To be a bit annoyed DH has decided he’s going back to the office the day I go back to work

[Pinknoises]

Have been pleading with him for weeks to go back, and he announces this tonight.

Sigh.

The excuses for him not working upstairs were all ridiculous.

The timing of him going back to the office should really make you stop and think about the alternative perspectives people have offered you on this one..!

@Pinknoises

I think because a lot of people are thoroughly enjoying WFH, and don’t like to think that they are resented by their families

This is me really and I don't have as much sympathy for my family as maybe I should. I am the main breadwinner and have killed myself with an hour and a half commute into work for over a decade. It was killing me. Now I can work from home, my husband and kids are happy to make some sacrifices to keep me here.

He’s the one who insisted on working in the dining room/living area rather than the actual specified area upstairs? I’m afraid I’d have made life very hard for him, especially given he could have gone back a whole lot earlier.

Well no in fairness the excuse for not working upstairs was entirely reasonable. We don’t have an upstairs.

As I said many times it makes no difference where in the house he works. It really doesn’t. So he might as well be where he is most comfortable. It is rather frustrating he’s decided to go back now, though.

I do think some of you may be mixing it with another thread. There is no upstairs here.

But you presumably decided to live an hour and a half away and have a commute that nearly killed you. Just as my husband did, long before I met him.

It is unfair to lay the responsibility for this at my feet. It was not my decision.

Things and priorities change though. We moved an hour and a half away to give the kids some space. I know that was a choice.

To be fair, it is really odd that he's chosen to go back when you are. I can't wait for my husband and kids to go back (he's a teacher) so I will have the house to myself during work hours.

So you’re husband wasn’t trying to stop you doing anything because he was wfh? I’d be annoyed in that situation to be pleaded with for weeks to go back to the office just because my mere presence was too annoying.

But it sounds like there’s a backstory in another thread that I’m missing.

So you asked him to spend some time in the office so you could enjoy your mat leave and he refused. But when you have to return to work he decides to stop wfh?

Wow. What a gent. Not.

Urgh *your. It’s clearly bedtime for me!

What was weird about your other threads was that you were so adamant you couldn’t tell him to bugger off back to the office because him WFH was ruining your mat leave.

The reason why you feel like you couldn’t say that to him makes me think he wouldn’t have taken it well.

Am I also reading it right that he stopped going into the office and started WFH when your mat leave started and now you’re going back to work, so is he?

So he only wants to WFH if you’re at home too? Why? So he can fuck up your plans? Keep an eye on you? What else would the reason be?

Unless he is genuinely thick and lacking in any emotional intelligence and doesn’t see that sitting in the middle of your open plan lounge working all day was having a big impact on your enjoyment and use of your home.

Either way = twat.

So you asked him to spend some time in the office so you could enjoy your mat leave and he refused

That was a question for lots of posters on the other threads. Whether OP actually even asked him to go to the office, or just silently seethed on MN.

I can't wait for my husband and kids to go back (he's a teacher) so I will have the house to myself during work hours

But you can’t understand why I want that too?!

Double, at that point there was no office to go back to. So informing him I hated him being around just for the sake of it was rather unkind and pointless. When the office opened I asked him to go back and he just kept saying it wasn’t a problem.

Knitting, well yeah. Sorry. There is always a divide on these threads between people who are WFH and love it and people who have a spouse WFH and often don’t. As you can see above a poster admits she loves it when her husband and kids are out of the house yet there’s no sense that they might enjoy it when it’s reciprocated.

I didn’t suggest he went in every day by the way. One day a week would have done.

But it is done now!

Oh it's you again.

Your husband is a twat for going back into the office as soon as you return to work but did you even ask him to return to the office or did you just moan about him online?

Someone can’t read …

To be fair you posted whilst I was reading and typing.

I don’t want to be overly snide Superstore but the first line of my OP says ‘have been pleading with him for weeks.’ Which does make me think you just glanced at my post and typed an arsey reply to be, well, arsey.

And TBH I suspect it is an attempt to get out of doing any night wakings, as he will be up early and back later. I could be wrong.

In that case I apologise.

Has he got any redeeming features? Because from where I'm standing I can see a few red flags.

That was very gracious. Thank you. He is a decent and kind man and human being. He genuinely does not understand why WFH causes problems. However his lack of understanding does not unfortunately mean that the problems cease to exist.

Maybe you should have made it more inconvenient for him, telly or music on loud, hoovering under his feet, asking him to do jobs, accidentally unplugging the wifi, lots of visitors etc etc

Honestly OP, do you think your husband likes you? Because from this and your previous threads, I'm getting the feeling he's messing with you. What's he like with people he doesn't like?

The problem is that would only inconvenience me, as he’d just stop working and start again in the evening so I never got a break.

It is just one of those things. I had to let it out here so I didn’t scream at him!

He took over the entire living room while you were on mat leave? Why couldn't he work in another room?

I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. I’m a bit lost as to why you think he doesn’t like me … I’m not being rude there, just genuinely don’t see what you’re apparently seeing.

From his POV WFH isn’t a problem. I can do whatever I want, it’s just he’s there. And he’s on hand to help. Great!

Except …