WIBU discharging myself from hospital

[Carrottopppp]

Sorry if this is long but it's important I tell you every detail to give the full story. Saturday evening I woke from a nap to find myself really sore and swollen in my groin and part of my pubis, overnight it swelled considerably went really red and painful to walk, sit, stand etc, I called OOH gp Sunday morning who got me an urgent appointment at our urgent treatment centre within A&E. App was at 9.30am with an absolutely lovely doctor who left no stone unturned and said I had developed an abscess and it needed draining urgently due to the risk of sepsis and the fact it had literally appeared out of nowhere and had grown 4x4 inches literally overnight. He got me an appointment with emergency surgical ambulatory care for 2.15pm yesterday, I attended the nurse took one look and said "no surgeon on this ward will touch that as it is on your pubis not your groin" she sent me back to urgent care and the doctor I saw that morning took me back to his room had another look then said its definitely a groin abscess but we'll let gynae have a look anyway, he sent me up to the gynae ward, 3 different doctors took a look but it was the most senior surgeon on the ward who said it actually is groin, not his area of expertise and also due to the amount of blood vessels in the area he couldn't touch it, so I waited and he came back and said I had to go back to emergency surgical ambulatory care as its them who deal with these things. So off I went an as soon as I walked in I was met by the same nurse who told me she had spoken to a surgeon up on surgical assessment ward and that they were waiting for me and expecting me and I may be treated as a golden patient I. E doctor has a look at it then books me a time to go back the next day and have it removed so off I went up to the ward.

Now this is where I started losing my rag mentally, met by a nurse on the ward who asks another lady to show me to my bed and she said "ill be with you in a minute" yeah you guessed it, never saw her again. I was shown my bed obs done and that's it never saw anybody again, nobody knew when the doctor was coming to speak to me, nobody could tell me whether or not I could eat or drink by this point I hadn't eaten in 26 hours, Its on my notes that I'm on antibiotics yet nobody asked if I was due any (I was but mine were at home as nobody told me when all this started that I would become an inpatient), I waited hours, I had absolutely no overnight stuff with me, I got frustrated and I went to the nurses station to let them know I'm discharging myself and have someone call me to arrange to go back in when it's convenient. The nurse couldn't even find the doctors number to call and ask permission to sign off the discharge, and with that I left.

So to clarify I'd been in and out of hospital for 12 hours, I was no further forward than knowing I had an abscess, i had 4 doctors, 2 nurses and a receptionist all having a gander at my genitals, I was passed from place to place, I walked in agony the entire length of our hospital 1/2 mile 3 times, nobody could tell me what the hell was happening and all the prodding and poking aggravated the abscess to the point it doubled in size and started spreading down my leg. WIBU, maybe I was but I was frustrated, tired and I hadn't eaten in 28 hours. I'm planning on attending A&E this morning and hopefully try and get somewhere, I'm due back in work tomorrow and need it removing as my job requires me to be on my feet for 8 hours a day and don't want to be walking around in pain.

My son had a twisted bowl (18 months old), we were blue lighted to the nearest hospital, they said they couldn't do the surgery required and it was urgent. He was put on IVs and we then got blue lighted again to a hospital a hour away. We stayed 3 days before they got him down for surgery, missed meals, a hungry toddler still in the same clothing we arrived in. We finally left day 5.

It's not ideal but it happens, they said they had life or death surgeries that bumped us down whenever someone had a more urgent case came in. It is frustrating but it's just one of those things isn't it?

Hopefully you get seen today. The NHS is great for critical care but unless your dyeing from a sudden onset crisis, not so great.

I would amazed if you dont get a open packed wound from surgery. The longer they go untreated, the further they track inwards and the deeper the packing.

Good luck with going back to work tomorrow but you might want to mentally prepare that this might not just be a small cut and drain procedure.

@MissTrip82

It’s always up to you to leave if you wish. It’s not a prison.

In ICU I’ve only encountered a few people with septic shock from an abscess and most of them didn’t die. You know best.

Quite unusual to have a large abscess requiring incision and drainage and no IV antibiotics. Also quite unusual for the receptionist to have examined you.

Also hahahahhaha at the absolute moron who thinks drs are ‘waltzing’ around…..that sort of stupid comment is downright embarrassing. I invite to join me for a shift so you can enjoy all the waltzing.

I had a large abscess that had i&d under GA. no IV antibiotics I've never had IV antibiotics for any of my abscesses and I have hidradenitis supprativa

Im not sure that any of us are helping now, OP is not listening. Hopefully your DH will make you see sense.

OP, you do realise that you aren't currently on any list for surgery? You have self discharged. They will not be chasing you, you are no longer their patient.

This problem isn't going to go away on its own. What are you going to do?

@Clydesider

I have every sympathy with you, OP. I recently discharged myself from hospital in the midst of about my 12th panic attack since admission; after having my wishes for privacy repeatedly ignored; after days of 'they can't do the scan today, we'll try again tomorrow' having spent all day nil by mouth; after being treated as a number rather than a person who was clearly becoming more & more distressed; after not knowing why I was sat in a hospital bed day after day, being treated like a kid who doesn't know how to take her own medications. Yes, I should have stayed, but repeated panic attacks mess with your head.

And I had no kids or work to think about like you do, OP. I can absolutely understand why you left. I came away from hospital feeling like a piece of s&/t and still don't feel I've recovered emotionally. I'm now being treated on an outpatient basis. I had the scan 10 days after discharging myself, despite the nurse saying I'd wait months. I don't really care if it takes longer than it might have.

There is no excuse for staff not treating every patient as an individual and with dignity.

I hope you can get to the right department quickly from A & E. Feel better very soon.

I couldn’t agree more. My husband is currently in hospital with a very serious infection. Second time in a few weeks and went in after discussion between GP and surgical team. The first whole night spent on the assessment unit, in a chair, freezing cold and no blankets or attention. Admitted and has been repeatedly starved, but no one can answer what for, what procedure and when. Now moved due to bed availability to a unit which is planned surgical admissions and has a strict no visiting policy and he can’t leave the ward. He isn’t planned for surgery and the restrictions on him are therefore unjustified. His experience this time and last is of sloppy care, inexcusably poor communication and inhuman undignified treatment. It’s disgusting. And it isn’t free, we aren’t lucky, it’s shit.

You know best

OP does not, in any sense, know best.

OP I entirely get that you're frustrated, and I'm not sure the pile on here is helping.

But if you're still reading: I know two people who tragically died from sepsis following skin infections. Two fit and healthy people, one 23, one 60. In the first case, they were on holiday, had a minor accident, a cut looked infected, went to a local doctor and were prescribed antibiotics. They didn't seem to work, and they didn't really feel comfortable engaging with another healthcare system so left it a few days. As soon as they went back, the doctor went pale, and started to arrange transport from the local tourist area they were in to the capital where there were main hospitals. At this stage, she had walked (well limped) in herself, no obvious signs of anything wrong except a nasty looking infection. By the time of the transfer (which was within 12 hours) she slipped into a coma and never regained consciousness.

The second case, went to a&E, NHS hospital. Was sent home (Friday) told to see GP on Monday. By Monday morning, things had got worse, so instead went back to a&e. No sepsis signs, but a&e docs sent up to ward, ward doctor had a look at 2, did some tests and started observations, by 4 they were moved to critical care. By 6 their wife was told to call their adult children. They passed away that evening.Again, walked in, was talking and joking at lunchtime.

I think I'm 'unlucky' to know two people who died in this way, but its had a massive effect on me. I carry savlon on holidays, I follow up on fairly minor skin infections, I'm just really aware of how quickly sepsis can take hold. In neither cases were the sepsis danger signs incredibly clear. In both cases, if they had been observed in hospital it would have quickly been clear something was very wrong, as happened in the second case but too late.

And yes, in the second case the surviving family were told they probably had a case against the hospital for sending him home on Friday but they couldn't face any kind of litigation. It doesn't actually do anything. You have a young family. You simply can't self-assess in the timeframe you would need to when it comes to something like sepsis. I totally agree that its not right people are left for hours, and I totally agree people with phobias around hospital care are treated badly (my mother is one, and it has led to her receiving substandard care).

But - terrible outcomes do happen. I've seen the fallout. And I think you need to prioritise being seen, and take notes about your treatment so you can make a complaint afterwards. Because at this point, for your children, if anything bad happened and they tried to understand why as an adult, all they'll see if that you left against medical advise. You need to go back and be seen.

I think you should have stayed whilst you had a bed ( if you did have a bed? ). It was a bit like this when my son had a pilonidal sinus abscess, he was in absolute agony and just left for hours no pain relief etc but they did have an emergency/ cardiac arrest going on so I understood the situation on the surgical assessment ward.
I think you need to be realistic that you are going to need time off work to recover from something like this. If the abscess is large as you say then it could need draining then packing for days / weeks on end and you may need IV antibiotics for a few days. You are not going to be able to be on your feet for eight hours a day anytime soon. I hope you feel better soon and get sorted.

Welcome to the disorganized shit-show that is the NHS. Individual doctors and nurses are mostly great, but the management and coordination are absolutely pants.

That ‘disorganised shitshow’ is the safety net under all of us. It might not be perfect, but it’s what we have, and unfortunately it’s not until we come to actually need it, that we realise how cuts and chaotic reorganisations from successive governments have had a cumulative effect - not only on the way it operates, but on the morale of the medics trying to do their best in an underfunded and understaffed system.

The pandemic threw the shortcomings into sharp relief and money was pumped in. It remains to be seen whether this will still be the case when the worst of the pandemic is behind us and the government is looking to recoup some of the debt. The NHS is an easy target, so I think the moral of the story is be careful how you vote.

And it isn’t free, we aren’t lucky, it’s shit..

Given the constraints the staff are working within, what’s your solution then ?

there is no worse feeling than losing all my control, my own decision making and being left wondering all day "maybe they'll come see me in the next hour" and you realise as every hour passes nobody is coming to see you, then I have to take matters in to my own hands.

I’m pretty sure dying of sepsis feels worse.

Hopefully OP has gone back to hospital rather than twatting around arguing the toss with randoms on MN. Baffling thread.

@AngeloMysterioso

there is no worse feeling than losing all my control, my own decision making and being left wondering all day "maybe they'll come see me in the next hour" and you realise as every hour passes nobody is coming to see you, then I have to take matters in to my own hands.

I’m pretty sure dying of sepsis feels worse.

Yup.

@Carrottopppp

It was night time by the time I found out I was being admitted, it's not fair on my children being dragged out at night time with my partner to drop stuff off at hospital for me, all turning up at hospital would have done is panicked my children wondering why mummy is in hospital and whether or not I'm coming home

STOP. You are being ridiculous. You have an abscess that requires an operation and draining at the least, and could possible lead to an infection that leaves you very sick. They admitted you to hospital for a reason You children CAN cope without you. They can go in the car with your partner without you sharing so much as to freak them out- talk to them calmly and they’ll be calm . You are sounding like a martyr and quite frankly stupid. Your partner needs to step up and take over from you. You need to call work and explain - you are NOT indispensable, no one is at work and don’t kid yourself of that. They will likely perform under general and that needs 48 hours at home before you are fit to work and make any sensible decision let alone be on your feet 8 hours. . Then they are like to have to pack the open hole with gauze that needs changing every day. District nurse will do that, or possible show your husband how to do it if you can’t reach. You think you are going to sit on it or walk around with that packing for 8 hours- you are being ridiculous again . It can take over a week for the granular tissue to start to grow back. You behaved ignorantly in thinking that you were going to rock up as an emergency and have an operation within a few hours. As other posters said this is not how it works. You wait. You get bored. You get pissed off sitting around doing nothing and seeing no one. That is all normal. You are not more important or busier than anyone else. Their are people dying or seriously sick that need to go before you to theatre. It only takes a few minutes to treat an abscess so they want you there to fit you in, as and when they have a short slot. You’ve just taken yourself out of that system. They also can’t operate if you have eaten or drunk - so well done in rocking up at hospital expecting an operation when you have just eaten and drunk- it’ll get you no where, you’ll have to wait until it is safe, then they’ll put you back on the list, and they’ll you’ll have to wait again on the ward being ignored until they can slot you in.

So STOP. Slow down. Be patient (there’s a clue in the word). Delegate. Put your brain in gear to get things organsaised at home and work so they can manage without you- they would have to if you got sepsis anyway so stop thinking you have to do it all.

@Hairyfairy01

OP, you do realise that you aren't currently on any list for surgery? You have self discharged. They will not be chasing you, you are no longer their patient.

This problem isn't going to go away on its own. What are you going to do?

This. I hope the disappearance of the OP means she has decided to do something about it.

I actually agree with a PP - I don’t think we’re helping at all, because the OP seems to be more interested in posting, slagging off the NHS, than getting help. OP hasn’t posted for a while so let’s hope she’s at least on her way to the hospital.

One final attempt. OP, my partner had an abscess in his cheek earlier this year. As with yourself, it came up overnight and rapidly got worse. His GP made an urgent referral to the hospital and prescribed antibiotics in the meantime. The next day we got a phone call to go to the hospital. We had an appointment to see the specialist, but we were still there most of the day because of blood tests, scans etc. He was admitted the same day and spent two days on the ward with IV antibiotics before the decision was taken to excise the abscess. After surgery the wound had to be packed and he was on IV antibiotics post surgery for two days. Finally discharged at the end of the week, into the care of the district nurses who were coming in every day to pack the wound and change dressings - oral antibiotics continued for two weeks and the wound packing continued until the deep hole had started to scab over and heal. There is absolutely no quick fix for this, however much you want it to be the case. If you haven’t already, please get back to the hospital and get this sorted out. It will not go away by itself, you need to stop looking for faults and let them help you.

@Rosscameasdoody

And it isn’t free, we aren’t lucky, it’s shit..

Given the constraints the staff are working within, what’s your solution then ?

We've lost 50% of our staff during covid with nobody to replace them. We don't have time to go to the toilet during the working day. Every trust is the same, new staff cannot be found, it's a national crisis that is not on the news. The remaining staff often go off sick from sheer exhaustion, there is nobody to recruit, nobody wants to work for the NHS post covid. We're not crap or a disgrace, there are no staff.

Your reasoning is illogical. Even you got up at 7am you should've eaten, and then at 8am had your antibiotics. There's also no reason you are only having a drink every six hours, on any kind of medication you can drink water. It's like you're deliberately trying to make yourself worse

For anyone who reads this in the future.

2hrs for clear fluid before surgery - water/ squash/ black tea/ coffee.

Fizzy juice is not counted as a clear fluid...

I was on call on Saturday (I'm an anaesthetist) we did an urgent case - it was long (4-5hrs). During that time the surgical consultant and surgical registrar were both operating. There were numerous phone calls to the registrar which were written on a list for him to deal with once he was out of theatre.
Each of those calls related to a patient. Who I'm sure felt they were sitting forgotten about on the ward. They weren't.
The nursing staff on those wards had probably told all prospective patients to fast as they might get their surgery - they don't know.

While this was all going on I was already planning the next cases that we were going to do based on the information that was available to me - one was cancelled after the registrar reviewed them as they didn't need surgery, so the patient I'd identified as third was then going to get done next... until a patient with a surgical condition that needs immediate treatment pitched up in ED.

We had to postpone the case prior to that in the anaesthetic room as we only had one theatre team at the weekend. I can only imagine how crushing it felt for that patient to be cancelled when they had actually got to the anaesthetic room. I did say they could have a drink as it would be more than 2 hrs until we were able to revisit their surgery but I"m pretty sure that wasn't great compensation.

The only urgent surgery we do on a booked day case basis is plastics - as the patients are unlikely to deterioriate at home so don't need close observation (or the benign neglect) of being in a hospital. bed.

The system is broken at the moment - we are routinely running shifts with -1 or -2 nurses on wards due to staff vacancies / covid isolation /other sick leave. A lot of staff have got PTSD after their experiences during the pandemic.

This is the result of systematic underfunding and a government that has allowed medical/ nursing pay to fall significantly in real terms during the last decade.

I went through my medical year book recently and realised that about 40% of my year work abroad primarily in Canada, Australia and NZ.

And then you have articles like the one in the Times on Friday from the director of a right wing thinktank saying that paying doctors well hasn't worked for recruitment / retention so they just have to pay us less. I was a bit confused by this as I thought the Tories worshipped market forces. Market forces are telling them they need to improve T&Cs. But no. Apparently they need to drop them to recruit more staff.

I'm confused. And worn out. And looking to retire early.

@Rosscameasdoody

And it isn’t free, we aren’t lucky, it’s shit..

Given the constraints the staff are working within, what’s your solution then ?

Hopefully not the American version, where the doctors will quite happily diagnose a broken ankle, bandage it up like you would a mild sprain then discharge them saying "don't walk on it for 6 weeks or you'll probably end up permanently disabled" because they couldn't afford health insurance, as happened to someone I know.

I'm going to make this my last post as its clearly just turned in to a slanging match, I'll clear a few things up before I leave though.

*yes I was given a bed but I never asked for it and I didn't want it, nobody told me I would have to be admitted, I had no idea the extent of treatment needed for a simple abscess.
*I feel very privileged that we have a service such as the NHS what I don't agree with is my medical problem being shouted from the rooftops, lack of communication and being paraded around in front of all kinds of doctors, nurses etc until they found where it was I needed to be.
*im not a martyr I just dislike hospitals and try to avoid them at all costs, yes that may not be the best under the current circumstances but I wasn't expecting to have an abscess appear out of nowhere
*I'm human of course I'm going to worry about my kids, partner, job etc that's my life and when I don't know whats happening then how can I relay info to work, family etc
*nobody likes having things such as an admittance to hospital sprang on them at the last minute, why admit someone to a ward when actually you have no idea what's happening with them.
And yes I am currently at hospital and no I'm not expecting to be fast tracked etc, I'll wait in line with everybody else. This is my doing yes and I will deal with the repercussions of my actions.

Good luck - glad you are back in there.

I think it will help with your anxiety levels if you can consider that being on a ward doesn't mean they have a firm plan for you, with schedules. The plan is to keep you somewhere safe and fit you in to the operating theatre when they can. If your case becomes more urgent, or if someone else's is more urgent than yours, they shuffle to accommodate this. They don't know who will walk through the door next. The people you see on the ward mostly won't have the information on who else might need what procedures somewhere else in the hospital. So none of that is the system failing or going wrong. Don't let it become an additional worry.

Please ask for a porter to bring you from place to place since walking is so painful, ask nurses for a private conversation if you are worried about others overhearing, ask for any meds and fluid you need, and let them know you are feeling anxious. Best of luck.

It’s better you go privately, it’s the way it is. Or wait nhs
Living is better than dead.
Take heed