Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband had son's head shaved

166 replies

SooooooAnnoyed · 01/09/2021 14:16

We agreed he needed a haircut before school starts and he has had nice short cuts in the past which is what I expected but, to my horror, he brought him home from the barber with a practically shaved head. He is only 4 and I would only shave his head if he had lice or ringworms or some other disease of the scalp. It's also getting colder so I wonder why he thought this was a good idea. AIBU to be really annoyed by this?

OP posts:
chaosrabbitland · 01/09/2021 16:11

id be very very annoyed personally as i cannot understand why people have their sons hair shaved pratically off , it does look awful , but hes only 4 do he will carry it off better than say a teen would and theres nothing to be done about it now , hair does grow surprisingly fast

Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 01/09/2021 16:11

@stepupandbecounted

Fuming. I think it looks really thuggish and I don't blame you for being angry. I would be livid.
How can it look "thuggish" on a 4 year old?

Also, (general question) how can a school exclude a child for something that is obviously a parent's mistake?

KatherineJaneway · 01/09/2021 16:19

How can it look "thuggish" on a 4 year old?

Very easily

Frazzled2207 · 01/09/2021 16:20

I’d be gutted but miscommunication is definitely a thing that can happen at the barbers! Or hairdressers for that matter
I’d be making sure that his dad knows it’s too short and taking him myself next time
But in the meantime it is only hair and it will grow, and if that short within a fortnight it will look a lot better.
Pleased ds is ok about it

Frazzled2207 · 01/09/2021 16:20

@TeenMinusTests

I think that the biggest issue may be, depending on the area you live in, other parents making assumptions about you based on the hairstyle 'you' have chosen for your DS.
Sadly that’s what I would be thinking
GeorgeMichaelBluth · 01/09/2021 16:23

It's a cruel world and I am just trying to protect him.
I can't imagine anyone taking the mick out of him for short hair, I think you might be worrying unnecessarily.

5128gap · 01/09/2021 16:25

@TeenMinusTests

I think that the biggest issue may be, depending on the area you live in, other parents making assumptions about you based on the hairstyle 'you' have chosen for your DS.
Might work out for the best as at least the OP would know which parents to avoid!
MissyB1 · 01/09/2021 16:26

For those insisting “it’s only hair” would you be happy if your dd’s dad took her to get her head shaved? No I suspect not!! But because it’s a boy oh yeah no problem.

OP don’t ever let dad take him to the barbers again. He clearly lost his mind.

Niffler92 · 01/09/2021 16:28

YABU not fir the hair cut but for thinking shaving his head is a way to treat head lice, etc.

Askingforfriend · 01/09/2021 16:28

[quote DownWhichOfLate]@Theunamedcat - that’s rather a “cut your nose to spite your face” attitude from the school. Surely they should be making sure attendance is as high as possible rather than worrying about a hair cut / skirt length / shoe colour.[/quote]
totally agree. Schools that prioritize haircuts over having children in classrooms should not be schools.

WitchBaby · 01/09/2021 16:32

@MissyB1

For those insisting “it’s only hair” would you be happy if your dd’s dad took her to get her head shaved? No I suspect not!! But because it’s a boy oh yeah no problem.

OP don’t ever let dad take him to the barbers again. He clearly lost his mind.

It's no problem with a boy because it's only marginally shorter than it usually is. Obviously it would be different with a girl Hmm

Stonerosie67 · 01/09/2021 16:37

Op, I understand how yoiu feel, this happened to us too....the only time dh took ds for a haircut and he came back like this! But ds loved it, so I bollocked dh out of ds' hearing, and told ds I loved it. It grew back really quickly x

hollyhocksarenotmessy · 01/09/2021 16:37

Wow, number 1 is really short. I don't think he'll get much attention from the other children, but yeah, a lot of adults will be judging/wondering about either nits or why you want your son to be a skinhead.

It'll grow quickly. DP needs to be more careful in future.

TabithaTiger · 01/09/2021 16:37

My ex did this with my DS. I was so upset as I really don't like the shaved head look. However, as others have said, it will grow back.

PwySyddYma · 01/09/2021 16:38

This reminds me of the time DS was 3 and the school sent a text to both mine and his father's phone saying "there has been a headlice outbreak yada yada" I returned home from a 12 hour shift to find my son's lovely golden mop of curls had been shaved off to a grade 4.

I just stood there in shock! DS however was rather pleased with his haircut like his dad (military) so I just gritted my teeth and said "ohh lovely!"

When he went to bed I came downstairs didn't say anything but if looks could have killed they would have. I have a rational brain I knew it would grow back, so I didn't say anything on the matter. I also knew why dad had done this. It was a "military solution".

It was like a unspoken argument between us, and the look was enough to know "dad fucked up"

His hair and curls grew back.

stickygotstuck · 01/09/2021 16:42

@WomanStanleyWoman

As an aside, I hate this fear of and desperate reverence for ‘The School’ some parents seem to live by. If schools concentrated on teaching rather than pupils’ appearance, maybe we’d have a better education system.
Completeley agree with this.

OP's is a young child. I think it's even worse for teens. When exactly are they supposed to experiment with their looks, as they are meant to at that age?

Theunamedcat - Because if you don't adhere to the schools rules they send your child home
Time to challenge the shool then!

SusieBob · 01/09/2021 16:43

@MissyB1

For those insisting “it’s only hair” would you be happy if your dd’s dad took her to get her head shaved? No I suspect not!! But because it’s a boy oh yeah no problem.

OP don’t ever let dad take him to the barbers again. He clearly lost his mind.

It's rather unlikely that a hairdresser when asked to give a girl a short haircut would take the clippers to it, don't you think?

Not the same thing at all.

It's just hair, in about 2 weeks it'll grow back and before then if OP is really that insecure about it hats are a thing.

eeyore228 · 01/09/2021 16:44

It sounds like OP’s DH wasn't entirely sure what he had agreed to! In which case chalk it down to experience. We all make mistakes, sometimes I feel like because it's a man that they are just foolish or idiots and it can't always like that. No sense in stressing ‘fuming’ as some have suggested, over something that will grow back.

stepupandbecounted · 01/09/2021 16:46

How can it look "thuggish" on a 4 year old? Also, (general question) how can a school exclude a child for something that is obviously a parent's mistake?

A No1/2 hair cut on any child, in fact on any man that is not in the army looks aggressive (excluding those that are balding) and I would wonder why any parent would choose that for their child, and make assumptions about the parents. Sorry but I would.

You can be excluded for anything to is against the rules of the school. dd's friend dyed his friend, and he was not allowed to come back until it was sorted out - it wasn't even that bright.

chaosrabbitland · 01/09/2021 16:50

@KatherineJaneway

How can it look "thuggish" on a 4 year old?

Very easily

agreed , it can do which is why if i had a son would rather he had long flowing locks than a practically shaved head , i do find it depends on the childs general expression though , a generally cheerful looking kid is not going to look thuggish like for instance the 13 year old bully at my dds school
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/09/2021 16:52

You re ignited my fury remembering when my DH did exactly the same thing!. Older son was there and asked for a paper bag to put some of his beautiful curls in as even age 9 he knew I'd be upset and that it was a really stupid thing to do. DH said he wanted him to "fit" in at Reception. Idiot. No cup of tea for him today!!

Jemand · 01/09/2021 16:55

@ofwarren

Is he in reception? The headmaster at my sons school would send him home with a shaved head.
If he did, he'd be breaking the law himself.
Muchmorethan · 01/09/2021 16:56

If school are shitty, tell them he had nits.

Ds2 currently has the top if his hair bleached blonde... it will still show even with a short cut. He'll probably be put in isolation at school (y10)....

iolaus · 01/09/2021 17:11

TBH if mine had taken one of the boys to the barbers and come back with an all over buzz cut of whatever grade I'd be annoyed because I could have done that myself at home

When mine were little they often did just have it clipped (not as low as a no. 1) but if they wanted it then it wouldn't have bothered me because it will grow back (I remember my brother wanting his as a 1 once - I think my dad had his as a no. 1 at the time (used to have 3-4usually) and he wanted to copy him (dad was in the military and it's a common hair cut - purely for the simplicity I think). Usually 4 is as low as I would go.

DH always has his short because he hates having curly hair - so keeps it very short so it doesn't curl - and I do remember our daughter aged about 3 bringing me the nail clippers telling me to make the curls go away

Aposterhasnoname · 01/09/2021 17:14

@WomanStanleyWoman

As an aside, I hate this fear of and desperate reverence for ‘The School’ some parents seem to live by. If schools concentrated on teaching rather than pupils’ appearance, maybe we’d have a better education system.
Fucking this. It’s a bloody good job I don’t have school age children anymore because if the school was policing their hair, clothes or lunch boxes to the extent they do now, I’d go apeshit.