My husband's nighttime wee

[canichange]

Every night between 3 and 4 am, my husband gets up and goes for a wee in our en-suite. It's a fairy big bedroom and a big bathroom, so it's not like he is 'in the room', but he wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep.

He's been doing it forever, but we have a 4 and 2 year old who wake for the day between 5 and 5:30 and it's exhausting. If I'm lucky enough to doze back off to sleep, it's never long before the DCs are up so I'd only ever manage to grab a few minutes max.

He tries to be quiet but we live in an old house which creaks. I wouldn't mind if it was the odd night here and there, but it's basically every night. My day started before 4am today

He seems to think it's just his body clock that wakes him up and he needs to go for a wee to be able to get back to sleep I told him to stop drinking anything after teatime to see if he can break the habit - like when you are trying to get a toddler dry at night!

So:
YABU - let the poor man have his wee and go back to sleep.
YANBU - he needs to train himself to break the habit.

yabu but he needs to see a doctor

I’m the one who suffers from insomnia on and off and has to get up in the night. So my DH goes into our spare bedroom on nights like that, as there’s no sense in us both being knackered the following day!

I do recommend that solution. I remember when our DD2 used to wake up at 5am, when she was 1-2 years old, and it was brutal. You need to get what sleep you can.

I know this is light-hearted, but I do feel your pain. Sleep deprivation when you have small DC is really hard to cope with.

Just get him to use the main bathroom. Problem solved. He gets his wee. You get your sleep.

i dont think it is normal at his age and think he should use another loo and visit a GP

You can get creaking floorboards fixed. A good builder can do it.

Separate bedrooms? Earplugs for you?

YANBU...my DH also gets up in the night in the en-suite for a very loud wee. Probably sounds so loud because the house is quiet. It drives me up the pole. I never get up...not even when I was pregnant.
I would send him in the spare room where he doesn't have the en-ensuite. Maybe that will change his weeing ways

Yabu

He gotta go, he gotta go

You need to train yourself not to hear it so much

Does he pee with the door open?

Has he been tested for diabetes?

Unless he's over 60 or has a medical condition this shouldn't be happening.

@Polmuggle

Maybe I should have asked whether it sounds normal for a man in his early 30s to need a wee during the night pretty much every night?

No, surely that's abnormal? A 30yo is quite capable of holding their bladder for 8hours!

Depends on the 30yo.

I've always needed to up for a pee in the night ever since I was toilet trained, basically. My parents don't remember me EVER sleeping through the night and as an adult it's probably happened 4-5 times.

YANBU - This only happens to me during a heatwave because i've downed so much water. He shouldn't drink as much after 9pm imo.

Does he need to see the GP? Does he have to pee frequently during the day, ie on car journeys? could be a medical reason.

I don't know why people think it's diabetes/prostate when it's always between 3 and 4. It's more likely just the last drink of the night combined with his body being trained to wake up at that time.

My body clock is so screwed I wake up at around 5 am regardless of when I went to sleep. It's a hoot.

@ittakes2

He should get his prostrate checked or check for diabetes

Because he pees once a night?

I’m usually up 3-4 times. I put the lamp on in my room (separate bedrooms) and then toilet on the dark and don’t flush.

The woman who goes every 90 mins sounds a bit unhealthy though. You need to see a doctor x

YABU

@1987qwerty

Unless he's over 60 or has a medical condition this shouldn't be happening.

That's really not always the case.

Some people just need to pee more often than others.

Catheter. It's the way forward 😂

Wow YABU. I get up to wee at least twice in the night. If my partner told me to not go to the toilet I’d tell him to fuck off

Prostate check, just to err on the side of caution.

YANBU, if he can take simple steps to stop this he should. Sleep is precious.

I went to the loo every night around that time. In the last 18m I have struggled to get back to sleep. I worked hard to limit what I drank after dinner. We usually eat before 7 which helps. Now about 70% of nights I wake up, role over and go back to sleep. I never thought it would be possible to change but it was! Prior to that I would routinely get up to 'reset' and go back to sleep.

Separately to that, can you prevent yourself waking? By investing in a new mattress that doesn't bounce when DH gets in/out of bed and using ear plugs and eyemask, I can often sleep through DH getting up. A bit of a pain but worth it!

@1987qwerty

Unless he's over 60 or has a medical condition this shouldn't be happening.

Why do people post this shit?

Why is it so hard to believe that not all people are set up like you are?

Some people need 5 hours sleep a night, others 9. Some people can tolerate foods that others blow up like a balloon if they eat. Some people shit every day and others don't need to. Some people can hold all night and others can't. Its normal human variance.

Not doctor will be interested in someone who needs a wee once a night so please don't waste a GPs time on this. I know because I used to attend a clinic for people with urinary and bowel issues and there was a poster on the wall saying how many times a night you needed to wee before seeing a GP and it certainly was not once!

@Disfordarkchocolate

YANBU, if he can take simple steps to stop this he should. Sleep is precious.

Not drinking for 4+ h before bed isn't a simple step. He would be spitting feathers.

What the fuck is wrong with the place?

Urinating is a normal process for most humans. Even during the night time.