WIBU discharging myself from hospital

[Carrottopppp]

Sorry if this is long but it's important I tell you every detail to give the full story. Saturday evening I woke from a nap to find myself really sore and swollen in my groin and part of my pubis, overnight it swelled considerably went really red and painful to walk, sit, stand etc, I called OOH gp Sunday morning who got me an urgent appointment at our urgent treatment centre within A&E. App was at 9.30am with an absolutely lovely doctor who left no stone unturned and said I had developed an abscess and it needed draining urgently due to the risk of sepsis and the fact it had literally appeared out of nowhere and had grown 4x4 inches literally overnight. He got me an appointment with emergency surgical ambulatory care for 2.15pm yesterday, I attended the nurse took one look and said "no surgeon on this ward will touch that as it is on your pubis not your groin" she sent me back to urgent care and the doctor I saw that morning took me back to his room had another look then said its definitely a groin abscess but we'll let gynae have a look anyway, he sent me up to the gynae ward, 3 different doctors took a look but it was the most senior surgeon on the ward who said it actually is groin, not his area of expertise and also due to the amount of blood vessels in the area he couldn't touch it, so I waited and he came back and said I had to go back to emergency surgical ambulatory care as its them who deal with these things. So off I went an as soon as I walked in I was met by the same nurse who told me she had spoken to a surgeon up on surgical assessment ward and that they were waiting for me and expecting me and I may be treated as a golden patient I. E doctor has a look at it then books me a time to go back the next day and have it removed so off I went up to the ward.

Now this is where I started losing my rag mentally, met by a nurse on the ward who asks another lady to show me to my bed and she said "ill be with you in a minute" yeah you guessed it, never saw her again. I was shown my bed obs done and that's it never saw anybody again, nobody knew when the doctor was coming to speak to me, nobody could tell me whether or not I could eat or drink by this point I hadn't eaten in 26 hours, Its on my notes that I'm on antibiotics yet nobody asked if I was due any (I was but mine were at home as nobody told me when all this started that I would become an inpatient), I waited hours, I had absolutely no overnight stuff with me, I got frustrated and I went to the nurses station to let them know I'm discharging myself and have someone call me to arrange to go back in when it's convenient. The nurse couldn't even find the doctors number to call and ask permission to sign off the discharge, and with that I left.

So to clarify I'd been in and out of hospital for 12 hours, I was no further forward than knowing I had an abscess, i had 4 doctors, 2 nurses and a receptionist all having a gander at my genitals, I was passed from place to place, I walked in agony the entire length of our hospital 1/2 mile 3 times, nobody could tell me what the hell was happening and all the prodding and poking aggravated the abscess to the point it doubled in size and started spreading down my leg. WIBU, maybe I was but I was frustrated, tired and I hadn't eaten in 28 hours. I'm planning on attending A&E this morning and hopefully try and get somewhere, I'm due back in work tomorrow and need it removing as my job requires me to be on my feet for 8 hours a day and don't want to be walking around in pain.

6 different people have seen it, including one of the most senior surgeons they know what they are dealing with. Like I've said, up until the point of going on to the surgical assessment ward I complied with everything, the 3 nearly 4 miles of walking all around the hospital when it was clearly obvious I was in pain, showing it to all and sundry when they asked, answering the same question over and over again to numerous different people. Again there comes a point when frustration appears due to lack of communication and belittling me in front of numerous other patients about what was wrong with me.

[quote Carrottopppp]@doingnothing when I was pregnant with my son I had really bad nausea and I didn't eat or drink for 24 hours I attended urgent care as I had a pounding headache for days that wouldn't budge, I had obs and urine sample taken, blood pressure was sky high, I was severely dehydrated, a very fast heart rate and my ketones were through the roof, doctor warned if I went home I ran the risk of slipping In to a coma during the night, I still went home on the promise I'd attend my gp the next morning and go from there, attended the gp everything still the same so went up to hospital and stayed for 13 hours until blood pressure came down, I'd had fluids and food then left[/quote]
So you're used to ignoring medical advice? Go to hospital op stop creating more problems for you and the nhs

Are you back at the hospital now? It's frustrating but try to stay calm it will get sorted.

I work in healthcare and this isn't overly uncommon for a variety of reasons. I was an inpatient not too long ago, and even understanding the issues with short staffing etc it was really frustrating; it's easy to forget that a quick sentence to a patient makes all of the difference- ie hi x, I understand you're here for y, we do have your details and be back around in z time frame. Being just bundled in a bed, no idea if the ward staff know what you're there for etc is quite stressful, as is being passed from department to department. That said OP you really need to get yourself back in, if left it can become critical quite quickly.

Pack an overnight bag, remember a phone charger so can continue venting on MN, try and arrange stuff so it's sorted for tomorrow and you don't have to worry, and then just accept you will be waiting around for a bit.

Also to add, those saying you should have said you needed antibiotics, of course that's the ideal, but not everyone feels able to, for some approaching and asking someone is really stressful. Might sound ridiculous to some, and of course I'm pretty sure some do it to try and prove a point ie no one came around and asked me for hours, but it's not always that easy.

I think everyone on this thread fully appreciates the frustration OP, the communication you got was poor and the whole experience sounds very frustrating. Most of us have experienced similar. But really, you need to go back. They won’t be chasing you up, you are discharged, at your own request. Unless you do something, nothing will happen. Your bed will already have someone else in it. At handover this morning, someone will have said “x discharged herself so now in bed 2 we have y”, and you won’t be given another thought. You are responsible for your health now, you made that decision. It’s a crap system, but you aren’t proving a point to anyone by sitting at home. The only people you’re worrying is yourself and your loved ones.

Again there comes a point when frustration appears due to lack of communication and belittling me in front of numerous other patients about what was wrong with me.

You are now beyond whiny and I get the impression you’re looking for reasons not to go back. Google can’t diagnose or treat, so why are you still posting when you should be gathering your stuff and getting yourself back to to the hospital ?

It is now 3 hours since you started this post and yet you still haven't returned to hospital. Pp are wasting their time posting - you are more interested in moaning and arguing than prioritising your health. Good luck.

I’ve had an abscess removed in A&E before under local anaesthetic, but it was only about 2cm. It left a hole and had to be packed every other day for 2 weeks at gp surgery. I can only imagine the size of yours would need a general anaesthetic to get it all out and deal with the wound after, so would presume you would need to stay overnight.

Not sure who said it but the post about not taking overnight stuff with me is ridiculous, I had no idea they were keeping me in until I was sent up to the surgical assessment ward, nobody throughout the entire day said I would be staying.

You have discharged against medical advice, all doctors there are advising you to stay but you didn't and you have been found to have capacity. So basically if anything goes wrong it was your decision to leave. There will be no one chasing this up, no one will be phoning you about a surgery, you will have been discharged from system and all planned care stopped.

Please present to A&E, if you are feeling fluish and unwell the infection is affecting you systemically and at the moment because you are most likely young and fairly fit your body is compensating for that but you have a spreading infection so that will only happen for so long and you can become septic. You need your obs done, blood tests, and most likely IV fluid and antibiotics. You say you know what to look out for but I am a trained nurse and if I had a large spreading abscess on my groin and a temperature and feeling systemically unwell I would have marked the redness and be in A&E ASAP so I'm not sure what you are looking out for?

You have had a bad experience, I think there is a part failure in care but perhaps some of that might be your perspective, say if you arrived on the ward at 1830 the nurse would be running about like a headless chicken trying to get last minute jobs done for handover then handing over at 1900 then leaving at 1930 as the night shift nurse would now be responsible for your care. I can guarantee that there have been no nurses sitting about at desks in acute receiving wards that I have worked in we are all pushed to the absolute limit with multiple people calling in sick. However during handover we would be sitting together for half an hour handing over our patients. A bit of communication would have made your admission much easier, especially if you suffer from anxiety.

There is no guarantee when your surgery will be, there is not a single trust which will make you that promise if you are on an emergency list. The sickest will go first and you will be monitored and given antibiotics while you wait. I would have something to eat right now, you'll be nil by mouth on admission and will be fine by the time you see doctors/get consented etc. And even if you eare taken quicker which is unlikely there are steps they can take. The most important thing is that the anesthetist knows when you last ate.

This all just a massive drama. And now you’re trying to excuse the drama with anxiety.

This is just how the NHS works, you have to wait your turn. No-one can tell you what the plan is until the surgeon has seen you.

The sensible thing to do would simply have been to eat something not leave. The timetable for surgery would take that into account.

If you want the red carpet treatment then go private, but bear in mind private hospitals tend not to have critical care units if something goes wrong.

It sounds like your experience has really added to your hatred for hospitals I'm sorry about that but please don't let that cloud your judgement on this I know it seems like you went through a lot to get no where but you are no better of now then you were by leaving (though I understand your frustration) and in fact now even worse since it has spread. Go back again, let them know how anxious you feel about it all so they can reassure and support you. The longer you leave it the longer itl be before anything changes and you get sorted out.

Are you at the hospital now?

Also with the example of the doctor telling you that you were at risk of going into a coma from not eating for 24 hours, that's because you were pregnant at the time and had high ketones/HG. They probably wanted to keep you in on an IV drip to correct the ketones and keep you in until you'd started keeping food down again.

Not eating for 24 hours now isn't going to put you into a coma. But there's no need to fast for that long so eat something!

@Carrottopppp

I'm currently in the process of packing some stuff, and I'm following the antibiotic to a T as they are my only protection until I can get this thing removed, I just don't understand why I need to be admitted and why it needs to be under a general, I'm having my carpal tunnel cut under a local so why can't I be drained with a local, I have a huge fear of general anesthetic surgery. I had an abscess on the back of my throat when I was 14 it about closed my throat up yet I was just given antibiotics and sent in my way, it burst itself after a week and that was it

On the day of your surgery you will be seen by an anaesthetist. Discuss your concerns and available options with them.

As frustrating as it is, when you’re admitted you just need to wait it out until it’s ‘your turn’. The fact you lead a busy life and are on probation at work means nothing to them, and is completely irrelevant to the medical situation.
All that’s happened is you’ve put yourself right to the back of the queue and risked sepsis in the meantime.
I waited 48hrs without food for an operation, you have to just wait it out, albeit keep pestering the staff for updates.

I don’t think they can tell you when your op will be? Happy to be told otherwise but I’ve never been given a timeframe or anything for an op. You just go in to hospital and wait.

So you had a bed all that time and then just walked out?
My Dad has terminal cancer, his hospice nurse told me on Friday teatime she wanted me to take him to the emergency department. We were there for 6 hours and had to come back at 9 the next morning. We were there until 5 when they admitted him. He was in ED from 5pm on Saturday until 8pm last night when a bed became free he went to a ward.
If you wanted to know things just ask ffs. Nurses are incredibly busy, they do forget things and sometimes you have to keep asking.

The only person you're hurting is yourself. You are still in pain and it's unresolved. The hospital will use your bed for someone else and they won't be contacting you.
I can understand the frustration with it being an intimate issue, but I'm not sure what more you expected from the hospital.
This post is frustrating so I will be unfollowing, but I do hope you see sense and get treatment

@Carrottopppp

I don't understand how I've lost my place on the surgery list when I wasn't even on it until the doctor had done their rounds and even the nurses didn't know when that would be. The hospital wasn't even busy, I went to urgent care twice and I was the only one in there, I passed A&E 3 times and again nobody in there either, all 3 wards I attended again nurses, doctors etc all stood around with next to no patients. The only time that was wasted was my own, I did everything that was asked of me in regards to going to so many different wards to figure out who should be seeing to me, I didn't eat or drink just in case, I happily agreed to letting so many different people examine a very private area even though it turned out its not their problem. I did what I was supposed to do until it got to the point where this is my health on the line yet I had no control over it, I had no idea what was going on with MY BODY, I'm supposed to just sit there wait for somebody to eventually let me know what the hell is going on, my entire life can't just come to a halt because nobody knows what the the other is doing

Yab ridiculous!

I have every sympathy with you, OP. I recently discharged myself from hospital in the midst of about my 12th panic attack since admission; after having my wishes for privacy repeatedly ignored; after days of 'they can't do the scan today, we'll try again tomorrow' having spent all day nil by mouth; after being treated as a number rather than a person who was clearly becoming more & more distressed; after not knowing why I was sat in a hospital bed day after day, being treated like a kid who doesn't know how to take her own medications. Yes, I should have stayed, but repeated panic attacks mess with your head.

And I had no kids or work to think about like you do, OP. I can absolutely understand why you left. I came away from hospital feeling like a piece of s&/t and still don't feel I've recovered emotionally. I'm now being treated on an outpatient basis. I had the scan 10 days after discharging myself, despite the nurse saying I'd wait months. I don't really care if it takes longer than it might have.

There is no excuse for staff not treating every patient as an individual and with dignity.

I hope you can get to the right department quickly from A & E. Feel better very soon.

I hope you are ok, OP. It sounds like a shitty way to be treated, passed from pillar to post and not getting the answers you need.
You will be anxious. Sod those who are saying you are using anxiety as an excuse. Most of us would be extremely stressed in your situation.
The trouble is, if you are ill and feeling vulnerable, being messed about and not given answers doesn't inspire trust in the people who have your health in their hands. The NHS. is fucking shit at the moment, it's understaffed and a lot of the staff have forgotten that they are in a caring profession. Some of the attitudes shown towards patients when they dare to question their treatment is appalling. Unavailable staff, huffing and eye rolling. I'm not saying all of them. My best friend is still recovering from psychosis induced by the way she was treated when she had an appendectomy last November. I miss the person she was.
Any more trouble, contact PALS or the Care Quality Commission.

Remember, it's not a charity; we pay for it!

@HotSauceCommittee

Remember, it's not a charity; we pay for it!

Actually you don't. Most people don't anyway, in that they take out far far more than they put into the pot.