Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want adult sons to get the Covid vaccination before they visit us again?

130 replies

Skybubble · 31/08/2021 08:22

We have 3 Ds 1 has had the vaccination due to health issues, the other 2 have no intentions of getting the vaccine, they are age 41 39 36 they visit us regularly and stay over often at weekends.
My Dh aged 63 and myself aged 61 have both been vaccinated and also both of us had Covid in January, my husband ended up in hospital with it which obviously was quite worrying at the time.
I am getting more uneasy as winter approaches would I be unreasonable to tell them to not visit us until they have got vaccinated? Or would I be overreacting?

OP posts:
ACreakingGateNeverStops · 31/08/2021 15:09

I'm quoting the phrase daytripper28 used in their post.

Classica · 31/08/2021 15:10

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable. Tell them they're welcome to sit in the garden when they visit. And they can camp there too if they're still eager to stay overnight.

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2021 15:10

@ACreakingGateNeverStops

I'm quoting the phrase daytripper28 used in their post.
What does it mean though?
ACreakingGateNeverStops · 31/08/2021 15:12

I assumed they meant they'd get really poorly, but fair point it's an odd turn of phrase and not one I'd use.

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2021 15:15

Presumably those LFTs and PCR tests will identify a “big dose of covid” and keep the person home, vaccinated or not.

ACreakingGateNeverStops · 31/08/2021 15:23

@PurpleDaisies

Presumably those LFTs and PCR tests will identify a “big dose of covid” and keep the person home, vaccinated or not.
What LFTs and PCRs ??? I think we may be talking at cross purposes.....maybe your post is for dt28 and not me as they were the one dismissing doing the tests I think Smile
PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2021 15:26

This is what I was responding to.
Do all the lateral flow tests and PCR tests you want, it won't stop you getting a big dose of Covid sometime and no doubt spreading it about.

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2021 15:28

Think I might have quoted the wrong post earlier. Blush

pointythings · 31/08/2021 15:31

daytripper I don't get it either. Vaccines aren't exclusively about benefit to the individual, they are also about protecting the vulnerable in society.

Mare I think this is the new tune the antivaxxers are playing. It used to be 'it hasn't been tested enough', 'it will have side effects decades into the future' and now it's 'but they don't work' because they aren't 100%. No vaccine is 100% - I was vaccinated against whooping cough when I was young and caught it anyway, but it was much less severe.

Parky04 · 31/08/2021 15:38

My DM has told my DS not to visit her unless she is vaccinated. My DM has not seen my DS for the last 5 months and will probably never see her again. My DS will never have the vaccine. If you are prepared to never see your DC again then carry on insisting!

RisingSunn · 31/08/2021 15:49

Could they not test before visiting?
Also, just thinking are you not both highly unlikely to get Covid because you are double jabbed AND have had Covid?

Classica · 31/08/2021 15:56

@Parky04

My DM has told my DS not to visit her unless she is vaccinated. My DM has not seen my DS for the last 5 months and will probably never see her again. My DS will never have the vaccine. If you are prepared to never see your DC again then carry on insisting!
From your tone I gather you think your mum's the unreasonable one of the two?
00100001 · 31/08/2021 16:02

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

No one is coming in my home who isnt vax
How do you know they're vaccinated?
ACreakingGateNeverStops · 31/08/2021 16:35

@PurpleDaisies

Think I might have quoted the wrong post earlier. Blush
Ha ha, no problem. I was getting really confused !!!
ButteringMyArse · 31/08/2021 16:44

It's up to you who you'll have in your home OP, but I wouldn't suggest telling them they can't visit without being vaccinated unless you're prepared for the possibility that they decide they're more bothered about staying unjabbed than coming to yours. I also wonder how long would you be planning to keep this up for? The pandemic will end sooner or later, but Covid 19 itself isn't going anywhere.

ZednotZee · 31/08/2021 16:51

Do all the lateral flow tests and PCR tests you want, it won't stop you getting a big dose of Covid sometime and no doubt spreading it about.

You see, its the 'no doubt spreading it about that is the issue here.
You are a HCP so presumably you understand that the thrice weekly testing is precisely to prevent a positive person from transmitting covid.

Additionally, as an non vaccinated person I am very probably more stringent with my social contact and adherence to covid safety measures than those who presume themselves protected by their vaccine.

lljkk · 31/08/2021 17:53

Over-reacting.

Original poster
Skybubble · 31/08/2021 21:16

Thank you all for replying and giving your views, I have spoken with my sons and they are both happy to take a Lf test before they visit us in future, I think that is the best solution all round. Thank you to those of you for suggesting that to me.I feel stupid for not thinking of it myself!

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 31/08/2021 21:17

TheChip

“Life is too short”

Might be even shorter for my beloved, CEV husband if my adult kids refused the vaccine. Which they haven’t, because they love him as much as I do and want to do what they can to protect him.

A discussion wasn’t necessary because it never occurred to them not to.

TheChip · 31/08/2021 21:58

I just know that I would rather take a risk, and see my kids as safely as possible, if they refused to take the vaccine. For whatever their reasons were, I'd know they weren't choosing to not take it out of spite.
I'd personally rather take the risk and still see my kids, than not see them. I could be hit by a truck tomorrow for all I know, or they could.

I can understand other people's reasons for not wanting to put themselves in that position though. It's just not something that I would do.

Crikeyalmighty · 31/08/2021 22:30

Personally I think unless there are medical reasons, those not being vaccinated are simply relying on the fact that lots of us are. I would ask them to do a LFT before meeting and not sit in over heated houses. I accept that there has to be an element of living with it but rates in UK are still high and vaccination is helpful but not a cure

XenoBitch · 31/08/2021 23:40

YABU, you already said they visit and stay regularly anyway. It just sounds like you are trying to manipulate them into having the vaccine.
My own dad pulled this on me... said I he didn't want to see me unless I had the vaccine despite the fact he was in my bubble and I was seeing him throughout anyway.
It is sad to see families fall out and get torn apart over this.

PinkiOcelot · 01/09/2021 18:57

Those saying unvaxed are not getting in to their home. Are you asking for their vaccination card, to see their NHS app or what?!

pointythings · 02/09/2021 09:00

PinkiOcelot the people I let into my home are very open about their vaccination status. So it isn't a problem - they're people I have known for years and who are like minded, so I trust them to be truthful.

With my foster son's mum, I'd want to see proof - she hasn't earned that level of trust.

Blossomtoes · 02/09/2021 09:07

I always thought the point of vaccination was to protect the vaccinated. One of my friends has forbidden her unvaccinated adult son to visit and I think she’s completely bonkers. Covid’s shown me a side to her that’s come as a complete surprise, I always thought she was down to earth and rational. It seems I was wrong.