'Are dads invited too?'

[SyIviescup]

So the class watsap is starting to wake up. The majority are women but there a few dads floating about in it. That don't really contribute to the group at all.

There are a few of us who are friendly - not besties but enjoy going for lunch before pick up (if we can) or evening drinks/ meal out (term time as we all seem to disappear during the long summer holidays)

If we organise a play date outing such as at a play area/park ect its an open invite everyone is invited mums & dads, siblings- anyone.

But if a few of us fancy having a 'mums' night out, we have to extend it to the rest of the mums on the group, so they don't feel left out then the same two women ask if 'the dads can come too?'

Which changes the dynamics of the group. I've nothing against either blokes, they are nice, I chat to them at school but its just not the same. The last time they came, we/I was told that more male friendly/fun stuff should be organised like a night out go carting. I did say to him that he was welcome to organise that but it never came to fruition.

Im not the class rep, its not down to me to organise events that men would like, I don't know why they organise fuck all then expect to come out and sit with 10 women and then moan that they could be doing something more 'fun'.

Message this morning -

Person A - Hi every one hope you all had a great summer, a few of us are thinking about have a mums meal and drinks night out for a catch up on the xxxx, if you fancy it let me know so I can book table.

Person B - I'd love too, can dads come too.

So how are other class WhatsApp groups formed @Pumperthepumper? How do people get details of all the parents names and phone numbers?

I'm not saying the school sets it up, it might be that parents help set one up to help with communication with schools. That is what happened at DS's school, although private FB message group rather than WhatsApp, but it was to talk about class things not to organise a booze up in the pub

What’s so frightening about Dads coming. Do the Mums not trust themselves with male company. Or do you mean couples coming together?
Does it really matter?

He invited a few mums round for coffee once, they came, assuming I’d be there and when I wasn’t they stayed a short while and never reciprocated, so he doesn’t.

I think we can safely say that if all the mums on this WhatsApp group are as aggressive, petty, uptight and bitchy as the OP is coming across here, the men aren’t missing much So odd and depressing that groups of women like this still exist in 2021. Mums night out....just the words make me cringe inside out!

@toomuchlaundry

So how are other class WhatsApp groups formed *@Pumperthepumper*? How do people get details of all the parents names and phone numbers?

I'm not saying the school sets it up, it might be that parents help set one up to help with communication with schools. That is what happened at DS's school, although private FB message group rather than WhatsApp, but it was to talk about class things not to organise a booze up in the pub

The school definitely doesn’t set up WhatsApp groups for the parents. Normally one parent sets it up and adds people, who add others and so on.

So it’s absolutely nothing like an assembly.

@wherestheweightlosspill

He invited a few mums round for coffee once, they came, assuming I’d be there and when I wasn’t they stayed a short while and never reciprocated, so he doesn’t.

Maybe they were busy? Or do they just dislike him?

I bet the mums in the group stick in their clique groups when they do meet up anyway

My post was in response to this; (still can’t figure out how to do this properly)

Pumperthepumper

wherestheweightlosspill
I think it's really rude and just don't understand it. I work ft, my DH is a SAHD and even though all the mum's know this, they'll message me to arrange a play date (I might be away, abroad, etc and they'll have seen him at the school gate), never invite him to coffee mornings, drinks etc. It wouldn't happen with any other group. If you were part of a sports club, work group etc. you wouldn't use the group to invite the women of the group only. If you want to select people to have a night out with, set up a different group, it's not hard. To not do so is really rude and sexist.
What happens when he invites them and arranges a group event?

@toomuchlaundry

I bet the mums in the group stick in their clique groups when they do meet up anyway

So? Who cares what they do?

@wherestheweightlosspill

My post was in response to this; (still can’t figure out how to do this properly)

Pumperthepumper

wherestheweightlosspill
I think it's really rude and just don't understand it. I work ft, my DH is a SAHD and even though all the mum's know this, they'll message me to arrange a play date (I might be away, abroad, etc and they'll have seen him at the school gate), never invite him to coffee mornings, drinks etc. It wouldn't happen with any other group. If you were part of a sports club, work group etc. you wouldn't use the group to invite the women of the group only. If you want to select people to have a night out with, set up a different group, it's not hard. To not do so is really rude and sexist.
What happens when he invites them and arranges a group event?

I know. Why no follow up?

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

I think we can safely say that if all the mums on this WhatsApp group are as aggressive, petty, uptight and bitchy as the OP is coming across here, the men aren’t missing much So odd and depressing that groups of women like this still exist in 2021. Mums night out....just the words make me cringe inside out!

That's interesting, @MayorGoodwaysChicken . Can you articulate what in particular makes you cringe? The fact that they're mums? Women? The 'night out' bit?

Busy forever? Course it’s possible they didn’t like him but I’m pretty sure every single female isn’t equally likeable, it would still be rude to exclude them when sending an invite in a group they’re in

I assume no follow up because he was a Dad not a Mum. Isn’t that the point of this thread?

@Pumperthepumper In our school every class has a watsap group and the teachers communicate to us on watsap via the class rep. We also get emails but the school ensure each class has a group. It might not physically be set up by 'the school' but it is a group set up to help with school communication, so isn't just a random parent starting up a group. During lockdown the admin staff emailed the class rep worksheets to be circulated on the watsap.
It would seem very odd (and creepy) if a random dad set up a duplicate group and added people to it.

Totally agree. My husband couldn’t think of anything worse than coming on a girls night out particular a school mums one. And equally I couldn’t think of anything worse than going on a dads one 😂

@Suspicioussam that is what I envisage a class WhatsApp group to be, and what I would think would help with school communication. But not if it then becomes more of a social diary for parents (or some parents)

@wherestheweightlosspill

Busy forever? Course it’s possible they didn’t like him but I’m pretty sure every single female isn’t equally likeable, it would still be rude to exclude them when sending an invite in a group they’re in

So why no follow up? Which is it? They were happy meet once.

@SyIviescup you have some patience!!!! 😇
This thread is truly bonkers- so many women, centering the men who probably don't even give a rat's whatsit if they're invited or not!
And I've been insulted for offering my opinion 😊
Never mind eh??? 😁

[quote Suspicioussam]@Pumperthepumper In our school every class has a watsap group and the teachers communicate to us on watsap via the class rep. We also get emails but the school ensure each class has a group. It might not physically be set up by 'the school' but it is a group set up to help with school communication, so isn't just a random parent starting up a group. During lockdown the admin staff emailed the class rep worksheets to be circulated on the watsap.
It would seem very odd (and creepy) if a random dad set up a duplicate group and added people to it.[/quote]
Why would it be creepy if it was a smaller group?

I’ve never heard of a class WhatsApp with teachers numbers on it. That’s very unusual.

@toomuchlaundry

Some schools do have a class WhatsApp group, to help with school communication with parents. It isn't solely a social diary for parents

Yes, our WhatsApp channel is semi official although it’s only parents on it. The school tasks the Class Reps with setting up the WhatsApp and they will pass on messages to the class rep to distribute on the class WhatsApp (which is also used for social events, queries, general chatting about school things).

@wherestheweightlosspill

I assume no follow up because he was a Dad not a Mum. Isn’t that the point of this thread?

But they were happy to meet the first time?

@wherestheweightlosspill

He invited a few mums round for coffee once, they came, assuming I’d be there and when I wasn’t they stayed a short while and never reciprocated, so he doesn’t.

It may really surprise you but some women may feel really uncomfortable with that.

The clue was they thought you would be there. You wasn't.

There are many many women who would feel comfortable with going for a coffee with a man at his house.

But there are also lots that wouldn't. And no judgement should be passed on those women who are not comfortable with it. Some women have a life time of experiences of men that make them feel this way.

Don't blame the women - blame the men in society.

I’ve already says, they thought I’d be there

*said

But he never said I would be there. They assumed