Guest Behaviour

[PlasticDinosaur]

Our guests have just left. They're lovely and we enjoy hosting them every year. Multiple families who are helpful with the kids and get involved with cooking and cleaning. We don't ask for any money and provide everything down to nappies and toiletries. But two of them are funny about food and freeload horribly.

We've spent £500 on tickets for a day out, BBQ food, a takeaway, food shop for the weekend, wine and beer. No problem we saved for it, it's our holiday for the year.

They turned up with four beers, very kind -thank you. I put them in the fridge and it was a free for all during the weekend but they didn't get used. So they've taken them home with them. Not a word said, just taken.

At Christmas we made all the food and hosted and asked them to bring cheese. They did and took all the leftovers and their cheese home.

On both occasions they've also taken a bag for life to the fridge and helped themselves because 'youve got way too much in here! Don't want it to go to waste!'

Yesterday I tried to make the meal I'd planned and found they'd used the ingredients to make tupperwares of meals 'so it doesn't go to waste!'. The ingredients were fresh that morning, had a planned purpose and would have been fine for a week.

I find it so so frustrating and rude. My DH says I'm being ridiculous. AIBU?

I think I might know them! We had people over this weekend and one couple couldn't come because they were invited elsewhere. I now think they might have been at yours making scones. Thanks for taking them off our hands. They really are stingy so and sos.

I can't believe people tolerate this.
Don't have them stay again.
If they ask say no, we are busy.

@PrincessNutella

I think it's okay to say directly, "Last time I couldn't make a meal because you took ingredients in Tupperware containers. Honestly, it makes me really uncomfortable when you do that. We love having you, but please don't come here with Tupperware for the leftovers. Just don't.

Exactly that, my own adult dc's would always ask when visiting so these people are unbelievable

We love having you, but please don't come here with Tupperware for the leftovers. Just don't.

I'd never actually thought about it that way: they actually plan ahead by ensuring they bring their own selection of Tupperware for food stealing purposes. In their car that doesn't have enough room for nappies for their own child....

Were some of the guests your own DCs who are used to emptying out the fridge from when they were younger, and to you providing all meals as their DPs?

But cheeky as F in my view. Especially to take items newly bought, and to assume that you had no use for items left in your fridge - do they think you are onto poorhouse rations once they have left?

Just write "Doormat" on your forehead , lie down by the door and stop whining when they walk all over you.

I think their behaviour is absolutely indefensible and, no matter how enjoyable there company may be, I would not be inviting them again.

You really should not be providing nappies and toiletries for guests. It's nice to be generous but that sort of generosity leads some people to take advantage. It doesn't matter how hard up a person is, that is no excuse at all for greedy and rude behaviour.

[quote PlasticDinosaur]@Datsandcogs yeah come on over. Apparently I'm a mug but at least I'm nice.[/quote]
On my way!

Don’t berate yourself for being nice! But do try and adjust your hosting for future visits as they are clearly the ultimate CFers!

Or will they be welcome in future?

Don’t want to victim blame, but honestly, OP, stop providing for them like they’re helpless! Why on earth would you just give them nappies/toiletries? I’d give them the heads up next time pre-visit ‘Please bring your own nappies/toiletries this time.’ Ask them not to go in the fridge again, that’s incredibly ill-mannered of them to raid it before going. They should be bringing meal ingredients, not taking them away. Finally, absolutely make sure you drink the beer they bring! Cheeky fuckers!

I've no idea how they could possibly think/maintain that stealing food from the fridge is fair game. What if they took a fancy to your clothes, expensive ornaments or laptop and just piled them into their bag?

In fact, they're missing a trick if they don't also bring a sturdy pipe and jerry cans with them (in the car that's too small to fit their child's nappies in) and syphon all of the petrol out of your car, just before they leave.