To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

First thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4332702-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday

Sorry your holiday ended so badly. That's really shit.

Got to say, I'm impressed that you type so well when you are so drunk.

I’m not sure I could continue a friendship with someone who had a go at my DC like that

It would be game over for me I’m afraid

@Spotsmum

How it went down

😂😂😂

No way would I have allowed this Adult to oversee her DD screaming in my Childs face !?

Not a chance !?

@BroccoliFloret

The neighbours sound awesome.

Are you all travelling back tomorrow together? Could be errr... frosty.

No separately.

I've put the wine down and I'm going to pack once I've stopped MNing, and planning to pack the car tonight then go for breakfast in the resort at 7am, I can go to the pool at 8am and maybe set off at 9 so I can avoid friend.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

All this over fucking air pillows!!!!!

I haven't calmed down since it happened earlier. I'm just SO ANGRY my friend saw fit to go and confront my DD because she stepped on an air pillow before another person.

To me this would be a friendship ender and I would tell my friend exactly why.

I consider myself a gentle parent. Your friend isnt gentle parenting. She is barely parenting at all.

As a gentle parent, if my child behaved as Alyssa had I wouldnt be comforting her and endorsing her behaviour. The gentle part would be explaining to her why she is wrong to behave that way and why she cannot talk to people like that. But I would be telling her she ought to apologise to your DD and you, and why that is important. I would be telling her if she did not think about why how she had acted was wrong and stop behaving in that way, she would have a consequence- probably going back to the room to calm.down if you'd let youngest stay with you so she wasnt impacted.

Gentle parenting for me isn't parenting without consequences (or barely parenting at all). Yes you acknowledge and validate feelings. Yes you don't shout and be calm etc. But you don't endorse all behaviour even inappropriate. You don't completely step back from any consequences or firmly setting boundaries. Not at all.

I've been crying over it all now it doesn't seem as funny

I’d get packed and go to the neighbours’. And no, you aren’t wrong

Youre not wrong though but i dont know how your friendshp can survive this the kid is out of control because of her mother and thats not go9ng to change

You are absolutely not wrong, OP. In fact I would have handled it much worse and would have blurted out all the pandering that had already been done during the holiday and how Alyssa had been the focal point of the entire trip and had frankly ruined your time.

I think that friendship is over!

You sound awesome though! Well done for sticking up for your daughter!

As for going forward - do you really think Friend will change? Because she has created a monster and that's going to take a lot of unpicking. Far easier to keep on pandering to the tantrums and babying her child.

So you have two choices; you either distance yourself and look for new (sane) friends, or maintain the friendship but on an "adults-only" basis by meeting for coffee when the kids are elsewhere or something.

@U2HasTheEdge

Sorry your holiday ended so badly. That's really shit.

Got to say, I'm impressed that you type so well when you are so drunk.

It took as much time to amend the typos as it did to type the bloody thing

Your friend created a monster. She is an idiot. Well done to your daughter, she sounds like a well balanced, normal child. Unlike Ms Tantrum.

Some serious issues going on in that family. You weren't wrong OP, it was a complete over reaction. Maybe see how things are looking when everyone has had a chance to cool down

Well done and thanks for the update OP. (My impatient post of 23:56 cross-posted with you)

I don't think you or dd have done anything wrong but clearly you can't ever holiday with this friend again until after Alyssa has left home.

I don't recommend the drunk-pack and leave at 7am though. (a) you might still have some alcohol in your bloodstream and (b) there is always something vital found in the last 10 minutes after you think everything is packed and you do one last sweep through looking for things left behind. You can't do that bit if you leave before they get up, and would also be leaving your friend to do whatever level of cleaning is deemed necessary for check-out (which is variable according to the kind of holiday place it is obviously)

DD was right and I would be proud of how she handled it too op. You're a good mum

My goodness OP...I've followed this thread from the beginning and think you have the patience of a saint. Well done to you and your DD for standing your ground with Verruca Salt and her pansy of a mother. I think this friendship has run its course

You're not wrong OP. But there's something clearly wrong with 3breakfasts. I would just get up in the morning and try to be as normal as possible and not even refer to what happened. Hopefully your friend will have realised that she was out of order and maybe you can help her acknowledge this. Otherwise I'd just to home and have some space. Do you see much of each other back home?

Honestly you did alyssa a favour

About time she learnt the world doesnt revolve around her.

Well done Emma on not letting a friend control or ruin her fun. Her mum.should he ashamed too. It's a public play ground she has to share simple as.

I'm so sorry, OP.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong at all. Nothing.
In fact it sounds as if you and your daughter have been extremely forebearing all week.
I don't agree that it wasn't your finest hour. You'd really have let your daughter down, if you'd allowed her to be bollocked for stepping on an air pillow first.
Alyssa sounds like an absolute nightmare and your friend seems absolutely helpless and is behaving extremely unfairly.

Alyssa is really going to suffer in secondary school with this attitude. Her mother is doing her no favours.

If A needs such special consideration from everyone, friend should have explained that to start with.
I don't believe A does need that - after all friend grovelled when her 5yr old whined about a plate. 🤷

No you’re not wrong, Alyssa has behaved dreadfully and I’m surprised something like this didn’t happen sooner.
Stop drinking now, and get some water down you to sober up a bit. I’d suggest packing now do you don’t have to hang around in the morning. Also I’d not involve the neighbours any further!

Seriously op don’t leave at 7 am as you suggest . If you are still drinking now at 12 you are likely to be over the limit . Yes pack the car and be ready to go and then take up the kind offer of your neighbours and think of somewhere you can then hang out until you are ok to drive ( lunchtime? )

You're 100% not wrong and frankly your friend didn't consider YOUR need for a holiday. Well done on your little girl for sticking up for herself. The world won't cater to Alyssa as she screams her way through it when she's older, so it's a life lesson for you all.