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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband had son's head shaved

166 replies

SooooooAnnoyed · 01/09/2021 14:16

We agreed he needed a haircut before school starts and he has had nice short cuts in the past which is what I expected but, to my horror, he brought him home from the barber with a practically shaved head. He is only 4 and I would only shave his head if he had lice or ringworms or some other disease of the scalp. It's also getting colder so I wonder why he thought this was a good idea. AIBU to be really annoyed by this?

OP posts:

LST · 02/09/2021 21:49

@Whatthecluckinghell

Never understood why people say they would only shave all the hair off if their kid caught headlice.... that won't solve the problem but it will make them 100 x more noticeable. Sorry but shaving hair off due to headlice is ridiculous in my opinion. Both my boys have long hair, eldest has had nits twice and youngest has never had them.

However if my sons (either of them) were brought home with a shaved head I would go absolutely ballistic! I hate short hair on my boys, even the longest setting on a shaver is too short for my kids.

You have every right to be upset about it.

What if they wanted it short?

Miniroofbox · 02/09/2021 21:50

Combing the bird out is far easier on short hair.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHaands · 02/09/2021 22:57

I can’t help but snort at a the Mumsnet “fuming” that goes on. “I was fuming” and “I’d be fuming” is right up there with LTB but without the irony!

Clearly it’s NOT a skin head like many have stated.. OP says “practically shaved” so obviously just shorter than she would prefer it to have been. Honestly… it’ll grown back within weeks and need cutting again.. and he’s hardly going to be cold… it’s barely September and hats are v handy for going out on if it’s a bit breezy.

Personally I wouldn’t stress over this. And I certainly would fume! Life is too short and there are too many other more serious things to stress over.. or fall out with the other half over .. and have bad feeling over. Choose carefully.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHaands · 02/09/2021 23:00

Also “absolutely ballistic” Really? Over a somewhat “too short haircut” (value judgement) that is only “nearly shaven”. ??! Honestly.. some of you will give yourselves ulcers before your kids are anywhere near their teens

Carboncheque · 02/09/2021 23:15

3mm is pretty damn short.

stopgap · 02/09/2021 23:29

Awful. I don’t like shaved heads on young boys whatsoever.

SunscreenCentral · 03/09/2021 00:15

I'd be absolutely furious, in honesty. But then I'd get over it because what else can you do, and it will grow back.

5128gap · 03/09/2021 08:37

The people who would fume, be livid and go ballistic over a hair cut really need to reflect on the disproportionate importance they are giving to their child's appearance. Its really not a good message to get so over excited about something superficial, and gives a really poor message about what matters. A child is not an accessory to show off to other people and make a statement like a handbag. And if you need them to have a certain hair length to prove you're not 'thuggish' you maybe need to focus a bit more on behaviour.

MakeMathsFun · 03/09/2021 10:38

I believe that in Eastern European countries, it is the norm to shave boys' heads (tradition from the times of lore when head lice were more prevalent). England probably has a more diverse range of cultural expectations regarding boy haircuts, but yes, I would feel uneasy about such an 'extreme' haircut without discussing it first. The thing is that some may see it as extreme, while others may not.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/09/2021 10:48

I would be furious if someone made my son look like a miniature skinhead. What was he thinking.
My ex husband once took my son for a hair cut right before DS and i were due to go to America on holiday, it was literally cut round a bowl, the poor lad looked like Wayne Dibley.
He ended up going off to America with a buzz cut which was marginally better.

Letthelightoflove · 03/09/2021 12:42

Why does the dad not get an equal say in the haircut?!
Why is only mother’s view valid here?
Don’t have kids but this is not equality at all.

Balonzette · 03/09/2021 12:47

I would be FURIOUS.

GTAlogic · 03/09/2021 12:53

Lol when dc 1 cut his own hair at school we had to shave his head so much that he was completely bald because he'd managed to get so close to his scalp! School never said a word and it grew to a more reasonable length within weeks.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/09/2021 13:00

DH has very short hair (he is Army... but is actually because he's got an extreme receeding hairline and bald patch and has been losing his hair since his 20s). He cuts he weekly to maintain it...

(I admit he does look a bit thuggish... and it also looks like he has massive ears!)

Frazzled2207 · 03/09/2021 13:02

@Letthelightoflove

Why does the dad not get an equal say in the haircut?! Why is only mother’s view valid here? Don’t have kids but this is not equality at all.

agree with this generally however if one parent (or indeed the child) wants the child to have a shaved head and almost no hair it should be agreed between everyone.

AndTime · 03/09/2021 13:26

I cut DS on a number 2 all over in lock down and it looked truly awful. It has since grown out and is definitely a long hair style for a boy now. He is growing it for Halloween apparently.

Our primary school doesn't have haircut rules but our secondary does.

DD just had to go and get her purple hair dyed black before they go back next week. She has a few purple highlights underneath, she may get put into isolation if the teachers notice.

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