DD refusing to wear sanitary products

[Cocopogo]

DD is 12, she’s on her third period and refuses to wear sanitary pads. She says they are uncomfortable. I help her put one on and ensure she has spares etc but then she goes to the bathroom and removes it. She’s possibly got sensory issues too. She has stained my car seat and the carpet due to this. Anyone else had this problem? How did you overcome it?

I use these, maybe the patterns might help appeal?
https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/RagHagShop

Sorry if it's already been said, but have you tried washable cotton pads? I moved to these for environmental reasons and then discovered they are 100% more comfortable too. Sometimes they more around a bit so I use doubled sided tape.

Sorry OP but this has changed direction a bit. If she's been having seizures surely you've been to the GP? And they may be linked to different neuro issues?

But of not, I think getting your hands near a 12 year olds pants to check and washing her hair whilst she's in the bath is just, well, not nice.

If she's never really felt like her body is private in any way, why would stains bother her? I'd rather wall around town with blood on my trousers than my mum put her hands in my pants??

Oh another thing, our school take part in a government programme that sends free sanitary wear to schools this includes a mixture of disposable towels and tampons, moon cups, reusable pads and period pants girls can request them whenever they need them. If her school takes part in a similar scheme the head of year might be able to sort out a selection for her to try so you aren't out of pocket working out what she will use. We were trying to get rid of stock at the end of last year ready for new bits to come this year so they might have a surplus.

Are you understating the extent of her SEN? Having to check a twelve year old is wearing a pad before she goes out because she takes them off and stains things but doesn’t care is a long way from neurotypical behaviour

Have you given her a few options of different style pads?

My dd is 11 and has high functioning autism. she uses period pants which I bought off the WUKA website. She loves them. No need for pads etc. You just wash them in cold water. Wish I had them at her age.

@pokemeinthemorning It depends what type of. Pants you buy with cheeky wipes and modibody and several other brands you do not have to wear anything else. I tend to use a pad or tampon in the morning if it's a heavy day and then just pants in the afternoon, saves changing middle of the day if you are heavy. These brands are about £9+ a pair.

Some brands are more a waterproof liner to prevent leaks I believe and you use them with other sanitary products. I haven't tried these but I believe primark seel them and some from amazon, Id expect them to be cheaper.

I bought Dd this kit to start with and the lillettes disposable teen pack so she had choice. She chose pants, reusable pads when at home and didn't like the plasticyness of the disposable or the environmental impacts.

@5zeds

I would say make her clean up after herself and buy period pants. It’s an unusual and confrontational attitude is she comfortable with becoming an adult? Does she clean herself in other ways (eg wash her body? Hair? Clean her teeth?)

It's either unusual nor confrontational - what an unhelpful thing to say. I have always used pads but they are not always very comfortable and you have to get used to them. I didn't like wearing a bra to begin with either.

As for tampons, well I couldn't use them until I'd had a baby - and even now I only use them if swimming. We are all different!

OK I should have read the full thread. But the suggestions on here might be useful for other girls who don't like pads and can't get a tampon in.

I wish I'd thought of black knickers a long time before I did!

Are you sure period pants are odourless? People with sensory issues can have an incredible sense of smell - not quite as good as the family dog, but close.

@spaceshiptomars they really don't smell if you change them a couple of times a day, which leads me to think that the smell you get from a pad is due to the chemicals reacting with the oxidising blood.

Thank you HP :)

The pads she's refusing - are they scented? It's getting harder and harder to find ones that don't make your fanny reek like a magic tree air freshener and oh my fucking God they make me itch like buggery - we're talking this foof is on fire level itch - and the smell is just vile.

My daughter is 10 she turns 11 in a couple of months and started hers. We’d had a chat before hand so she knew as she has a very moody older sister.

I’d bought all kinds of pads and tampons for me eldest so she could pick what she wanted.

Now both have period pants, have found wuka the best.

They both have swimming lessons and use modibodi red swimsuits and these are fabulous, such a lovely fit and they feel so confident in them. The knickers or swimsuit doesn’t smell or anything wish they had this when I was a teen

When my youngest started I showed her on a clean pair of knickers how to apply a pad. Answered questions and that was that I’d never check.

Are the Primark ones any good? DD1 and DD2 have Modibodis, but DD3 has just started and Modibodi are out of stock in their boyshorts, plus they're £23 each DD1 needs a replacement set because she's grown, too.

Period pants. All sorts available, Primark do them at a good price.

Can I derail a little bit and ask about period pants? Since having my second child I have 1 day that's extremely heavy and I hate wearing pads, and tampons are now uncomfortable can period pants cope with extreme heaviness? The other 2 days are very light after that.

Also I'm a size 18, do they do them big enough? If so can someone please recommend ones to try?

Many thanks

My daughter has sensory issues and she uses cloth pads and period pants.

She's also crap at changing them so the two together have been useful. She won't use the loos at school 🤦🏽‍♀️

If your daughter has sensory issues it is likely she won't try tampons, my girl is now 14 and still won't entertain the idea.

@grandtheftwalrus I'm a size 18 and get mine from cheeky wipes, I like them because the absorbant bit goes from front waistband to back.

In terms of dealing with heaviness they can but you may have to change them midday. I'd try them out on a day you are at home or use them overnight to see how they work for you. As I said up thread I avoid having to change them midday by wearing with with another form of sanitary wear in the morning and wearing by themselves in the afternoon. If you haven't tried disposable sanitary pads before whilst they are a little bulkier (depending on the absorbancey) they are alot more comfortable than disposable ones. Maybe buy a selection pack I linked to up thread so you can try reusable pants and pads and make a decision.

I wear M&S heavy ones. I actually change my pants at work half way through on my heaviest day but otherwise they last me my full day. Pads disposable and reusable are annoying as F to me, they move around and feel funny. I have ASD.

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime thanks! I would prefer the ones that were bigger. I'm on mat leave till April so trying them in the house would be fine. And so far my 1st 3 periods after them returning have came on the dates they were meant to.

I'll go back through the thread and get the link you posted.

Are the Primark ones any good? DD1 and DD2 have Modibodis, but DD3 has just started and Modibodi are out of stock in their boyshorts, plus they're £23 each shock DD1 needs a replacement set because she's grown, too

DD has ModiBodi teens but I’ve bought her some Primark fir her lighter days after reading the recommendations on MN. DD seems to like them

Period pants give me the ick. I used tampons as soon as I started my periods and still do. Would she not try tampons?

Period pants have different absorbancies.

A normal flow with the right absorbency she should be able to wear a put throughout the school day. Or change at lunch.

Just out the used ones in a wash bag.

I have a bin with a lid at home and put some cold water in and Chuck them in.

Then wash on cold wash with just powder and hang out to dry (no not tumble!)

Dependent on how many she does through and how many you have you may wash everyday or every other day. They can take 24 hours to dry in a normal temp house.