To think 1200 is a quite a lot in a bank account for someone on benefits

[Happiestyearofmylife]

Not a benefits bashing thread. Dd is currently unable to work. She gives me £400 a month. She currently has 1200 in her account and feels like she isn’t saving enough. I’m trying to re assure her that when you have limited money that’s quite a bit.

I think it depends on how much she is getting. If she's in the support group and getting enhanced rate PIP, she could be getting quite a lot.

I'd say around a third of her total income would be reasonable.

And I think that it's great that she's saving.

Well good for you @pollythecat15 im also a carer for my severely disabled child, his DLA goes towards our general living g expenses otherwise we wouldnt be able to afford rent food etc

@MiddlesexGirl

If it would help your calculations then as a non-dependent the universal credit they would assume she is making a contribution of £75.53 per month (different and rather more complex rules for housing benefit). That may put some perspective on how much rent you are asking from her. Which begs the question of why your rent is so high relative to your ability to pay. Could you be claiming more in benefits yourself?

I don't think this non dependent deduction applies if the non dependent is on PIP ?

I think we need to know more about the circumstances- is this the same OP posting various things about their child in quick succession?

Yes it is. They've been posting strange threads on MN for many months, usually regarding being sectioned and psychiatrists. They have a very distinctive posting style and it's pretty clear that it isn't actually the DD but them who is having issues. It's concerning that they're so reliant on MN when they clearly need help from professionals and that the responses to most of their posts are feeding something unhealthy.

@x2boys

Well good for you *@pollythecat15* im also a carer for my severely disabled child, his DLA goes towards our general living g expenses otherwise we wouldnt be able to afford rent food etc

Yes exactly.

So many people talking from a position of financial privilege here.

If OP can't afford the rent for an extra room for her daughter, then she has to take the money.

If she's on ESA and PIP then she's disabled and it is quite reasonable that disabled people are given extra help. If she doesn't have a lot of outgoings then yes, she's going to save. And that is FINE! It means that when she's able to do more, she'll have the money to pay for it. She might be able to move out at some point.

Are you saying this because you have your eye on it? You want her to hand over her very small savings pot to you?

Have reread the initial post and it's clearly not about the rent, sorry got derailed by other posters.

Examples of unexpected costs that she would be able to cover from those savings.

£1200 Bond equivalent to six weeks rent plus first month's rent on a £480pm room
£100 contents insurance
£500 replacing an old laptop
£150 multiple birthday presents needed for one month
£200 a weekend away in UK with friends (family wedding or hen do you can't avoid)
£1200 three months rent Inc bills if something goes wrong with the benefits (I would probably like to have another £300 in the pot to cover food too)

Any money helps when you have an unexpected expense.

Is she paying off debts alongside saving or is she debt free? Remind her of her situation there so she realises how well she's really doing.

This thread is crazy!

OP, think of the costs that you incur a) specifically because your daughter and b) you would incur anyway but are higher because of an additional adult.

For example, are you including your daughter in the grocery shopping and cooking or does she have to buy and cook her own food? The first is more likely so think how much you spend on food and divide it by the number of people in the house. Your daughter should be paying you a portion of that.

I assume that you have internet access that your daughter uses because that is considered a modern day utility bill. Your daughter should pay a portion of that.

Water rates or water meter? Most people are on a meter now so think about what proportion of that bill you use versus what she uses and what everyone else in the house uses. The number of times she runs the washing machine compared to everyone else and long, hot baths in comparison to short, sharp showers.

Electricity. Slightly trickier. You would be baying a fair but just to keep the house going with standing charges etc. But more people also mean more usage. So perhaps this bill should reflect that rather than a % based on household size. But still something to consider especially if she has as many devices charging as most young people today.

Council tax - does she pay this? Do you pay this? She should be contributing towards this.

Finally, the rent. A small contribution would be appropriate from an adult whether they are employed or not. It doesn’t matter whether or not you would downsize if she wasn’t living with you.

I’ve got to say that, if you are including food and everything else I mentioned, I think £450pcm actually sound pretty reasonable.

However, if you want to know whether or not it is reasonable,e, do your own calculations and see how much profit or loss you are making way charging your daughter. Then decide whether it is appropriate or not.

@HoldingTheDoor

I think we need to know more about the circumstances- is this the same OP posting various things about their child in quick succession?

Yes it is. They've been posting strange threads on MN for many months, usually regarding being sectioned and psychiatrists. They have a very distinctive posting style and it's pretty clear that it isn't actually the DD but them who is having issues. It's concerning that they're so reliant on MN when they clearly need help from professionals and that the responses to most of their posts are feeding something unhealthy.

Yes, this one name changes and pops up very regularly. She'll disappear again once she's through this manic phase, then reappear in a few weeks.

PollyCat and if your housing benefit stopped how would you propose to pay for the roof over your head and your council tax that's being paid for you right now?

Back in the real world if people have more coming out than they have coming in then they can't survive. And it isnt ok to have one adult in the household struggling whilst the other adults dont have to worry about bills and have an excessive disposable income.

I'm also a carer. I take £300 off my ds towards food and bills. The reality is of ds wasnt at home still id be able to work and bring in a decent income. Of course he should contribute. Anyone who thinks over £200 a week disposable income after all bills and food is too low for one adult are living on cloud cuckoo land.

No of course I don’t want her money. As I said I was trying to re assure that she’s doing well. Our council tax is over 2000 a year plus bills and rent

I work part time as I care for her so our income is lower.

I think your daughter is doing well to have saved so much. Is she anxious to save for something in particular?

I don't think this non dependent deduction applies if the non dependent is on PIP ?

That is correct. I was just trying to show how much would be expected.
I'm assuming the OP isn't in benefits which is why they need the £400. Otherwise, assuming they don't live in a place that is too big for the number of people in it (ie subject to bedroom tax) then the rent would usually be covered by the benefits, or would certainly not need a £400 top up.

As regards the DD's ESA and PIP, this does not include housing costs. ESA is the amount for day to day living and PIP is for additional costs due to disability - it's not intended for housing costs but I assume that is what the DD is using it for.
I'm also assuming the DD is on nsESA (ie the contribution based ESA) as old style ESA is no longer available, and that she has no additional amounts added to her claim. If that is the case then it may be worth the DD claiming UC too, as if she's going to be out of work for any length of time she will want to get the assessment for LCWRA under way.

Is this the same adult child you’ve posted about a lot recently? If so, she’s clearly unwell and is now the right time to be discussing money? Can it wait a few weeks?

My son, albeit isn’t on benefits doesn’t have a high wage but money is taken off me by housing benefit as it’s expected he will pay his way. So then if he doesn’t I’m short and I have 3 other kids to feed and my son who is an adult. It’s his choice to live here, I want him here but if you’re earning money you pay to live. Your daughter isn’t earning so I would be honest with her about the family finances see how much he has left over after whatever you need to pay your bills is and then negotiate how much she continues to give you, at the end of the day you need to put a roof over your and the rest of the families head, my son wouldn’t see me struggle and give nothing. But I’m reasonable and I talk to him about it. I can’t save either I literally have nothing spare at the moment due to ill health. It’s a horrible situation tbh.

@Happiestyearofmylife

I work part time as I care for her so our income is lower.

If she needs care, then she’s clearly not well and needs help.

And in answer to your original query, of course it is hard to save on benefits. She's doing well. But she's never going to find it easy to save unless she diverts her PIP to savings rather than support for her disabilities.

@rosinavera

Crikey there are some nasty judgemental people on Mumsnet today!

Everyday

Are you eligible for Carer's Allowance Allowance?

It sounds like you both could do with a benefit check.
Try one of these: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/benefits-introduction/what-benefits-can-i-get/

Aye-keep telling yourself [email protected] think profiteering is pretty low when your dd is skint&needs a break-thats what families do,you know-help out where they can🤣maybe do her a favour then&you get a smaller house&she moves somewhere cheaper with less strings attached

@Happiestyearofmylife

No of course I don’t want her money. As I said I was trying to re assure that she’s doing well. Our council tax is over 2000 a year plus bills and rent

Can you claim a disabled reduction for your council tax bill?

We have an en-suite bathroom connected to the bedroom (something we 100% needed and wouldn’t have been able to move in without) and we get a 25% discount off the bill.

To all the people aghast at OP taking money from her daughter; If you became disabled and had to move in with a parent meaning they then had to rent a bigger property and go part time to care for you, would you really not expect to cover your own costs? I wouldn't dream of being that selfish!

She’s paying you £100 a week out of disability benefits. I think that’s more than enough. You seem pissed off that she’s got savings.

For those judging I take it you have no experience of raising a disabled child?

I'm a LP with a disabled ds.

I work term time in education. My career hasn't taken off because I have to care for him. I earn a good hourly rate but cannot work more hours and cannot get the same hourly rate at a FT job because Ive not been able to upskill.

When he leave college this year he also knows he has to contribute to household bills because currently it looks like I'll still have to do all his transporting, cooking shopping and a majority of the housework.

I'll lose tax credits because he becomes an adult. His disability and my responsibilities don't get lesser because he's left education.

So the choice is I either take a second job and he has no chance of a career or he takes a job which I gave imitate and he contributes accordingly.

I'm currently doing some training (at quite a cost) so I can switch careers or take some extra hours in a second job if this works.