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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

999 replies

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 28/08/2021 00:41

First thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4332702-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday

OP posts:
KindnessMyFriends · 29/08/2021 00:08

Awww bless you @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop. Get some sleep. Pint of water and painkillers first.
Tomorrow is a new day and things always seem better in the morning.

ThatMortgageDilemma · 29/08/2021 00:08

Jesus, what a mess. But honestly, no wonder she has such a brat if she panders to her in such stupid way.

You put up with Alyssa's behaviour for a week and now you are the bad person because you didn't force your DD to pander to an entitled girl?

I would go out with the neighbours and have a good time before setting home tomorrow. I bet your friend is going to be still comforting Alyssa for another week.

One thing that I find peculiar is how often kids who are portrayed as "sensitive" by their parents are often the most selfish inconsiderate kids around.

PartyPotato · 29/08/2021 00:09

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop you're right, it is, and i'm sorry you've been through this :(
BUT I hope it gives you a little comfort that we all think you've done the right thing sticking up for DD, and you are obviously a great mom and a goddamn brilliant person

Kiduknot · 29/08/2021 00:10

The only way to move on is if you have a candid chat and then both move on to a relationship which doesn’t involve the kids. Not sure she’ll be up to seeing your point of view though.

Backtoblack1 · 29/08/2021 00:10

Verruca Salt definitely springs to mind!

Please be careful driving home tomorrow. It takes 10 hrs for a bottle of wine to leave your liver. X

JoyOrbison · 29/08/2021 00:11

Don't go anywhere... When you get up, and when your friend gets up, give her a cold steely eye and make her feel uncomfortable enough to leave.

If your friend can't be bothered to parent she xan take the consequences of that.

Don't falter or make small talk, if you lose her you lose her, at the point she was going to approach your dd along with her dd she stopped bei g your friend, she was willing to intimidate a young child. Fuck that!

mediumbrownmug · 29/08/2021 00:12

Oh, OP. YADNBU at all. Your so-called friend has nary a thought for your poor DD’s feelings, sensitive or otherwise, while being screamed at inches from her face with an intimidating adult overlord looking approvingly on. That would be game over for me with Alyssa and her Bossy Posse, and I would make zero bones about why. Your DD will remember you standing up for her, and that will be her abiding memory of this holiday. Therefore it is not ruined, OP. Good for you. Flowers

BluebellsGreenbells · 29/08/2021 00:12

Your daughter handled it very well and didn’t back down or be intimidated by this dreadful child.

I doubt your daughter is crying and gettin upset, take a lead out of her book and show some good grace and walk away with your head held high! You are clearly smashing parenting.

PartyPotato · 29/08/2021 00:13

yeah dont feel like there's any need for you to go rushing off OP, either she can or you can both tough it out

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 29/08/2021 00:14

Your DD will remember you standing up for her, and that will be her abiding memory of this holiday. Therefore it is not ruined, OP. Good for you.

Totally this!

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:14

@2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney I promise I won't, I've never drink driven (drink drove?) and is fuck my career so I won't. I will pack the car and maybe go for a lush morning walk (early morning Scottish mist you here is absolutely gorgeous sight to behold) followed by breakfast, swimming, fannying on doing something else, lunch then leave and hope I don't bump into my friend. I'll chill out and call or text her in a week. That's my plan of action

OP posts:
GrandmaSteglitszch · 29/08/2021 00:17

Well done Frangi and Emma!

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 29/08/2021 00:17

I’ll chill out and call or text her in a week

You’re more generous than I would be @Frangi - I’d have deleted her number blocked her already 😆

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:17

Ahh this thread really smacks of a bunch of parents trying to be a bit badass. I mean, Alyssa sounds irritating but I have more sympathy for her mum than anyone else.

notthemum · 29/08/2021 00:18

@Glugglejug

ODFOD

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 29/08/2021 00:19

@HailAdrian did you read the update? I couldn’t be less sympathetic to A’s mom after how she behaved today

FatJan · 29/08/2021 00:22

@HailAdrian

Ahh this thread really smacks of a bunch of parents trying to be a bit badass. I mean, Alyssa sounds irritating but I have more sympathy for her mum than anyone else.
What on EARTH are you talking about?
Feedingthebirds1 · 29/08/2021 00:22

I think you need to tell friend straight that her child is NOT the most important person in the world, and why should your DCs always have to step back and let her be first. They have feelings too.

Pianoandpoems · 29/08/2021 00:23

Sorry, couldn't resist... Smile

There was a Mumsnetter called Frangi
Whose holiday made her so angry,
But it wasn't the plumbing, the noise or the place,
It was an 8 year old girl with an angelic face.

But how, you cry now, did this child cause such stress?
Was it tantrums, or rudeness, or refusing to dress?

No my dear reader, it wasn't one simple thing,
Although her insistence on winning was enough of a sin ...
The true cause of the ire was her bedtime routine
Which really and truly was not ever seen.

She would not settle like all good children do
And actually behaved like a bit of a poo
She pranced and she danced and caused quite a big stir
And never set foot past her own bedroom door

Our poster, who needed a bit of a break,
Couldn't speak out for good friendships sake
But instead would witness (while silently seething)
A child, with no manners, her rest time stealing

But didn't her mother just send her to bed?
No my sweet reader, the mother was led
On a wild merry dance of indulgence and pleading
While all other children were peacefully sleeping.

The moral with children is that friends you may be
But spoiling the child is not good when there's three
Some lines should be drawn, and some rules put in place
So mums can get rest and wake with smiles on their face!

... Flowers for you Frangi ... hope it all works out Smile

mathanxiety · 29/08/2021 00:24

How did you feel when you saw Liam lying on the playground hurt and crying'? 'Do you think you made the right choice to hit him'?

I know a child who would have honestly answered, 'I felt great,' to the first question, and, 'Yes', to the second. This is because his parents are fans of a book called Parenting Without Shame. As a result, he has no sense of right and wrong, no sense that he should consider the effects of his choices on others. His moral development has been seriously stunted.

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:24

[quote VillanellesOrangeCoat]@HailAdrian did you read the update? I couldn’t be less sympathetic to A’s mom after how she behaved today[/quote]
The one about getting pissed in the pub with the kids? Surprised MN hasn't 'hoiked up it's judgy pants' for that one. 😂

HailAdrian · 29/08/2021 00:25

What on EARTH are you talking about?

Talking to randoms on the internet like they make zero sense probably doesn't provoke the reaction you're hoping for.

HTH Smile

Spotsmum · 29/08/2021 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

prettybird · 29/08/2021 00:26

I've been following both threads. I think you and your dd have been more than reasonable Thanks. I actually feel sorry for Alyssa as she isn't learning boundaries or routines (important even if she turns out not to be NT) Sad. Not so sorry for her mum as she is the one not doing her dd (or her friends) any favours. But she'll learn that the hard way. Hmm

As a serious point, if you're in Scotland but visiting from elsewhere in the UK, you might not know that the blood alcohol limit is lower here than in England, so it's even more important to be careful about driving the day after the night before Shock

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/08/2021 00:27

I am loving these poems they're really cheering me up Grin

I'm half way through drunken packing. This Isolde the seventh circle of hell. Went into the living room to get our board games we brought and I kicked over the Dobble cards. I'm not even sorry.

OP posts: