Partner 'shit at explaining things'

[COLLIESHANGLES]

Her words not mine, this is what she said when I asked her why she is like this.

I adore her, I really do!

And I already suspect I am being unreasonable but wanted opinions.

I like to talk, I will talk about anything for hours. I like to talk quite deeply about everything, she does sometimes but not often. She'll engage more when she's had a few wines!

We're long distance too which makes this more prevalent I feel, and she's quite a closed book in many ways. But if she says she wants to go somewhere and I ask why 'I just do'.

If she tells me she likes me in a certain dress and I ask why 'I just do'.

If she is sentimental and I ask her what's made her feel that way 'Just 'cause'.

This is in speech or in text.

We have a stereotypically beautiful mutual friend. Partner told me she feels I am nicer looking than her. I asked why (genuinely intrigued as to what she may say about that) 'you just are'.

'Why do you like doing XYZ?' 'What makes you prefer here to there'
'I just do'.

I want to know more about her and why she has the views she has because I want to get to know her better. It drives me nuts.

Would it you?

To be honest, if I said I like a dress, the answer would be because it looks nice. I would t feel an urge to start describing all the ways it flatters me, makes me confident, compliments my colouring, etc- because I'd find that weird. Having to constantly engage in long winded descriptions of why I like something would be tiring and uninteresting to me.

That would bore me. Having questions answered with "just because" or "it just is" with no real follow-up is a conversation killer.

you sound exhausting.
I have a friend like this - even the most casual of comments is met with a deep dive of "why" - deep conversation, or comparable to an exchange with a demented two year old?
Sometimes I avoid her.

I m getting more of divide here now, as if some people resonate and some think I am a weirdo :)

I think this is something that will grind increasingly as time goes on for you.

It comes down to compatibility and she is not as emotionally available as you would like. The fact that she only expresses herself in what you consider an open and deep way is a big issue. You may find that never changes and the only time you will get to see her is when she is drunk.

She sounds very introverted in all honesty and she doesn't sound like a bad person, just different. If she wants to express herself better then she does need to take responsibility for that though and take steps to do something about it.

You are not responsible for changing her or "fixing" her and obvs would be unreasonable to try.

You need to be aware that she may always be like this and decide based on that whether you want to be with her long term.

OMG I'm rubbish tonight!
The fact that she only expresses herself in what you consider an open and deep way when she's drunk is a big issue.

Someone constantly questioning me like that would absolutely drive me round the bend.