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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 1200 is a quite a lot in a bank account for someone on benefits

213 replies

Happiestyearofmylife · 30/08/2021 11:50

Not a benefits bashing thread. Dd is currently unable to work. She gives me £400 a month. She currently has 1200 in her account and feels like she isn’t saving enough. I’m trying to re assure her that when you have limited money that’s quite a bit.

OP posts:
ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 12:20

@L1ttleSeahorse

The money she is given isnt to pay rent though. She would get that AND housing beenfit if she moved out
Then she should move out. If she doesn't, she has to pay OP.
newnortherner111 · 30/08/2021 12:20

I don't think it is a lot, but I'd guess it is a lot more than many people. I think OP the fact your DD wants to save and have a buffer is something to be applauded.

PumpkinKlNG · 30/08/2021 12:21

I’m surprised people are saying she shouldn’t have to pay the op money for rent bills etc? When I was 16 I was on JSA for a bit and my mum expected me to pay her for living at home, in her words she no longer got child benefit/tax’s credits for me so I had to pay. Surprised people are saying she shouldn’t!

EmmalineC · 30/08/2021 12:21

If I were your daughter, I'd move out and rent privately, rather than subsidise your accommodation.

If this is the same daughter who has been/still is very unwell, then I'm not impressed with your attitude.

Jaysmith71 · 30/08/2021 12:22

The rules say you can have up to £6000 before you start to lose benefit entitlement.

Babyroobs · 30/08/2021 12:22

@titchy

If she's on UC she can't be getting more than £350 a month (and will reduce next month) so how is she managing to give you £400 Hmm
Because she could well be getting limited capability for work and work related activity element too which would be another £343 a month and possibly a disability benefit like PIP as well, so could potentially be getting £700 UC and then a few hundred in disability benefits.
L1ttleSeahorse · 30/08/2021 12:22

Emmaline exactly

Pollythecat15 · 30/08/2021 12:23

That's way too much to take from her.

It reminds me of my own mother when I was in my late teens and working long 12 hour shifts for rubbish pay (before minimum wage).
She would have control of my bank card (threatened to kick me out if I didn't give it to her) and draw half my wages for herself.
If I did extra hours and earned overtime she would still take half of whatever I earned regardless.
She would spend it on expensive aromatherapy appointments/ back massages for herself.

This is why I am the complete opposite with my own daughter.

RussianSpy101 · 30/08/2021 12:23

@PumpkinKlNG and if she were on JSA fair enough, but according to the OPs other thread she’s just been discharged from the mental health crisis team meaning she is a venerable adult, possibly a high suicide risk.
If the OP can’t afford her rent, that’s not her daughters problem. She’s been posting about seeking a private psychiatrist because her daughter is struggling so much so how will she afford that, with her daughters £400pm perhaps?

FortunesFave · 30/08/2021 12:25

@Pollythecat15

That's way too much to take from her.

It reminds me of my own mother when I was in my late teens and working long 12 hour shifts for rubbish pay (before minimum wage).
She would have control of my bank card (threatened to kick me out if I didn't give it to her) and draw half my wages for herself.
If I did extra hours and earned overtime she would still take half of whatever I earned regardless.
She would spend it on expensive aromatherapy appointments/ back massages for herself.

This is why I am the complete opposite with my own daughter.

If your Mother had enough to pay the bills then yes she was mean. But it doesn't sound like OP has.
ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 12:25

This is why I am the complete opposite with my own daughter

Lucky you can afford that. Many people cannot support adult children, they don';t have the money. Yours, and other posters, privilege is showing.

Jakethekid · 30/08/2021 12:26

I see you have quite a few threads posted in the last couple days. Are these all about the same child?

Babyroobs · 30/08/2021 12:26

@OhLookAtThat

Also just to add with PIP there’s no maximum savings limit. It’s not a means tested benefit. Just for the ESA.
Only if income related ESA. Contributions based ESA is not means tested.
BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 12:26

It’s a decent amount if you live with a parent who will cover the cost of any broken appliances, unexpected bills etc. What emergency expenses would she potentially have?
If £400 per month includes all bills it’s a lot cheaper than the private sector

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 12:27

Seems an odd thread to start about your child. Personally I don't think it's unreasonable for her to pay towards household expenses whilst she lives with you, but it seems you're weirdly bitter about her being on benefits. To qualify for ESA and PIP she must be quite poorly and deemed unable to work?

beigebrownblue · 30/08/2021 12:29

@plodalong12

People on benefits are officially allowed up to 6000 on their bank accounts I believe.

It’s £16,000. Any savings between £6000 and £15,999 in bank makes the benefit amount lessen depending on how much and circumstances, I guess.

Yes thanks. Thats what I was meaning to say.
Californiansunsets · 30/08/2021 12:29

I take £280 a month from my son who works a full-time job. That covers his rent, food, internet, heating. I wouldn't dream of taking any more off my son.

Peanutsandchilli · 30/08/2021 12:30

Depends how much she's actually getting. Pip rates can be as little as £60 per week or as much as £150. It still sounds like you're taking too much off her though, and I don't think £1200 is that much to have saved, tbh.

SlipSlop · 30/08/2021 12:32

[quote RussianSpy101]@PumpkinKlNG and if she were on JSA fair enough, but according to the OPs other thread she’s just been discharged from the mental health crisis team meaning she is a venerable adult, possibly a high suicide risk.
If the OP can’t afford her rent, that’s not her daughters problem. She’s been posting about seeking a private psychiatrist because her daughter is struggling so much so how will she afford that, with her daughters £400pm perhaps?[/quote]
Until you know absolutely everything about the OP's circumstances, please stop the criticism.

Not everyone having a mental health crisis is a suicide risk. I talk from experience having a child that has been sectioned several times.

As some on here have said, not evey parent can afford to financially support an adult child much as they would like to.

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 12:32

@Californiansunsets

I take £280 a month from my son who works a full-time job. That covers his rent, food, internet, heating. I wouldn't dream of taking any more off my son.
If that works for you and you can afford to run the household then that's good, but it doesn't sound like that's the case for OP, not sure why people are so judgemental.
Branleuse · 30/08/2021 12:33

If she is on PIP and ESA because she cant work, then I think she would maybe be financially better off somewhere she could claim for her rent, rather than living with you, as you cant get the housing benefit element if living with family.
She is on benefits as you say, but its not as if shes just lounging on the dole. If she has a disability or condition that means she is actually unable to work then im glad she is not being totally left to rot with the normal universal credit amount. Hopefully she can save more and maybe move out

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 12:34

If the OP can’t afford her rent, that’s not her daughters problem.

OP has said if adults weren't living with her she wouldn't need such a big house, and would likely downsize and pay less rent. I'm sure if OP falls behind on rent that will be DDs problem?

MichelleScarn · 30/08/2021 12:35

Will op not also have lost her single persons council tax discount?

Snugglepumpkin · 30/08/2021 12:35

Your daughter would get the same amount of PIP even if she was working.
That payment is to assist her with her life as a disabled person.

1200 is not enough to live on for much more than 1 month if she had to rent a flat & pay everything herself.
As people are being slowly transitioned onto Universal Credit they have been advised for years now to have 4-6 weeks money saved to cover the '5 week' period that they don't get paid for (& any change in circumstance could trigger that transistion) so your daughter is actually doing the responsible thing by doing this.

I never understand why some people seem to think it's wrong for people to attempt to save when unemployed.
Sadly that's not possible for the majority, but usually those who do manage to save anything live very frugal lives.

Branleuse · 30/08/2021 12:35

btw, i do think that 1200 is a reasonable amount of savings and its ok to take money for her keep if shes costing you money to house and youre doing a lot for her. I hope you can come to an agreement that youre both happy with