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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

999 replies

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 28/08/2021 00:41

First thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4332702-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday

OP posts:
HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:29

'Trolling' and 'something I disagree with' are two different things.

Jumpingintosummer · 29/08/2021 00:29

Sorry it came to a head this way. Unfortunately your friend is so wrapped up in A that she has turned into an enabling arse. She should e ashamed of vilifying your daughter when her own child is so blatantly unreasonable.

adeleh · 29/08/2021 00:29

I don't feel very sympathetic towards Alyssa's mother. Imagine going to shout at a 9-year-old for getting to an air-pillow before another kid. It's pretty nasty, bullying behaviour. Any sensible parent would have been telling their child to grow up and calm down. She's been a pretty shit friend to OP this week. I'd be spectacularly pissed off if I were OP and I don't think I'd be planning to call her in a week's time.
I have a small pang of sympathy for her in the future when Alyssa won't have friends and she'll be forced to realise that her daughter has serious behavioural problems. But turning on people like the OP for finally refusing to put Alyssa first is not nice.

Maddison12 · 29/08/2021 00:31

"Why don't you talk to her Alyssa and I'll go with you".

How fucking intimidating is that!!! An adult and child approaching my 9yo to have a go ag her.

Wow, I'm actually lost for words at this that's a first

Alyssa/ the mums behaviour is beyond lunacy. Anyone sane would of said "it doesn't matter who got there first, now pack it in."

You are not in the wrong, I wouldn’t have anything to say to her in the morning. Nor would I be calling her in a week.

PartyPotato · 29/08/2021 00:32

Fuck dobble

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:33

@adeleh

I don't feel very sympathetic towards Alyssa's mother. Imagine going to shout at a 9-year-old for getting to an air-pillow before another kid. It's pretty nasty, bullying behaviour. Any sensible parent would have been telling their child to grow up and calm down. She's been a pretty shit friend to OP this week. I'd be spectacularly pissed off if I were OP and I don't think I'd be planning to call her in a week's time. I have a small pang of sympathy for her in the future when Alyssa won't have friends and she'll be forced to realise that her daughter has serious behavioural problems. But turning on people like the OP for finally refusing to put Alyssa first is not nice.
The fact is, even OP didn't realise what friend/Alyssa were like to live with. So, from this secondhand account, we certainly don't know the full story. I imagine Alyssa's mum is painfully aware that her kid is 'difficult' and given that the younger one is apparently so well behaved, I'm inclined to think it's not all down to shitty parenting.
Luckymummytoone · 29/08/2021 00:35

When you text her just send the link to this thread 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Feedingthebirds1 · 29/08/2021 00:36

I imagine Alyssa's mum is painfully aware that her kid is 'difficult'

I don't think she's painfully aware at all. Not to get into a face off with a nine year old because her DD didn't get on the air mat first.

Maddison12 · 29/08/2021 00:37

I've never heard of 'Dobble' but God help anyone who ever tries to make me play it after this thread!

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:38

@Feedingthebirds1

I imagine Alyssa's mum is painfully aware that her kid is 'difficult'

I don't think she's painfully aware at all. Not to get into a face off with a nine year old because her DD didn't get on the air mat first.

Well, again, you really have no idea. It's not possible to get a full picture from a thread on mumsnet especially when its main purpose is entertainment.
GrandmaSteglitszch · 29/08/2021 00:38

Adrian, the younger one was pandered to when she yelled about the wrong colour of plate.
So going the same way.

ThreeLittleDots · 29/08/2021 00:38

If friend has any shame or self-awareness she'll apologise to you & DD, and confess to being frightened of A and totally out of her depth.

I wouldn't hold my breath though, so would distance myself.

Kiduknot · 29/08/2021 00:39

I like dobble…

Plumtree391 · 29/08/2021 00:40

I am gobsmacked, Frangi. What nightmare people you have been holidaying with. The child is seriously weird and allowed to get away with it. It's so much more than not wanting to go to bed, it's really quite horrible.

You and your daughter handled it perfectly so no looking back, just move on. I hope you get some sleep.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/08/2021 00:40

Went into the living room to get our board games we brought and I kicked over the Dobble cards. Not even sorry

You assaulted the Dobble cards. Badass. 😂 ADH. Actual Dobble Harm.

There is no coming back from that, you do know that?!

Seriously though, idk if I would be willing to contact your friend after this. She ruined your holiday and reprimanded your dd for doing nothing but be her. That’s pretty inexcusable. One thing for sure, the holiday suggestion for next year is off the Dobble cards.

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:41

@GrandmaSteglitszch

Adrian, the younger one was pandered to when she yelled about the wrong colour of plate. So going the same way.
5yo complains because they want a different coloured plate and that means they'll be a nightmare at 9yo? Ok.
adeleh · 29/08/2021 00:42

Well, it's possible that she is painfully aware, but she appears to be exacerbating the situation and it's not OK to make everyone else pander to it as well.
And yes we aren't hearing the full story - you never do when you only hear it from one person, so that's always a given on Mumsnet. I also don't think the thread was written solely to entertain. I think OP is very funny, has drawn on that as a raconteur, but is also pretty upset at being sidelined as she has been and then shouted at for no good reason along with her 9-year-old.

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:42

@BluebellsGreenbells

Can you type and dig at the same time whilst swigging whisky chanting ‘I fucking won!’
😂😂😂😂😂
OP posts:
Hertsgirl10 · 29/08/2021 00:45

I’m new to this party I saw the 1st thread and have been so shocked!

Didn’t even know what soft parenting was till I saw this, ummm WOW.
There’s groups for people that can’t tell their kids no or set boundaries? I mean why? Are they proud of these horrors they’re creating, do they know that when these brats get older it’s the actual public that have to deal with their little darlings.

OP I have yet to get through the comments in this 2nd thread, but you have the patience of a saint, honestly don’t know how you haven’t let rip on the pair of them..

WTF is so wrong with actually parenting kids these days?

If you have (since I haven’t seen all updates) but if you have finally flipped, then where can I send you some wine to celebrate 🎉

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:46

@adeleh

Well, it's possible that she is painfully aware, but she appears to be exacerbating the situation and it's not OK to make everyone else pander to it as well. And yes we aren't hearing the full story - you never do when you only hear it from one person, so that's always a given on Mumsnet. I also don't think the thread was written solely to entertain. I think OP is very funny, has drawn on that as a raconteur, but is also pretty upset at being sidelined as she has been and then shouted at for no good reason along with her 9-year-old.
I agree that OP's sense of humour appeals to a certain type of mner. Plenty of jokes about wine, etc.

Lesson learned i suppose. Take them on your own next time. Since this thread is full of smuggery already, I manage it with 3, including one with ASD.

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:47

Wow I can't believe you didn't blurt out every single thing that your friend has done this week and how she is actually making a huge rod for her own back, displayed quite plainly for all to see in her daughter's inappropriate behaviour

Well there were a few things about Alyssa's behaviour peppered into conversation, such as she needs to learn to cope better she can't always be first and focuses too much on being the first to do everything, never considering someone else may wanna go first

OP posts:
Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:48

@Spotsmum

How it went down
😂😂😂
OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 29/08/2021 00:51

Imagine going to shout at a 9-year-old for getting to an air-pillow before another kid. It's pretty nasty, bullying behaviour

This from a ‘gentle’ parent?

Yeah right when it suits her child.

Original poster
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:54

@prettybird

I've been following both threads. I think you and your dd have been more than reasonable Thanks. I actually feel sorry for Alyssa as she isn't learning boundaries or routines (important even if she turns out not to be NT) Sad. Not so sorry for her mum as she is the one not doing her dd (or her friends) any favours. But she'll learn that the hard way. Hmm

As a serious point, if you're in Scotland but visiting from elsewhere in the UK, you might not know that the blood alcohol limit is lower here than in England, so it's even more important to be careful about driving the day after the night before Shock

Oh fuck you're right I forgot they changed it a while ago.

Yes driving back to England.

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 29/08/2021 00:54

Sounds like A has some serious insecurities going on and her mum has no idea how to support her properly. Well done to your DD though, I loved the vision of her practising her back flips while A was having a hissy fit.