Every bloody week it's the same

[countrygirl99]

I have a system for planning my weekly shop. It's been the same for years. There is a notepad in the kitchen and during the weeks if you notice a store cupboard item or toiletries etc are getting low you are supposed to write it on the pad. Friday I plan the meals for the week. I go through each meal and make sure we have the ingredients in the cupboard or on the shopping list then add anything else that is on the notepad. That way we should have everything we need. Every bloody week I'll be working my way through the meal plan checking the ingredients and DH will randomly ask for his shower gel or marmite or whatever meaning I loose my train of thought. I've taken to refusing to put it on the shopping lit unless he has written it on the notepad to try and train him. Apparently it is totally unreasonable to expect him to remember to use the system but not unreasonable for him to disrupt my train of thought.

YABU - bless, he's a man it's too complicated for his simple mind.
YANBU - make him go without if he doesn't floor hge system.

I have a similar system. My DH and teens add to the list as we go along. When I do the weekly shop online, I would have no problem whatsoever with someone telling me that they needed something added. I'd be annoyed, for sure, if they told me after the event, and they'd be waiting til the following week. But telling me while I'm doing the task is absolutely fine. In fact, it seems positively sensible.

I don't really understand the whole "interrupting my train of thought". It's putting things on a shopping list - which requires no thought. Seriously, how much brain power does "two tins of plum tomatoes- check!" actually use up? If your DH remembers something that is running low, what do you expect him to do? Tell you in time for you to add it to the shop, or wait til after you've done the shop and write it on the list for next week so that you run out? If I was drawing up the final shopping list/doing the online shop, I would as a courtesy anyway ask anyone around if they wanted to add anything. I also ask conversationally at dinner just before I do it if anyone had any particular meals they fancied. But then I recognise that meal planning and online shopping is one of the best tasks to have - its easy AND it means that I get to choose my preferred meals most of the time.

Yanbu.
Yabu to put loose instead of lose.

You are my people.

I have an online list on a Google keep app that I share with all the family members. They are supposed to add anything they need or anything they have finished the last of. Drives me bonkers when I announce every Sunday that I’m going to the supermarket (as I do pretty much every week) and they say “oh yeah we need Shreddies”.

IF ITS NOT ON THE LIST I’M NOT BUYING IT!

YANBU
This would annoy me. I'd be telling him to follow the effing system or find a better one and he can manage it himself.

Drives me mental when they tell me instead of adding it to the list. It’s like I’m their list adding person. Yay another task for mum,

Just have a shared shopping list synced across phones, with the ability to add to it via Alexa or Siri. All ours is linked by Siri, if I need something I just shout into the air in whatever room I’m in to add XXX to the shopping list or use my phone and add it

@EarringsandLipstick l would ask my ex-husband if he wanted anything from the shop, he would say no and then when it arrived complained where there was no x, y or z! Infuriating

Massively inflexible and controlling imo. I couldn't live somewhere so regimented.

He thinks of the things to go in the list while you are doing the list. I really think you are being super-petty about this, tbh.

Poor man.

Train him? Refuse to put an item he wants on the list?

Assuming he's not a dog or a toddler why are you being so weird and controlling about this?

@NewIdeasToday

Your system sounds complete inflexible. It’s a shopping list not air traffic control.

🤣🤣🤣

Also can't believe these military style ways of shopping that apparently take the skills of a FTSE 500 company CEO to accomplish.

I'm lucky if I make a list at all. I usually just go round the supermarket and Chuck whatever I fancy into the trolley. The world still spins on its axis funnily enough

My dh refused to work with my shopping plan, causing more work for me. So I handed him the list and said I’m out and now he meal plans and shops.

@AnneLovesGilbert

bless, he's a man it's too complicated for his simple mind

It’s this sort of contempt that’s the death kneel for relationships. It’s sad you feel this way about someone you’re supposed to love and be in a partnership with.

The thing is I don't think he's that thick, that's why it's dobloody frustrating.

@Jangle33

Why are you doing the weekly shop every week? Why do you need “a system”? Can’t you share the load with him?

We each have our tasks and it works best for me to do the shopping. He never dies z list for anything and do frequently forgets to take stuff, thd classic being his smart shoes when we travelled to a wedding necessitating diving into a shoe ship in rural France.

You really lose your train of thought if someone says "stick shower gel on the list"?

You sound massively controlling and really rude about your DH, you don't think he's "that thick"?

I love a list and organisation (so does my husband). However your system just sounds so unnecessarily rigid and complicated.

As long as everyone gets exactly what they need then does it really matter when or how stuff gets added?!

You could probably do well to relax a little bit.

@Sadiecow

You really lose your train of thought if someone says "stick shower gel on the list"?

You sound massively controlling and really rude about your DH, you don't think he's "that thick"?

Read my post 2 above yours.

@countrygirl99 I have read them, not sure the relevance?

This has gone on for years ? Oh, poor little DH can't remember to do what his busy DW asks for years - pure pa behaviour on his part. Tell him to put it on next weeks list.

I have shopped and cooked and planned all the meals for near on 40 years - 40 bluddy years - if someone is an ah and makes that more of a chore than it already is they get extremely short shrift from me. Deservedly so. Of course they're welcome to take over from me any time what mug would do that .

If it upsets your train of thought, why don't you ask him to WhatsApp you the items? You can add them to the list if you prefer

[quote Sparklfairy]@AlmostSummer21 it's every bloody week!? he's either spectacularly thick or undermining her.[/quote]
Undermining her?

Seriously??

Nope. He sees her doing the shopping order and wants to add an item. It's really not a big deal. She's doing the family shopping, not catering for 200.

Your system is too rigid

Wow. You are quite mean to your husband. Innocent comments getting that sort of reaction.

What happens is he tells once the list is finished? Do you cross your arms and say tough luck you are too late ?

I'm glad my relationship is not like this.

You are very definitely BU.