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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband had son's head shaved

166 replies

SooooooAnnoyed · 01/09/2021 14:16

We agreed he needed a haircut before school starts and he has had nice short cuts in the past which is what I expected but, to my horror, he brought him home from the barber with a practically shaved head. He is only 4 and I would only shave his head if he had lice or ringworms or some other disease of the scalp. It's also getting colder so I wonder why he thought this was a good idea. AIBU to be really annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Miniroofbox · 01/09/2021 15:03

@MyDcAreMarvel

Wow , any kind of buzz cut looks awful on primary age children.
My boys looked really cute when they had theirs cut short.
Whatinthelord · 01/09/2021 15:05

@MyDcAreMarvel

Wow , any kind of buzz cut looks awful on primary age children.
My son is quite skinny and he looked almost poorly when we accidentally got his hair cut too short. I think very short looks odd on small kids because their heads are still quite large relative to their body, do you just see a big head.

Won’t take long to grow though.

Florasteddy · 01/09/2021 15:06

@stepupandbecounted

Fuming. I think it looks really thuggish and I don't blame you for being angry. I would be livid.
How can a 4 year old look like a thug? Poor little boy.
BlackShadowCat · 01/09/2021 15:07

Was your son upset?

My husband did this to our son when he was around 4 after DS had tried to cut his fringe and ended up with a massive chunk missing. Husband thought it looked ridiculous so took him to the barber. I think half-way through, he realised that DS was getting really upset and afterwards he felt bad. I hated it, but it soon grew back and I don't think husband ever took him for a haircut again after that.

shouldistop · 01/09/2021 15:09

You've said 'practically' so what does that mean?

It will grow very quickly. Unless he's given him a complete skin head then this isn't something I'd get upset by.

SusieBob · 01/09/2021 15:09

@stepupandbecounted

Fuming. I think it looks really thuggish and I don't blame you for being angry. I would be livid.
Which would be a total overreaction. Hair grows.

Surely no school is going to send a 4 year old home for having too short hair? That would be fucking absurd.

shouldistop · 01/09/2021 15:11

Cross post. Is it number 1 all over? What did he ask the barber to do?

PandorasMailbox · 01/09/2021 15:15

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

It’s annoying ! But it’ll grow back. Not sure what school will think about it…

My ex MIL (generally nice) cut my Dd a wonky fringe just before my brother’s wedding. It’s in all the photos!

My first (and last) attempt at cutting my daughter's fringe made it look like it'd been done by a drunk chimp armed with slightly rusted salad tongs.
OrangeTortoise · 01/09/2021 15:15

Having seen your update, YANBU. I think a no. 1 all over is too short for a 4yo and I'd be upset too.

Carboncheque · 01/09/2021 15:15

I’m not surprised you’re upset. It looks so horrible on little boys.

NotMeNoNo · 01/09/2021 15:15

I would email the school. Say you are sorry but dad made a bad decision at the barber and your son has unexpectedly short hair, you hope this won't be a problem as it would be a shame to punish a 4yo in reception for an adult's mistake. Get it out of the way without upsetting your little boy.

Hemingwaycat · 01/09/2021 15:19

Oh dear, I’d hate this but my DS has beautiful tight curls on the top of his head so it would be cruel to rid the world of such beauty! It will grow back but there’s always an awkward regrowth stage where they resemble a fuzzy tennis ball…

As a side note, it’s really drastic to shave a child’s head because they have head lice. Just buy some hedrin, it kills them straight away.

Original poster
SooooooAnnoyed · 01/09/2021 15:19

A number of you have asked what was DH thinking. I didn't get a clear answer but the regular barber wasn't there and the other person asked what size and DH may or may not have said 1 and after the first swipe it was too late. (????). I think it was poor communication and/or not paying attention.

DS is happy. It doesn't seem to bother him but he doesn't know any better. I just hope no one gives him any strange looks or comments. It's a cruel world and I am just trying to protect him.

OP posts:
SusieBob · 01/09/2021 15:23

If DS is happy then who cares what other people think?

If anyone gives him "strange looks or comments" then just ignore them due to the fact that only a complete prick judges a kid on their haircut.

ElephantOfRisk · 01/09/2021 15:30

I hate the way it's always brought up about how school will feel about it. Why are you letting school dictate how your child looks when not at school? I'm ambivalent about uniform but their school and up to them and it can be removed out of school. Hair etc. not up to them as long as it can be tied back for health and safety and isn't offensive (i.e. swastikas shaved into it).

OP it will grow back but I get why you are upset. If the DC likes it then not much harm done. His dad has an equal choice while you DC still doesn't have a opinion though. If you wanted it cut short and his dad didn't what would you have done?

MamDancer · 01/09/2021 15:31

It was just quite shocking as he normally has thick, dark, curly hair

OP is dad going bald at all?

goose1964 · 01/09/2021 15:38

Isn't a number one that men have to hide the fact they're going bald? Poor child at least it will grow back at his age.

ElephantOfRisk · 01/09/2021 15:44

I used to travel away with work regularly and DH was a stay at home dad. He took DS2 for a haircut when I was away and when I came back his beautiful blond curls were gone. It was a perfectly normal little boys haircut and no-one had done anything wrong, but I do remember the feeling of loss. Throughout his childhood though he opted for long hair most of the time with only occasionally going short. Now an adult at Uni, he recently chopped off his very long (now dark) curls again when he shaved his head for charity. He does suit it short but sure it won't last :)

FreeBritnee · 01/09/2021 15:45

My son would have a load of head back on his head on two weeks. So I bet you’ll be surprised how quickly that will grow!

Tal45 · 01/09/2021 15:48

My OH has a 1 all over as he's going bald. If he's just going to have an all over cut like that just get yourself some clippers and do it yourself! Saves a load of money! I do DH's and Ds's (who has an 8 on top).

Dancingonmoonlight · 01/09/2021 15:53

I'd be annoyed too OP.
Imo very short/shaved hair looks like the child is from a very rough family or is very sick.
It will grow back but in future bring him yourself.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 01/09/2021 15:55

What does your son think?

It will grow back!

StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 01/09/2021 15:56

I'd be upset too OP, particularly with school starting.
You did the right thing telling your son he looks handsome.
During the first lockdown I took on the role of family hairdresser. Never again as I accidentally cut my sons hair too short - about a 2 so I am now very cautious when he goes to the barber and ask them to start at the back so I can see length.
I also accidentally took a chunk out of the back or my husband's hair but I didn't feel so bad about that Grin

Oblomov21 · 01/09/2021 15:58

It grows back really quick. Email the school beforehand, saying it was a Dh mistake / miscommunication.

TeenMinusTests · 01/09/2021 16:07

I think that the biggest issue may be, depending on the area you live in, other parents making assumptions about you based on the hairstyle 'you' have chosen for your DS.

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