Guest Behaviour

[PlasticDinosaur]

Our guests have just left. They're lovely and we enjoy hosting them every year. Multiple families who are helpful with the kids and get involved with cooking and cleaning. We don't ask for any money and provide everything down to nappies and toiletries. But two of them are funny about food and freeload horribly.

We've spent £500 on tickets for a day out, BBQ food, a takeaway, food shop for the weekend, wine and beer. No problem we saved for it, it's our holiday for the year.

They turned up with four beers, very kind -thank you. I put them in the fridge and it was a free for all during the weekend but they didn't get used. So they've taken them home with them. Not a word said, just taken.

At Christmas we made all the food and hosted and asked them to bring cheese. They did and took all the leftovers and their cheese home.

On both occasions they've also taken a bag for life to the fridge and helped themselves because 'youve got way too much in here! Don't want it to go to waste!'

Yesterday I tried to make the meal I'd planned and found they'd used the ingredients to make tupperwares of meals 'so it doesn't go to waste!'. The ingredients were fresh that morning, had a planned purpose and would have been fine for a week.

I find it so so frustrating and rude. My DH says I'm being ridiculous. AIBU?

What do you say to them as they’re emptying the fridge?

Wow. They wouldn't be invited back if it were me!

I feel like these guests are close family and we don't have the full picture here....

I wouldn’t say ridiculous but pushover comes to mind. I’ve honestly never heard of anything like this. It’s nice to be generous but…….

They are absolutely taking the piss!

You'd be ridiculous if you're going to tell us you haven't spoken to them about it, yes.

Otherwise YANBU.

Did you get the tupperwared stuff back and do the meal?

If you did then YANBU as you showed backbone and asked, letting them know they were being cheeky!

If you didnt, then YABU as you wimped out and what do you expect when you let people walk over you?

I'd hate anyone messing about in my fridge, for a start. I think you might want to consider being a bit less lavish with the food, so there's nothing left over for them to pinch.

They’ve cleared you out to the extent that key ingredients for your dinner are gone? They presumably can eat as they have the contents of the fridge? Very cheeky and strange behaviour from them.

Emptying the fridge?? Wtaf?? How did you bite your tongue?! They are freeloading pisstakers & clearly not your friends. *Mindblown

Are they doing okay financially? I'd absolutely hate it, but maybe they are really struggling

What's the rest of the story?

Why the fuck do you keep inviting these rude ppl back? Who helps themselves to the contents of someone else’s fridge?

Are you going to have them back another time? Could you ask them to contribute in advance for you to get the supplies in ready for their visit?

No you don't start emptying a hosts fridge of ingredients they've bought, informing them "you don't need all this, it'll go to waste" that's the most bizarre behaviour ever!

If it's 300 left over profiteroles/obvious perishables, that will have gone ick in 24hrs, then that's one thing, but of course, you still ask first. Raw ingredients that haven't yet been used, and just bagging them up, telling you that you don't need them, that's unbelievably poor manners.

What I don't understand is why you didn't point this out? You didn't have to be rude, just a simple "ooh, hang on, that's for tonight's tea!" And laugh, but with a look that says, seriously, leave that there please.

Are they your in-laws?

I just wouldn’t let someone use my fridge as a shopping expedition.

As for the meanness re the beers & cheese and the lack of contribution to the overall time together, I’d:

1. Not mind because I like them enough, know they don’t have a lot of money or know they will reciprocate.

1. Stop inviting them if the annoyance outweighed my enjoyment of their company.

Um, no-one goes into my fridge and helps themselves. Unless it's immediate family for an immediate meal.

Why do you provide nappies when they’re there? I can’t imagine anyone who would turn up without nappies for their child and assume that the host will provide them. And why are you paying for days out for all of you? This is very weird dynamics.

Yes they are ridiculous. Perhaps you could visit them next time?

How rude of them. Anything they contribute in future put somewhere else so they can't reclaim it. But why on earth did you not ask for the food they packed up back?

Got to be parents or Pil?

No-one else could be that cheeky.

My Fil took to lurking around my kitchen, was told to fuck off out of there. No-one would be invading my fridge...

I'm a bit tight & maybe a tad weird about food & don't do waste but seriously?

You stood by and watched them emptying your fridge? That’s your own fault then.

Stepchildren?

This has to be a joke...

Of course they’re being rude. Unless there’s one hell of a backstory (I can sort of see my elderly great aunt doing this but she lived through the war with little food and now has dementia and often thinks she needs to scavenge for food again) then there’s just no excuse to help yourself to things in other people’s houses unless it’s been offered. And “make yourself a cup of tea/coffee anytime, milk is in the fridge” clearly does not mean “box up the contents of my fridge to take home”.

On the other hand, why are you buying nappies/toiletries for guests? Do these people ever reciprocate?!

Just re-read the OP. The “guests” help with cleaning, cooking and childcare? I’d be tempted to help myself too if I have been your unpaid cook, cleaner and nanny for a week.