'Are dads invited too?'

[SyIviescup]

So the class watsap is starting to wake up. The majority are women but there a few dads floating about in it. That don't really contribute to the group at all.

There are a few of us who are friendly - not besties but enjoy going for lunch before pick up (if we can) or evening drinks/ meal out (term time as we all seem to disappear during the long summer holidays)

If we organise a play date outing such as at a play area/park ect its an open invite everyone is invited mums & dads, siblings- anyone.

But if a few of us fancy having a 'mums' night out, we have to extend it to the rest of the mums on the group, so they don't feel left out then the same two women ask if 'the dads can come too?'

Which changes the dynamics of the group. I've nothing against either blokes, they are nice, I chat to them at school but its just not the same. The last time they came, we/I was told that more male friendly/fun stuff should be organised like a night out go carting. I did say to him that he was welcome to organise that but it never came to fruition.

Im not the class rep, its not down to me to organise events that men would like, I don't know why they organise fuck all then expect to come out and sit with 10 women and then moan that they could be doing something more 'fun'.

Message this morning -

Person A - Hi every one hope you all had a great summer, a few of us are thinking about have a mums meal and drinks night out for a catch up on the xxxx, if you fancy it let me know so I can book table.

Person B - I'd love too, can dads come too.

@ChaneySays

So, would it have been acceptable to request that no mums over 35yo attend on the basis that people sometimes want to just socialise with their own demographic or people they can relate to better?

Why are you trying to make it into something it’s not? Who said anything about relatability?

It’s a mums night out. All mums, despite age, ethnicity, employment status. I don’t know how much simpler it could be

Anyone else hear ‘girls night out’ and have images of being an audience member in ‘Loose Women’ and start hyperventilating?

What are you sniffing? Seriously, you literally have no skin in the game as you don't have kids so won't even be on a class watsap.

Really? Where did I say that?

Personally I think jf it’s on the whole class WhatsApp I’d just go with ‘all welcome’ and leave it at that.

You can always have a separate group or get together with your actual group of friends

Why are you trying to make it into something it’s not? Who said anything about relatability?

It’s a mums night out. All mums, despite age, ethnicity, employment status. I don’t know how much simpler it could be hmm.

So what if the younger mums wanted a night out? Assuming this wouldn't be a problem?

So what if the younger mums wanted a night out? Assuming this wouldn't be a problem?

So in a group of 22 women, everyone is invited except for the two women over 35.

You'd be cool with that?

@Whycangirlsbesonasty

I think I object to two things on this thread:

1. the stereotyping of ‘men’ and ‘women’ and what they might want from a night out and what topics they want to talk about. I don’t think anyone wants to hear about someone’s pelvic floor!
2. Men have not traditionally been part of the childcare / school run but are getting more involved and that’s a good thing for them, the kids and women. It should be encouraged. No parents WhatsApp group should be used to discourage any participation from any parent.

Encouraged by whom?

Aimed @Winemewhynot not Chaney

By the school, who ought to give control of the WhatsApp to someone that doesn’t actively discourage them from being a part of the school community.

@Journeyofthedragons

So what if the younger mums wanted a night out? Assuming this wouldn't be a problem?

So in a group of 22 women, everyone is invited except for the two women over 35.

You'd be cool with that?

I would be. I don’t think it should be done on a group chat, as I said, but I don’t expect to be invited along to every single event, no. And if I did want to go out, I’d organise it myself.

@Whycangirlsbesonasty

By the school, who ought to give control of the WhatsApp to someone that doesn’t actively discourage them from being a part of the school community.

The school don’t organise the WhatsApp groups! Are you joking?

*I think I object to two things on this thread:

1. the stereotyping of ‘men’ and ‘women’ and what they might want from a night out and what topics they want to talk about. I don’t think anyone wants to hear about someone’s pelvic floor!
2. Men have not traditionally been part of the childcare / school run but are getting more involved and that’s a good thing for them, the kids and women. It should be encouraged. No parents WhatsApp group should be used to discourage any participation from any parent.*

Spot on.

oops bold fail.

@Journeyofthedragons

So what if the younger mums wanted a night out? Assuming this wouldn't be a problem?

So in a group of 22 women, everyone is invited except for the two women over 35.

You'd be cool with that?

What are you on about?

All the mums are invited on the girls night out…what’s age got to do with it

All the mums are invited on the girls night out…what’s age got to do with it confused
About as much as sex does. That's the point!

@MyOtherProfile

All the mums are invited on the girls night out…what’s age got to do with it confused About as much as sex does. That's the point!

But it’s a girls night out!!! eg girls women mums females NOT MEN

Oh dear. That's the whole point!

Also a dad on the WhatsApp group, would not take offence at a reply of "ladies only". Kind of taken as read anyway

@MyOtherProfile

Oh dear. That's the whole point!

Why do you object so much to a girls night out?

Do you think women need to be accompanied by men at all times? Or do you think they should stay at home and not go out at all? What about hen dos? Do you demand your husband accompanies you to that too? Or is it him doing the demanding?
Or is it an abusive marriage? Or do you have trust issues?

There’s obviously some deep rooted issue to think that the mums on the group chat shouldn’t be able to discuss and plan a girls night out incase the men folk get upset!

All the mums are invited on the girls night out…what’s age got to do with it confused
About as much as sex does. That's the point!

Exactly!

People are very quick to dismiss when it's not them being excluded.

@ChaneySays

All the mums are invited on the girls night out…what’s age got to do with it confused About as much as sex does. That's the point!

Exactly!

People are very quick to dismiss when it's not them being excluded.

Surely the point still stands though - if it was a group of say, 55 year old women, wouldn’t two 23 year olds change the dynamic?

Why do you object so much to a girls night out?

Maybe...y'know...actually go and read some of the replies.

The general consensus from those who disagree is that it's fine in isolation but rude when you create a group and then say "oh sorry, you're not invited" to certain members of the group.

Yabu for the sheer number of uses of 'girls night out'. Barf.

Surely the point still stands though - if it was a group of say, 55 year old women, wouldn’t two 23 year olds change the dynamic?

Well, they'd probably adapt to the environment and act differently than if they were with their peers. However, it'd still be rude to say "sorry, you two aren't invited". The polite thing would just be to arrange separately rather than publically exclude on the basis of sex/age/ethnicity etc.

But why not make it all parents, given that parents, not mums are in the group.