WIBU discharging myself from hospital

[Carrottopppp]

Sorry if this is long but it's important I tell you every detail to give the full story. Saturday evening I woke from a nap to find myself really sore and swollen in my groin and part of my pubis, overnight it swelled considerably went really red and painful to walk, sit, stand etc, I called OOH gp Sunday morning who got me an urgent appointment at our urgent treatment centre within A&E. App was at 9.30am with an absolutely lovely doctor who left no stone unturned and said I had developed an abscess and it needed draining urgently due to the risk of sepsis and the fact it had literally appeared out of nowhere and had grown 4x4 inches literally overnight. He got me an appointment with emergency surgical ambulatory care for 2.15pm yesterday, I attended the nurse took one look and said "no surgeon on this ward will touch that as it is on your pubis not your groin" she sent me back to urgent care and the doctor I saw that morning took me back to his room had another look then said its definitely a groin abscess but we'll let gynae have a look anyway, he sent me up to the gynae ward, 3 different doctors took a look but it was the most senior surgeon on the ward who said it actually is groin, not his area of expertise and also due to the amount of blood vessels in the area he couldn't touch it, so I waited and he came back and said I had to go back to emergency surgical ambulatory care as its them who deal with these things. So off I went an as soon as I walked in I was met by the same nurse who told me she had spoken to a surgeon up on surgical assessment ward and that they were waiting for me and expecting me and I may be treated as a golden patient I. E doctor has a look at it then books me a time to go back the next day and have it removed so off I went up to the ward.

Now this is where I started losing my rag mentally, met by a nurse on the ward who asks another lady to show me to my bed and she said "ill be with you in a minute" yeah you guessed it, never saw her again. I was shown my bed obs done and that's it never saw anybody again, nobody knew when the doctor was coming to speak to me, nobody could tell me whether or not I could eat or drink by this point I hadn't eaten in 26 hours, Its on my notes that I'm on antibiotics yet nobody asked if I was due any (I was but mine were at home as nobody told me when all this started that I would become an inpatient), I waited hours, I had absolutely no overnight stuff with me, I got frustrated and I went to the nurses station to let them know I'm discharging myself and have someone call me to arrange to go back in when it's convenient. The nurse couldn't even find the doctors number to call and ask permission to sign off the discharge, and with that I left.

So to clarify I'd been in and out of hospital for 12 hours, I was no further forward than knowing I had an abscess, i had 4 doctors, 2 nurses and a receptionist all having a gander at my genitals, I was passed from place to place, I walked in agony the entire length of our hospital 1/2 mile 3 times, nobody could tell me what the hell was happening and all the prodding and poking aggravated the abscess to the point it doubled in size and started spreading down my leg. WIBU, maybe I was but I was frustrated, tired and I hadn't eaten in 28 hours. I'm planning on attending A&E this morning and hopefully try and get somewhere, I'm due back in work tomorrow and need it removing as my job requires me to be on my feet for 8 hours a day and don't want to be walking around in pain.

I used to get angry / anxious in hospitals - because it's hard to avoid taking the lack of communication personally if you don't see how busy people are. You have no control and it seems as if people don't care about you.

I don't now. It helps to lower your expectations. See the hospital bed as your safe space in there. Remember that they aren't going to forget about you - they need those beds. Days are structured with medication rounds and checks, so they will come to you within that rhythm, and you can ask questions then. It's not personal or (usually) negligent. It's like a plane - no-one is going to serve you a meal during take-off, and they won't come running with drinks during turbulence. You can't see their work patterns and stresses, but they have them.

It wasn't a great idea to come home, but it's understandable. Don't worry about wasting energy defending it - it's done. If you use the circumstance to boost yourself a bit - eat something, drink, bring anything that will help and calm you to the hospital - you'll have got somewhere. People won't interrogate you - they're too busy - so go back to A&E and ease yourself back into the system. You only get one body - look after yourself.

@ManifestDestinee Those of us who do put more in than we take out would want those of us who can't to be treated decently, in a timely way and with respect. It is paid for by all of us to varying degrees.

OP, do you need validation of your feelings in order to move on? Ok, here you go: how you were treated yesterday wasn’t how care should be in an ideal world. You’re not unreasonable to have found it upsetting and difficult. That’s true.

Here’s another thing that is true: your anxiety and your feelings around your lack of control are causing you to make really bad choices.

Both those things can be and are true.

Have something to eat and drink now, then go back to the hospital. You wont be on the table in the next six hours unless you suddenly and massively deteriorate, which is extremely unlikely, but if it did happen, they’d be able to deal with your couple of slices of toast or whatever.

The longer you leave this, the worse you’re risking it becoming though.

What is the name of the antibiotic? There aren’t any that you have to wait to eat three hours.

I'm assuming flucloxicillen.

I'm on exactly the same ones for an abscess on the same place.

It's take an hour before food or 2 hours after on an empty stomach.

@Carrottopppp

6 different people have seen it, including one of the most senior surgeons they know what they are dealing with. Like I've said, up until the point of going on to the surgical assessment ward I complied with everything, the 3 nearly 4 miles of walking all around the hospital when it was clearly obvious I was in pain, showing it to all and sundry when they asked, answering the same question over and over again to numerous different people. Again there comes a point when frustration appears due to lack of communication and belittling me in front of numerous other patients about what was wrong with me.

Well, there you go. "One of the most senior surgeons" assessed you, on a Sunday of a bank holiday.

You had a bed on a surgical ward.

You were in the system. At some point one of their juniors would have come down and consented you for surgery. They would have probably asked you all the same questions, because multiple layers of redundancy helps reduce mistakes.

As @Surgnamechange has eloquently described, noone could predict when this would be, because it would be slotted in when they were out of theatre and not managing patients with more immediately life threatening conditions. They could have answered your questions about what exactly you needed doing.

Then you would have been on a waiting list for an urgent theatre slot.

At some point the anaesthetist would have come to see you, and you could have discussed whether LA, or sedation + LA, or regional block were appropriate, given your understandable fear of GA.

When all that would have been is unpredictable because it would have depended on what more immediately life-threatening came through the door. It might have been in 5 minutes time. It might have been at 1am. But you would have been on the list.

As is, your bed would have been filled probably before you even left the car park.

Your choices at this point are to stay home, rail against the unfairness of the system, and hope you get better. You might. Immune systems are wonderful things.

Or suck it up. Go back to A+E. Accept that you will have to wait some hours to be assessed there, then wait again for the surgical bed you chose to leave to become free.

I would suggest that the lattere - frustrating and frightening as it is - is the sensible option. But, as you have said, it's your body and your choice.

Good luck.

It's beginning to sound as though the combined infection, lack of food and drink and your anxiety about hospital/job/family is seriously effecting your judgement now.

Sepsis can kill you. It's less likely that will happen whilst you sit patiently on a hospital bed where people have a duty of care over you.

[quote HotSauceCommittee]@ManifestDestinee Those of us who do put more in than we take out would want those of us who can't to be treated decently, in a timely way and with respect. It is paid for by all of us to varying degrees.[/quote]
That's almost no-one, is the point. Someone always says on this thread "its not free, we pay for it", when it's unlikely that they actually do.

I think all of us want the already crippled NHS not to have their time and resources wasted further by the likes of OP legging it after using them, and then demanding to be seen again.

I can't believe this - you have used up all these people's time and then you discharge yourself ? You talk as if you are in a private health care system . Why have you not had a vaccine ?

If you are at risk of sepsis it's time to write notes to your kids and make sure your husband knows what he is doing. Maybe.

If you have sepsis, for every hour you wait to get treatment you are 8% more likely to die from it....just thought you should know.

@Carrottopppp

I'm still in my probationary period at work and have already had a day off due to carpal tunnel so I really don't want to be taking any more time off. I knew before I had discharged myself that I wasn't doing the right thing but I was tired, worrying about the children my job, the fact I had nothing with me, I hadn't eaten in 28 hours, the last time I went that long without food I was admitted to hospital as I nearly put myself in a coma and didn't want to risk it again and nobody would let me eat or drink until the doctor had been round, I hate hospitals, even after having a baby I get myself cleaned up let the baby be checked by the midwives and that's it I try discharging myself, I'm basically forced to stay for at least 6 hours but it's sends my anxiety through the roof and I hate that feeling

You can't work if you're dead.

FFS. Discharging yourself was beyond mad. And dangerous.

Get yourself back to hospital.

@itsgettingwierd

What is the name of the antibiotic? There aren’t any that you have to wait to eat three hours.

I'm assuming flucloxicillen.

I'm on exactly the same ones for an abscess on the same place.

It's take an hour before food or 2 hours after on an empty stomach.

That doesn't mean you can't eat either side of the dose! It's an either/or choice.

one hour before OR 2 hours after!

Unfortunately you have to work around the hospital procedure however disjointed it may seem, they don't work around you.

@Carrottopppp at the end of the day, the buck stops with you. You are in control of your own decisions. The NHS do not owe you anything if you make the capable decision that you refuse treatment. Just please don't expect them to then chase you and offer a solution. The staff are not just sitting around ignoring you, they likely have people with more pressing needs.

@Rosscameasdoody

And to previous posters telling the OP to have something to eat before she goes back to the hospital. Not the best advice if she’s a surgical case.

Op is struggling to eat. A small amount of light food such as toast will quickly be processed. She’s hardly likely to have surgery within 6 hours of eating at home.

@MrsMaizel

I can't believe this - you have used up all these people's time and then you discharge yourself ? You talk as if you are in a private health care system . Why have you not had a vaccine ?

And she's wasting our time too. I'm out.

I think we’re feeding oxygen to the OP, just fanning her flames.

I had private surgery last year. Despite paying many thousands, I still had to be admitted and then wait around for hours to see the surgeon and anaesthetist, and still struggled to get good pain relief afterwards. It’s a crappy system but it is what it is. Try and take things with you like books or a phone and charger, and just wait it out. It’s very frustrating, but I don’t see what else you can do. Or don’t, and just get sicker 🤷‍♀️

@Carrottopppp you can eat while on antibiotics they just absorb slightly quicker if you don’t. Why would you think you absolutely couldn’t an hour before or two hours after?
Also 28 hours of no food nearly put you in a coma really?

@Daisy95 is exactly right about how things work.

Welcome to the disorganized shit-show that is the NHS. Individual doctors and nurses are mostly great, but the management and coordination are absolutely pants.

No advice, but I wish you luck.

YANBU to dislike every minute of this experience but this is unfortunately how it works, everyone is stretched thinly. Your emergency surgery is more urgent than an elective surgery booked in two weeks but not as urgent as someone literally about to die if they aren't treated so it becomes a waiting game. A few years back I was rushed in due to a nasty infection which could have caused sepsis. They actually really scared me as it was a Saturday, I had so many missed calls on my phone and a voice message telling me to urgently get to the hospital. In an absolute panic I got there but nothing happened for two days. I just sat in bed browsing my phone. However they can monitor you, if you do suddenly feel worse you are already there and can be bumped up the emergency list should the need arise.

I don't understand how I've lost my place on the surgery list when I wasn't even on it until the doctor had done their rounds and even the nurses didn't know when that would be. The hospital wasn't even busy, I went to urgent care twice and I was the only one in there, I passed A&E 3 times and again nobody in there either, all 3 wards I attended again nurses, doctors etc all stood around with next to no patients. The only time that was wasted was my own, I did everything that was asked of me in regards to going to so many different wards to figure out who should be seeing to me, I didn't eat or drink just in case, I happily agreed to letting so many different people examine a very private area even though it turned out its not their problem. I did what I was supposed to do until it got to the point where this is my health on the line yet I had no control over it, I had no idea what was going on with MY BODY, I'm supposed to just sit there wait for somebody to eventually let me know what the hell is going on, my entire life can't just come to a halt because nobody knows what the the other is doing

Now you’re being ridiculous. You may not have been on a surgery list at the time, but you were in a bed, safe and monitored until they could get to you - and much nearer to being on a surgery list than you are now !! You left in a strop and yet you clearly believe that you should have some sort of priority when you go back - the sense of entitlement from you is unbelievable. I don’t believe for one moment that the doctors were all ‘stood around’ in an A&E, and how do you know how busy they were ? You can’t possibly know what’s going on behind the scenes and the responsibilities those doctors have in other areas. You’d do well to go back and read the post from the ex SHO, you might learn something. You seem hell bent on criticising the NHS and all the time you waste posting, means the infection is spreading and becoming harder to treat.

The trouble is that you can't necessarily tell how ill you are. A few years ago I had a temperature and a cough and a rattly chest, following an ear infection. I went to the out of hours GP to ask for antibiotics, and it turned out that I had pneumonia and extremely high infection markers. I was admitted for 4 days of IV antibiotics, and I had had absolutely no idea how ill I was. I only went to the out of hours GP because when I was seen for the ear infection they told me to come back if I started running a temperature, so I did. I drove myself down completely expecting to drive straight home again with a prescription. In an otherwise healthy youngish person you can get a lot further with a massive infection than you would think!

You are being utterly ridiculous, and immature. You've essentially thrown a tantrum and risked your health in doing so.