baffled....I mean, you as well live in separate houses at this point.

Separate bedrooms, to?

I would at least want roast pots and Yorkshire puds with the steak 😁

Funnily enough I once took my two boys for haircuts costing £7 each. Chatting to the barber like you do and he said he'd had a delivery from the local butcher and that they do lovely steak. I said 'oooh, I love a good steak' and he insisted on giving me two of his steaks to take for me and DH and a specially prepared pepper sauce as well. He would not take a 'oh that's lovely but I really can't' fifteen times. 🤣🤣 it was a lovely steak though I must say 🤣👍

I agree very odd, I can't help wondering who paid for the chips and peas!!:)

@donamich81

I would at least want roast pots and Yorkshire puds with the steak 😁

With a steak?! Do people do that?

I imagine all this taking place in a Bates Motel or 10 Rillington Place type house.

Creepy!

London prices? I live in central London and even so there's no way a fillet seak costs £40 at a butchers unless it weighed about a kilo.

I don’t understand couples especially married ones that keep their own money and split household bills?? My husband and I have a joint bank account to which both our wages go into and the bills come out of. I have a savings account that I’ve had for donkeys years but we use this for holiday funds and hubby normally says can you transfer savings as he doesn’t have access as it’s in my name and I just do it (I’ve had account since I was 18). I just don’t get this separate money thing and household bills can someone explain it ???? #baffled

I live for these glimpses into the lives of others. I’m reasonably relaxed about the money thing, but I’m with the PP who asked why OP didn’t nip this in the bud way before it became about the £20.
Some of the responses on here are hysterical .

@traintraveller

I think this is all very petty TBH

this

@ChelleMum85

Wtf kind of Twilight-Zone marriage is this!?

I'm baffled....I mean, you as well live in separate houses at this point.

Separate bedrooms, to?

I know, odd isn't it. Loving the twilight zone description

Do you not have any friends you can invite round for a steak dinner so therefore hubby is forced to invite the therapist?
I honestly think this is one of the most fucking strangest things I have ever read on MN and that says something
Feeding the therapist a steak after a couples massage wow, and all you were worried about was £20 🤣🤣

I understand having your own money but have you ever thought of setting up a joint account for household expenses? That way you transfer whatever you need on average and add a bit for unforeseen expenses. The idea of adding it up every month just seems bizarre.
It’s like you are saying we are in this together but not really.

So I am only adding in my sisters situation. Her husband of 17 years insists she pays half of everything. She works 30 hours per week to be home to cook his dinner (she is a school catering manager). The have each been married before and their respective children are grown up. If they go out for a meal they pay half each. I think this is bloody weird. She pleads poverty and he has a new flash car every other year. He earns at least twice her wage. I earn many times my husbands salary but you know i spend what I like when I like. He pays our living costs as he is old fashioned. If I lost my job he would just carry on (and I have many times as I work in volitile companies) A meal out? He pays unless I said my treat. I agree with the poster who said sounds like house mates. If you became ill and unable to contribute would he step up? I do most of the home front stuff and I do a 'Jerry hall'. However tight fisted never works long term.

I bloody love threads like this. Weirdness of cooking for the masseuse, along with offshoot discussions about the benefits of joint accounts, and the price of steak.

We have the same financial setup but the rest sounds strange to me!

OP this is not so weird. We do this sort of thing all the time.

My Saturday to do list:

Tuck prawns in bra to warm through.
Welcome in beautician.
Get bikini wax.
Serve prawns to beautician whilst DH eats cheese on toast and watches.
Clear up whilst DH has toenails clipped.
Charge DH £68 for prawns.
Read DH thread on MN "but I'm a pescatarian!"

Not weird.

@linsey2581

I don’t understand couples especially married ones that keep their own money and split household bills?? My husband and I have a joint bank account to which both our wages go into and the bills come out of. I have a savings account that I’ve had for donkeys years but we use this for holiday funds and hubby normally says can you transfer savings as he doesn’t have access as it’s in my name and I just do it (I’ve had account since I was 18). I just don’t get this separate money thing and household bills can someone explain it ???? #baffled

I'm not going to explain it to you, because if you are baffled by the simple fact that other people run their finances differently from you & that is perfectly fine & dandy for them, you are never going to get it.

@SummerHouse

OP this is not so weird. We do this sort of thing all the time.

My Saturday to do list:

Tuck prawns in bra to warm through.
Welcome in beautician.
Get bikini wax.
Serve prawns to beautician whilst DH eats cheese on toast and watches.
Clear up whilst DH has toenails clipped.
Charge DH £68 for prawns.
Read DH thread on MN "but I'm a pescatarian!"

Not weird.

That's the spirit, Summer.

I would say there’s a little more going on if he’s offered and cooked a steak for somebody who was there to do their job.