Letchy fucking men

[ineedsun]

I don’t think IABU but I’m due on so might be over reacting.

I wore shorts today because it’s warm here, not proper short, shorts, probably two or three inches above the knee, I walked somewhere - about 3 mile round trip. I’m just fed up of letchy men, I can ignore staring, and someone smiling and saying hello is friendly and nice but people slowing down to comment or make the sort of noise you make to call an animal. What the fuck is wrong with them. I felt genuinely intimidated at one point and I’m a nigh on 50year old grandmother, I changed my intended route on the way back because I felt too scared to walk along a footpath. I hate to think how teenage girls feel and what their experience is.

Perhaps naively I thought the world had moved on.

[quote Gonnagetgoing]@Blossomtoes apologies didn’t see your comment![/quote]
No problem. It’s easily done.

I rarely wear shorts in public (London suburb, naice area) where I live. Seaside or countryside or on holiday yes.

On holiday in France where relatives have a holiday home funnily enough I find French men though they might look and comment it’s less leery than British men.

Yet in USA I find men to be leery but more confident in approaching you - if this makes sense?

[quote Corrag]@Blossomtoes I don't have a problem with men registering that a woman is good looking, that's perfectly natural. In the same way I might walk past a man and register that he's good looking. No harm in that. But there's something seriously wrong if we think it's perfectly OK for men to think 12 year old girls are sexy, or that they'd like to shred a woman's arse.[/quote]
I'd feel very uncomfortable walking down the street with my 12yr daughter knowing that when we pass a man he is very likely having inappropriate thoughts about her. It's not right that men are allowed to make women feel like this and needs to be stopped.

It must be lovely. A bit depressing though that you need to be a 'respectable' middle class woman in a nice area to be left alone, with other women still fair game. Not to mention it's only the fear of complaints that holds them back. I know the association with this is with men in manual jobs, but Ime white collar men are just as bad, they're just more sly and cowardly about it. Probably because they're not in a pack and they know that its judged more in their circles

I agree with you, and my post wasn't to say that it's working class men who do this and not middle class men. Just that, as you say, it is not as acceptable in middle class circles and wouldn't be overt such as cat calling and lewd comments. The misogynistic men in these circles would be more likely to make sexist, filthy comments about women when they are amongst other males and have had a few beers at the rugby club. But I guess at least these men aren't making women feel uncomfortable and vulnerable by yelling rude comments at them as they walk down the street. Of course they are still sexist arseholes though who need their arses kicking.

After she was widowed, my partner's gran said she wouldn't have another man if he was giftwrapped. The older I get the more I'm inclined to agree with her.

A couple of years ago me and 17 yo DD were in Asda. I stopped to get something and a youngish man siddled up to DD and whispered " I've been following you around just to look at your arse". Unfortunately for him I heard and went off like a rocket, and you know what? He didn't even care, security told him to leave and he was smirking. DD has been harassed since she was 12.
I've joined a gym to use the pool and last week there was only me and another woman in it. She was lane swimming on one side and I was on the other. The whole of the pool between us but and man gets in and swims as close to me as he can without touching
Every time I got to the end he was standing obviously trying to catch my eye. When the woman got out I did too.
I'm 52 I thought this kind of shit would be stopping.

This used to happen to me on a very regular basis. I worked in a sandwich shop and one man told me that all the men would ask for a topping at the front of the cabinet so that they could see my boobs when I leaned forward. 😕

Now I am older it happens much less frequently, but my daughter has started having the same thing. The other day we were in a shop and a man was sitting in a chair. As we passed him he literally had his mouth hanging open staring at my daughter’s boobs. I was torn between commenting or not drawing attention to it and making my daughter uncomfortable. In the end I couldn’t resist and told him ‘Close your mouth, she’s 14’. Although her age shouldn’t make a blind bit of difference to whether she should be gawked at….

@Corrag

After she was widowed, my partner's gran said she wouldn't have another man if he was giftwrapped. The older I get the more I'm inclined to agree with her.

That's what my mum used to say after my dad died.

@Journeyofthedragons, I don’t think men generally think these thoughts - just the occasional one. I can guarantee my brother wouldn’t think that way at all.

@risefromyourgrave and @Cocolapew

I don’t have children but friends of mine with teenage daughters have got similar comments. The best thing to do is as my friends do is to confront them by saying don’t make those comments. And reminding them of her age.

I know I’ll “not all men” sometimes, when I see generalisations or double standards.

I won’t here for 2 reasons

Op was clear. She hates ketchup me . Quite right

And some of them (us) are horrible. I know that. I sometimes see that but not to the extent women do, and it’s indefensible.

So yeah. Letchy men are shit

I may not have been harassed in the streets by as many middle class men, I’ve certainly had them letching at me

And having worked in offices that are dominated by professional mc men I have certainly been harassed just as much and I was certainly made aware of the power play that this involved which is intimidating especially when you are young

They are just as bad as they feel just as entitled it’s just done differently

Ketchup me
Letchy men
Obviously

We don’t want to accept that many men are sexually attracted to girls

Girls that are not yet women but have just started to develop. I don’t know any of my friends that didn’t get a lot of inappropriate attention from men when we were in our school uniforms

So the excuse she looked older can’t be made

It’s uncomfortable as we know this will include men were know, we love, we have had a relationship with that’s why we only want to believe it’s other men those type of obviously creepy men who wear macs and hang around parks but it’s not

When your middle-aged bestie thinks her fellas chatup line of 'nice rack, love to cop a feel of those' is acceptable, it makes me despair! Then she wonders why I can't stand him & says I'll stay single with that standpoint!! 🤦‍♀️I'd rather stay single from 47 to infinity than settle for a misogynistic twat.

I don’t know any of my friends that didn’t get a lot of inappropriate attention from men when we were in our school uniforms

I've been wondering if secondary school blazers were introduced partly / subconsciously to cover up boobs.

We don’t want to accept that many most men are sexually attracted to girls

FTFY

Horrific amount of NAMALT in this thread.

Had a disagreement with a colleague when he said that girls high school uniforms are awful as they are dressed like prostitutes

Wtf it’s a uniform the issue is men’s fantasy which is revolting

Earlier this year a survey found that 97% of women have experienced sexual harassment - whether in the street, in the workplace, etc.

I’m really happy for you if you are in the 3% but please don’t use that good fortune to dismiss other women’s experiences.

It’s been happening to me since I was 11. I found it pretty traumatic when it first started happening (given I was still a child). It’s incredibly liberating to be slowly ageing out of it.

Honestly, I often think I’ll be glad when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. The hatred and violence towards women is worse than ever. We may be viewed slightly less as chattels and goods, but society hasn’t improved for that.
I remember being sat chatting with my female flat mates at uni in the early 90’s. We had a central kitchen/communal area for the 8 bedrooms and then 4 bedrooms and a bathroom either side if it with flat entrances on each each side. Boys on one side, girls on the other. None of us knew each other prior to moving in. Sat chatting to two of my female flat mates we established all of us had experienced sexual violence ranging from indecent assault to rape. We concluded that our other flatmate had probably experienced something too given her behaviour. But definitely 3/4 of us had survived that living in different parts of the UK.
Our male flat mates decided to plaster the corridor walls on their side of the flat with explicit pictures from porn from porn mags and started putting them up in the kitchen replacing them when we took them down. This was when the first “female aimed porn mag” was launched, although it was illegal to publish an erect penis in there! We bought the magazine and plastered the kitchen with the photos, the blokes were horrified and claimed it put them off their food. They even complained to the porters who would bring up our post once a day. Fortunately the porters were decent men and told them in no uncertain terms that they were being idiots and made them take down their porn but said we should leave up ours! We did leave it up for a couple of weeks after that, but took it down before one of the girls parents visited!

I disagree about porn.
I was abused as a young child many times. The internet did not exist then so no online porn.
The truth is a lot of men hate women.
They seriously do not like women existing.
They can’t openly say they hate their mother/sister/daughter/wife but they sure as hell hate other women.
When I was young it was women drivers/women bosses/ women who were lesbians/ women who had a child without a husband/ women who didn’t live with a man basically any independent woman.
Now you would look like a complete cunt if you openly spoke Ill of any one of those women. Do now it’s moved. They take it out on other women, women who dare to be out and about. How dare a woman go out jogging/ walking etc
Fuck me we talk about places like Afghanistan but we are not that much better are we.
What these fucking men are saying us this “Get back in your fucking box, and know your place.”
I’m also sick and tired of the apologists on here.
I believe they feel remarkably threatened. Fact is with your attitude it probably is your Nigel who is the dirty cunt trying to get it on with a child isn’t it?
It isn’t just one or two men. It’s far, far too wide spread for that to be the case. Remember women and children are in more danger in their own home than they are out on the streets even in the roughest areas.

@Onlinedilema
for you

I also agree 100% with everything that you posted.

It isn’t just one or two men. It’s far, far too wide spread for that to be the case. Remember women and children are in more danger in their own home than they are out on the streets even in the roughest areas

That's right, women need to be looking at their own husbands, fathers, brothers and sons if we ever want this to stop.

@Journeyofthedragons Why is it women's job to fix this? How about men get their fucking house in order instead?

Agree with Corrag. Why do women ‘need to be looking’ at men?