Every bloody week it's the same

[countrygirl99]

I have a system for planning my weekly shop. It's been the same for years. There is a notepad in the kitchen and during the weeks if you notice a store cupboard item or toiletries etc are getting low you are supposed to write it on the pad. Friday I plan the meals for the week. I go through each meal and make sure we have the ingredients in the cupboard or on the shopping list then add anything else that is on the notepad. That way we should have everything we need. Every bloody week I'll be working my way through the meal plan checking the ingredients and DH will randomly ask for his shower gel or marmite or whatever meaning I loose my train of thought. I've taken to refusing to put it on the shopping lit unless he has written it on the notepad to try and train him. Apparently it is totally unreasonable to expect him to remember to use the system but not unreasonable for him to disrupt my train of thought.

YABU - bless, he's a man it's too complicated for his simple mind.
YANBU - make him go without if he doesn't floor hge system.

To be honest some of the suggestions sound more complicated or more likely to lead to stuff being missed than my system popping out tother shops for a missed item would mean a 14 mile round trip with major roadworks on the way so best avoided. The village shop is ok for a loaf of of bread or milk but the range is very limited.
We actually managed to spend some quality time together yesterday for the first time in weeks which was lovely. Saturday I needed to spend the days with my mum who, because of her alzheimers, isn't coping well while dad is in hospital, 3 weeks so far and no visiting. Today DH is doing jobs for his parents, so will be out all day. Both sets are over an hours drive away. I think spending so much time recently talking to social services/care agrncies/gardeners/cleaners to sort help that parents need but then decide they don't want, taking his dad for a course of hospital treatment 3 days a wee for 3 weeks and DH fitting his self employed work around that etc, let alone the constant phone calls to tell me the same thing over and over again has taken it's toll on both of us.

Your life sounds really full and extremely stressful at the moment, I do sympathise. I guess when you have such a massive mental load, the interruptions just add to it all.
You could switch to deliveries and do your list online, then leave it to be added to by your husband if he wants. Or just do your list away from
him if he has no deodorant or marmite then it’s not the end of the world! He’ll remember to add it next time!

I don't get why you can't just write it down if you have the list? I make a list & then remember when shopping we need loo roll. By your standards, I should leave the loo roll behind because I didn't write it down. Madness! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you might be my colleague. I like you a lot but you’re awful to work with. Please get divorced.

bless, he's a man it's too complicated for his simple mind. Isn't this a bit sexist?

We share the cooking and we have a very wide repertoire. So no, it doesn't work like that

Right now, while you are so swamped, ditch your wide repertoire and stick with meals which are easy to make, nice when bunged in the microwave next day and the day after that, and require only a few ingredients.

What are you achieving by sticking to a meal prep and shopping routine that causes you to cook seven days a week when you clearly don't have the time or the energy, and the effort is causing you to feel anger and resentment toward someone who is carrying his own burdens?

What would you gain if you simplified it all by an order of magnitude?

It's the YABU though so the opposite of WhatvI think is actually reasonable.