Page 4 | To think 1200 is a quite a lot in a bank account for someone on benefits

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 12:35

As in it will also be the DDs problem if they're kicked out onto the streets, not that she will have caused it. Those saying the daughter would be better off living elsewhere, perhaps, but food, water bill, electric and gas, initial outlay for appliances probably won't be far off a few hundred a month anyway.

peachgreen · 30/08/2021 12:36

@HollowTalk Sorry, I wasn't clear - I don't think OP is wrong to be charging her! I just think it's reasonable for her daughter to want to have some savings if possible.

Branleuse · 30/08/2021 12:38

dont forget that once a child is over 18 and not in education, then you cant claim any child benefit or tax credits for them anymore. Many people have to charge their adult children somethng, but a lot of people make their children leave home as they cant afford to cover them anymore

Babyroobs · 30/08/2021 12:39

@Snugglepumpkin

Your daughter would get the same amount of PIP even if she was working. That payment is to assist her with her life as a disabled person.

1200 is not enough to live on for much more than 1 month if she had to rent a flat & pay everything herself.
As people are being slowly transitioned onto Universal Credit they have been advised for years now to have 4-6 weeks money saved to cover the '5 week' period that they don't get paid for (& any change in circumstance could trigger that transistion) so your daughter is actually doing the responsible thing by doing this.

I never understand why some people seem to think it's wrong for people to attempt to save when unemployed.
Sadly that's not possible for the majority, but usually those who do manage to save anything live very frugal lives.

There is now a two week run on of ESA when switching to UC.

blissfulllife · 30/08/2021 12:39

All these ppl saying 400 a month is too much! I think you're all mad! A hundred a week for a roof over your head, your food and no other bills! She's disabled so op could be her carer. Maybe had to give up work/career to do that and probably getting the meagre £67 a week carers allowance to that, and then be bloody taxed on it!

Most of you have no idea of the possible additional costs of caring for a disabled person. In my case my daughter needs a special diet, heating needs to be regulated for her so winter means huge bills, medical equipment power costs, transport to appointments then parking fees etc. The extra rent from getting a bigger home to accommodate them.

Op people in our situation rarely understand. I think your daughter has done well to save that.

Pollythecat15 · 30/08/2021 12:40

@ManifestDestinee

This is why I am the complete opposite with my own daughter

Lucky you can afford that. Many people cannot support adult children, they don';t have the money. Yours, and other posters, privilege is showing.

I am a single parent who can't work due to caring full time for a very severely disabled child. I do struggle believe me.

maddiemookins16mum · 30/08/2021 12:41

@VladmirsPoutine

She currently has 1200 in her account and feels like she isn’t saving enough.

Well if she's shelling out £400 a month to you I'm not surprised she feels like she's not saving enough.

Shelling out or paying her way…….

Changechangychange · 30/08/2021 12:43

If I were your daughter, I'd move out and rent privately, rather than subsidise your accommodation.

Presumably OP would be fine with that, and would then move to a smaller more affordable property?

The rent only needs subsidising because the daughter is living there, so OP has had to move to a house with more bedrooms.

x2boys · 30/08/2021 12:43

@L1ttleSeahorse

If she moved out she would be given housing benefit to pay rent.

Esa is instead of jobseekers.
Pip is to support a disability - not to pay rent.

She would also have to pay utility bills and living expenses which would come out of pip.

SonicStars · 30/08/2021 12:44

I think she's doing really well saving anything and shouldn't get hung up on it. She's got a safety net in that for example if the washing machine broke you would buy a new one not her and so doesn't need unnecessary pressure of building up large amounts in the bank "just in case."

If she has a specific target for her savings e.g. a bond on a flat then it may be different but if general rainy day savings then lots of positive reinforcement for your daughter. Quite a few savings accounts are set up for just £50 a month going in.

Unless of course this wasn't about savings and was about her asking you to reduce rent. You know what you need and I assume she knows what it would cost to live elsewhere. You also both know better than us how much support she receives from being in the actual home as opposed to nearby.

fakeplantsdontlookreal · 30/08/2021 12:45

OP ignore the madness. You are providing your daughter with a secure roof over her head, do people really think she would be better off if OP kicked her out and made her fend for herself, with mental health issues, just so she could get housing benefit?

Benefits aren't there to give you savings......

OP, you are not doing anything wrong, not everyone can afford to let their kids live at home rent free for years.

RussianSpy101 · 30/08/2021 12:46

@SlipSlop the circumstances outlined previously by OP with the crisis team and discharge would indicate high risk vulnerable adult.

rosinavera · 30/08/2021 12:48

Crikey there are some nasty judgemental people on Mumsnet today!

DishingOutDone · 30/08/2021 12:48

I think we need to know more about the circumstances- is this the same OP posting various things about their child in quick succession?

MakeMeCleanTheHouse · 30/08/2021 12:49

I think it's really important for young people to experience budgeting and if they earn benefits or wages without any e pension they will miss that life skill because its a lot of money with no rent or bills to pay.

If the OP's daughter is on enhanced benefits she might have more available income than the OP? Has anyone considered this? Lots of cash for someone with mental health issues isn't a great thing. Poverty isn't either but some huge assumptions have been made.

DogFoodPie · 30/08/2021 12:49

It all depends if the dd is better off living at home. Is OP giving her a lot of help and support and does living in the family home give her company that is beneficial? Living alone might not be the best option for her.

Babyroobs · 30/08/2021 12:49

If op's daughter didn't pay £400 a month, she would quickly be over the savings limit for means tested benefits. I see this quite a bit in my line of work - disabled adults getting well over £1000 a month in benefits and disability benefits and they barely spend any if parents don't use/ take some of it, then it accumulates and they no longer qualify for means tested benefits. People on highest rates of PIP are getting over £600 a month just in disability benefits.

Pollythecat15 · 30/08/2021 12:49

@ManifestDestinee

This is why I am the complete opposite with my own daughter

Lucky you can afford that. Many people cannot support adult children, they don';t have the money. Yours, and other posters, privilege is showing.

Neither do I. Every month is a struggle particularly when extras are needed like school uniform.

I'm a single parent. I can't work due to caring full time for my youngest child who is very severely disabled.

Despite my struggle, I still wouldn't dream of taking that amount from my daughter.

ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 12:49

If the OP can’t afford her rent, that’s not her daughters problem

Of course it is!! If OP can't pay her rent, she gets evicted. Her daughter also gets evicted. How is that not her problem? If OP could rent something smaller without her daughter, why should the daughter not pay?

These answers are insane. Op should lose her home while the adult who lives with her piles up savings in her account? You're all mad.

Babyroobs · 30/08/2021 12:50

@DogFoodPie

It all depends if the dd is better off living at home. Is OP giving her a lot of help and support and does living in the family home give her company that is beneficial? Living alone might not be the best option for her.

Exactly. I don't understand why people are saying she should move out and rent ? How beneficial is that going to be for someone who has severe mental health issues?

THisbackwithavengeance · 30/08/2021 12:51

I sometimes think there is an alternative universe on MN.

Noone is entitled to save anything.

I was a single FT working parent for many years. I saved literally nothing. Every penny of my wages and tax credits and child benefit was spent and accounted for.

The money that this girl receives in benefits is for her living expenses which includes her share of the OP's household expenses. If she doesnt like it, she can always move out.

Why should she use her PIP/benefits to amass savings and live cost free at the OP's expense?

MyDcAreMarvel · 30/08/2021 12:51

@Holweighthelp Are people forgetting the point of benefits?! She is being given the money to pay rent and bills and survive. absolutely not the op’s dd is unable to work she is entitled to the same quality and standard of life as a healthy working adult.

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2021 12:51

It sounds like a catch 22 situation OP.

If she manages to save enough to move out, you're not going to be able to afford your own rent are you?

I know you said you wouldn't need such a big place if there weren't adults living there, but downsizing takes time and can't just be done overnight.

How many other adults are living there and what are their contributions?

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 12:52

Despite my struggle, I still wouldn't dream of taking that amount from my daughter.

Why not? I don't see why you'd struggle on, rather than take some money towards living expenses which will still be cheaper than if living elsewhere, and leave leave them money for extras

MiddlesexGirl · 30/08/2021 12:53

If it would help your calculations then as a non-dependent the universal credit they would assume she is making a contribution of £75.53 per month (different and rather more complex rules for housing benefit).
That may put some perspective on how much rent you are asking from her.
Which begs the question of why your rent is so high relative to your ability to pay. Could you be claiming more in benefits yourself?