Kids not allowed to do... anything

[Wtfisgoingon2021]

Name changed as know I will probably get flamed for this.

But I just feel like no one allows their children to do anything anymore.
They will have zero resilience.

All of my children's friends sit in their rooms on Xbox's cause the parents don't want them to be out playing.
They all get driven to the local school, which is a 10 min walk and their is not even any parent parking.
My eldest is 13 and if she wants friends round it's to be 100 messages with the parents as if I'm arranging a play date for a 3 year old.
We live a short walk from the cinema with one road to cross again my 13yo allowed to go with friends and her 3 friends not allowed must be driven in someone's car.

They are only a few years off leaving school and they can't even place an order at McDonald's themselves. (I worked their moons ago and there was nothing more frustrating than young teens who had no idea how to speak for themselves or use money!!)
It seem they are being done a great misjustice and I'm constantly being made to feel a shit mum for trying to empower and grow confidence in my child.
Honesty does anyone relate to me ??

Funnily enough I took my dog for a waddle in a big local park today. I had not been there before but she is ageing and our usual wood type walks on footpaths and bridleways are started to get too much. I bumped into two really lovely young lads. I reckon they were about 10-11? We were chatting about the dogs and they were telling me about theirs. I must admit I did asked where they lived and if their parents were ok with them being there alone. It was a very casual ask though. I am in my 50's and remember being able to cycle about 5-6 miles to get somewhere when I was about 12 on roads etc, but in this day and age it does seem that children are far far more protected than they used to be.

Sounds like it's very mixed. Certainly not the case here all the kids on the street play out ( youngest 3, oldest 11). My 7 yo does if I am within ear shot, my 10 yo plays out every day, for most of the day in the holidays ( and after school in term time) and has done since she was 8. I don't do sleepovers though other than with very close friends.

On the other hand, I would say there's a real competiveness among some parents who have internalised the "self-reliance is a virtue" thing and who love to tell people how very independent their children are. Oh, I have nothing to do with their social lives! I've been letting them travel on public transport alone since they were 3! They've been chopping their own wood with their own axe since reception! My kid can kill and roast an ox! I find that more pathetic, to be honest, than people who are a little over-protective. Also, might be nice to try a little humility and realise not all kids are the same (although mine have obviously been going to festivals alone since Y3).

What do you mean famous people aren't getting it? Have you heard of Boris Johnson or Prince Charles or Prince William?
Sure they didn't die from it but nor did my husband or uncle or next door neighbour. Lots of people do recover and not because they have access to some miracle cure.

@Dguu6u

can’t even place an order at McDonalds themselves

What a benchmark!

I only ever go in them for the toilets. To be fair, the ordering system does now looks quite complicated, somewhere between Argos, the dole office and a bingo hall.

@MurielSpriggs

Be safe to be infected once there is a cure, just over a hundred years ago that Spanish Flu wiped out 100 million people (5% global population)

Hi there @AustralianDad7, are you still hiding under the table from Spanish flu? I do believe we're waiting for a cure for that one too.

The cure for COVID will be released on 20th October, 2021

The cure for COVID will be released on 20th October, 2021

Thanks @AustralianDad7, do we have a date for the cure for Spanish flu?

@Rosebel

What do you mean famous people aren't getting it? Have you heard of Boris Johnson or Prince Charles or Prince William? Sure they didn't die from it but nor did my husband or uncle or next door neighbour. Lots of people do recover and not because they have access to some miracle cure.

so out of 4.4 million deaths due to COVID you still cannot name one.

@LadyCatStark I got massively into making cocktails at, ahem, age 8. I won my folks a few games of snooker and can still pour the perfect 8 (four shots from the right, four from the left). I think my parents did wander quite far from parenting as understood here!

@AustralianDad7

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thewrap.com/celebrities-deaths-coronavirus-star-hollywood-notable-stars/amp/

Fuck me what happened to this thread while I was typing?

None of my daughter’s friends are prevented from doing any of those things, and none of them sit in their rooms playing video games all time.

Sounds very much like the usual whine about how “all the kids of today (apart from mine) are terrible”

The reality is, kids of today are no different from kids twenty, forty or even a hundred years ago. The older generations have always picked on them unfairly.

hence the rise of the man child

These have also been around for a very long time. Nothing new about those.

They are all on the larger side parents and children. A short 10 minute brisk walk to school and back twice a day 5 days a week would make a huge difference physically and mentally !

Ahh, of course. They are also overweight, these terrible parents and lazy children.

@LG93

I'm not surprised, my DH has just taken on a 17 year old at work, they were out running work errands and popped into Sainsbury's to grab lunch on the go, he had to talk him through choosing/picking up what he wanted and using a self checkout as he's never bought anything in a shop before

Fucking hell, that's extreme. Most teenagers are at least able to buy crap in small shops. 🤣🤣

[quote Neverrains]@AustralianDad7

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thewrap.com/celebrities-deaths-coronavirus-star-hollywood-notable-stars/amp/[/quote]
It's gone quiet. I'm guessing the conspiracy theory is being adapted in the light of fresh evidence

@hatebeak

On the other hand, I would say there's a real competiveness among some parents who have internalised the "self-reliance is a virtue" thing and who love to tell people how very independent their children are. Oh, I have nothing to do with their social lives! I've been letting them travel on public transport alone since they were 3! They've been chopping their own wood with their own axe since reception! My kid can kill and roast an ox! I find that more pathetic, to be honest, than people who are a little over-protective. Also, might be nice to try a little humility and realise not all kids are the same (although mine have obviously been going to festivals alone since Y3).

Love this post.😆 Well said.

I’m not surprised, my DH has just taken on a 17 year old at work, they were out running work errands and popped into Sainsbury's to grab lunch on the go, he had to talk him through choosing/picking up what he wanted and using a self checkout as he's never bought anything in a shop before

This doesn’t sound right. Even if he’s never been to Sainsbury’s, presumably he’d been in a school canteen at least once in his life. It certainly isn’t indicative of how the vast majority of 17 year old’s are.

Not my experience at all. Maybe a class thing? Most of the middle class kids round here go to private schools and live miles apart. All the working class kids go the nearest school and play out/have independence from a young age.
I was delighted when ds got to 7/8 and I could start sending him to the local shop for the milk I inevitably forget at the big shop!

I know kids who are brought up like this but mine are not. It is a bloody nuisance when 15 year olds aren't allowed to take public transport or taxis during the day

I've never had the experience of having to organise going out and walking is the norm here although my kids know parents who think I'm cruel for making them walk in rain 😂

As if in queue I can see some 10-14 year olds playing on our cul de sac. (I know their ages because they are neighbours)

Most of the middle class kids round here go to private schools and live miles apart

Not my experience. I live in a pretty middle class area, kids go to the local state schools and all play out.

@DDIJ

I think this depends on where you live. Mine probably had too much freedom by MN standards but nobody has playdates round here. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on getting to know parents too that just doesn't happen here either. My worries are tombstoning and RTAs.

do you mean the children are too old for playdates or do they just not meet up at all?

OP YANBU
My children are still quite young but I would hope that from age 10/11 or so they would have a certain amount of independence. Helps that friends live within easy walking distance and we are in the suburbs of a major city so getting the bus to town/cinema etc by themselves, as well as just walking to more local things, could be an option for them. I grew up rurally and had to rely on my parents for lifts quite a lot. They were really good about it, but I really don't want to be a permanent taxi service for longer than I need to be.

@BoredZelda I didn't say the parents were terrible.
I am saying my experience and in response to @Rabblemum I agreed that actually the parent of the children in my street are actually on the slightly larger side.
I don't want to use a single child as an example but I have taken these children round to the local park (cause they have to be with me the adult) and one of them sits on a swing on her phone and complains her back hurts from walking.
You have really picked at something small and blown it up.

Surely this is one of the best things about the growing up, that they can arrange who to see without your input. Has certainly made this summer easier. Mind you I was mortified when DD said the server in Pret had let her off paying as she couldn't work out the money. Sorted that out straightaway. She said her friend had a debit card, but I'd rather she learned with cash first and how to budget.